Desk boner etiquette
Monkeys,
I've been having a problem lately and need your help. My 18 hour days and work on the weekends has left me little time to track down a girl friend, who could service my man needs. I assume this would be fairly easy for me to do, since I'm tall with good looks and nice suits, but I simply don't have the time because of work. Lately I've be been over staffed, IMO, and barely have time to take care of my own needs. Thus, this is quite embarrassing, I have been getting random boners at my desk. With that new Kate Upton video going around the office, I've been getting boners quite regularly, almost once an hour. This is fine while I can hide them under my desk, but if I need to stand up this can lead to some embarrassment. As am sure we all know, suit pants are very light in nature and will lift and conform to objects easier than say jeans for example. I have contemplated wearing under armor compression shorts to help hide the problem. I'm sure some of you will suggest taking care of my needs in the office bathroom, but I'm scared to death that someone will catch me and the repercussions, such as losing my job or becoming a registered sex offender. Should I transfer to a European bank that might provide me with a way to take care of the problem via a work sponsored prostitute party? What tactics and strategies you you all use when faced with a similar problem, I know I'm not alone on this one. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
FYI I already wear pleated pants






pleated pants oh wait
pleated pants
oh wait nevermind
go to the bathroom and take
go to the bathroom and take care of it...it's the only solution, otherwise it will keep coming back,
watch Boner Jams '03
watch Boner Jams '03
MoneyTalksMonkeysWalk: go to
go to the bathroom and take care of it...it's the only solution, otherwise it will keep coming back,
what do you mean take care of it? cut it off?
Well, you're not a sex
Well, you're not a sex offender for masturbating in a bathroom. And if someone comes into the bathroom, you stop. And believe me, they would almost never have the balls to call you out on it. Think about it. If you heard a squishy sound in the bathroom, would you seriously ever go to a boss and say "Umm... I think I heard someone jerking off." Unless you have proof, and even if you did, you'd never mention it.
melvvvar: cut it off
cut it off
if it's big, don't hide it
if it's big, don't hide it
pop some viagra every morning
pop some viagra every morning and tape it to your stomach.
Short term effect: It will be hidden.
Long term effect: You won't have the boner problem anymore.
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do u go commando? cuz if
do u go commando? cuz if not, just tuck it behind ur elastic band.
/thread
GBS
Tommy Too-toned: if it's big,
if it's big, don't hide it
You could say I'm in the bulge bracket
try a few different methods
try a few different methods and see what works best
why don't you ditch the undies tomorrow and leave your fly undone?
see which way the wind's blowin', ya know?
Did a double take when I read
Did a double take when I read the post title.
Go to the MD's secretary,
Go to the MD's secretary, open your trousers and say "its not gonna suck itself you know"
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You just need to get active.
You just need to get active. Quick lap around the office usually does the trick.
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illiniPride: You just need to
You just need to get active. Quick lap around the office usually does the trick.
Yep, I second this idea. Just go for a quick sprint in the corridor.
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This is definitely my
you know WSO is heading in
GBS
dude, when you go 6 to 12,
Make sure you bend over when
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Tuck it in the elastic of the
Anacott_CEO: Tuck it in the
illiniPride: You just need to
LOL, I've never heard of a
Tie it down.
Op, why don't you address the
36 and 3rd... Best
"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan
easy, shove it up your
Think of your grandma in a
I hate victims who respect their executioners
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Put your hand in your pocket
Three options 1. Go to the
Swear to god I got a boner at
bigtool05: Swear to god I got
Leadership can be defined in two words: "Follow Me"
melvvvar: Anacott_CEO: Tuck
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just go to the bathroom and
I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk
When this happens to me, i
Hands in pockets, make an
"I'm the luckiest guy in the world, and when I die I want to come back as me."
-Mark Cuban
at the end of the day id 100%
GBS
Rub it out. LOL
lmao
Virginia Tech 4ever: LOL,
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Ease up on the caffiene and
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i find a female in heat at
jack_donaghy: Slam pieces
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illiniPride: jack_donaghy:
CEEBanker: Monkeys, I've been
Eventus stultorum magister.