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5/19/06

I came across this funny article in the Boston Globe a while back about all the annoying buzzwords people throw around the office.

If terms like "value-add" and "thinking outside the box" make you want to jam a laser pointer into your eye, you are not alone in your suffering. Having been asked to "leverage their core competencies" one too many times, workers all across the country are offering up a collective response: Stop the insanity.

What's the worst business jargon you hear around your office?

Comments (236)

In reply to wbanker
Best Response
  •  6/30/06

let's not hammer a dead horse
let's not reinvent the wheel

ahhhhh, how bout let's not throw a haymaker at your eye when you're not looking

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5/20/06

worst ive heard is "on a go-forward basis"

In reply to am898
5/20/06

can someone give me some "color" on this post?

shoot me.

  •  5/21/06

If I could just "piggy back" on what he was saying... or maybe someone else could kind of "unpack that" a little more.

  •  5/22/06

Do we really always need to "crank" or "jam"? There are some additional annoying modeling words, but these are the worst; constantly overused. I can't stand to hear either around the office anymore.

5/22/06

The worst business jargon I hear on a daily basis is.. caveat.. the only caveat is.. i swear if I hear that one more time, I might have to use that laser pointer.

In reply to Wall Street Addict
5/22/06

My worst is "at the end of the day"

In reply to
5/23/06

I would have to agree that "jamming" is the most irritating modeling phrase ever.

In reply to groan
  •  5/23/06

"At the end of the day..."

"It is what it is"....

In reply to
5/23/06

"talk to that point", "get our arms around that"

5/24/06

"we are in the business of creating synergies mate" "Shift those graphs" "Massage the red dots"

5/24/06

"why don't you go ahead and take a stab at that and get back to me" (usually from some lazy-ass associate pawning off his work)

In reply to am898
5/25/06

everyday is another attempt at "going forward"

5/25/06

What we need to do is ... Why don't we ... And of course Mr. Client, we will work through the night to get this to you first thing in the morning.

5/25/06
5/26/06

"Get a download"

"He has some extra bandwidth"

In reply to sasm9
5/26/06

"whats the time line" annoys the hell out of me

6/10/06

-apples to apples
-apples to oranges

6/16/06

Vanilla.

(Vanilla strategy, Vanilla buying, etc.)

In reply to zhang18
  •  6/16/06

"it is what it is."

In reply to am898
  •  6/29/06
In reply to am898
6/29/06

can you "roll these changes" through the model

In reply to
6/29/06

"drill down" ... used by a VP to say that you need to "drill down" on a certain topic - i.e. go away and do hours of pointless research for few tangible results

  •  6/29/06

"at the end of the day"
"let's take a stab at it"
"can we circle up"
"deep dive"
"net-net"

And my favorite, "capacity". John, do you have capacity to model this out to year 2329??

In reply to
6/30/06

who's your daddy?

In reply to
6/30/06

Ha, I have to agree that "capacity" is a pretty bad one.

In reply to Bank_Bang
6/30/06

i agree possibly the most annoying office jargon word

In reply to
7/5/06

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7/20/06

"shoot me an e-mail"

In reply to dankobe
7/20/06
In reply to Youngone13
7/20/06

How about so and so 'pinged me' last night...as in sent an email via blackberry....ughhhhh....'pinged me'....shudder

In reply to eawolff99
7/20/06
7/20/06

"On a go-forward basis" makes me cringe, too. Is the future tense not sufficient? Also dislike "offsite" used as a noun.

7/20/06

Roadmap is another one I can't stand. Just tell me the plan.

In reply to dhlwww
7/20/06

"low hanging fruit"
"pari passu"
"ready, fire, aim"
"out of pocket"
"sh*t flows downhill".....

In reply to dhlwww
7/20/06

"let's huddle on this one"

In reply to lc
7/20/06

ramp up must be my least favorite of them all!

In reply to bankit400
7/20/06

Do you have the "Capacity" to take on another project.

of course they already know what your answer should and will be...

In reply to kwebb
7/20/06

Bankers love to "opine" on the situation. Loosely translated-here is our thoughts but if we are wrong, it was just an opinion, certainly not to be taken as an absolute...

7/24/06

Anything Latin. Para pisu comes to mind.

7/25/06

Isn't everyone pro-active? are there people that are anti-activity?

7/25/06

It's not so much the buzzwords that I hate, but rather the people that drop them without end.

In reply to ccc95
7/25/06

generally bad news when someone mentions DD

In reply to ccc95
7/25/06

if i hear my staffer say it one more time...

In reply to indojin
7/25/06
In reply to opticalcharge
7/25/06

I can't stand the word "analyst". Just call me what I am, your bitch.

In reply to mkgref
7/26/06

Yes, they shouldn't be afraid to call a spade a spade. Perhaps more in the UK than US.

In reply to market man
7/26/06

the us is too politically correct for the spade spade comment

8/9/06
8/9/06

one of my VPs favourite expressions is "we need to get this done PDQ"

In reply to livingthedream
  •  8/11/06

frequently used by senior bankers to mean "I have no fucking idea and I am an idiot but here is some bs on the subject anyways just don't ask any relevant questions"

8/12/06

Pencil fucking... oh wait that is my favorite

In reply to am898
8/22/06

any consulting-ese "frameworks", "drivers", etc..

  •  8/31/06

Earlier I heard' ablolutely, we will touch base next week and have a ball park figure for you'
Also 'Lets take this offline'
I am going to put a spade through his head soon

8/31/06

get the ducks in a line
the stars and moon align
the fact of the matter is...

8/31/06

keep your oar in the water (marketing term)

8/31/06

"i think this would be a good exercise for you" - associate

In reply to somegirlfromcali
9/4/06

somegirlfromcali, then of course proper spelling would be colour :)

9/4/06

I've got to admit,

    "ready, fire, aim"

has got to be the most hilarious!

9/4/06

Sounds like a tosser

9/4/06
9/13/06

going forward
capacity

10/16/06

"just touching base..."
"raincheck..."
"game plan..."

Arghh....!!!

10/27/06
In reply to somegirlfromcali
10/27/06

I concur, how many times do I have to hear that word!

11/15/06
12/5/06
12/5/06

Ooops wrong thread!

12/13/06

let's not reinvent the wheel - that one is horrible!
Bandwidth, intellectual capital, and ego wall are all equally bad as well

I found this game that Babson made making fun of buzzwords. They call it Buzzword Blending Syndrome (BBS)lol - pretty funny and kills some time:
Buzzword Blends

12/16/06

Ass = associate = ass***

1/9/07

Synergy and brand equity

1/18/07
1/18/07

noodle this a little...

1/19/07
1/19/07
1/19/07
1/20/07
1/23/07

way overused everywhere (really bad in the UK though).

and it adds absolutely nothing to the meaning of the sentence.

2/4/07

We had a sales call from a Canadian HF (who we can't do business with) called Giraffe Capital. My VP gets on the call with me and takes over, before first telling me (on mute) that he will throw in giraffe jokes.

He used:
Let me stretch my neck out on this one and guess..
So we can grab that low-hanging fruit
Let's paint the spots on the animal

He kept a totally strait face and I was DYING!!!

2/10/07
2/16/07

"I need this done by tonight"...

In reply to grind
2/27/07
grind:

any consulting-ese "frameworks", "drivers", etc..

same here.

In reply to NSX
2/27/07
In reply to gradhopes
3/1/07
gradhopes:

"I need this done by tonight"...

fuck i hate this one. and also "we have new projects coming up..."

3/6/07

I hate the word situation. Everything's a "situation". I'd just prefer if somebody could use the word "issue" of "problem" for a change...

3/14/07

This drives me nuts:
in French: deja vu = Already seen...
How can this dummy says " Already seen already seen all over again" what the Fu$%#$#

MC2

6/15/07
In reply to AlphaGirl
6/17/07

The best post on this thread lol.

amb05:

We had a sales call from a Canadian HF (who we can't do business with) called Giraffe Capital. My VP gets on the call with me and takes over, before first telling me (on mute) that he will throw in giraffe jokes.

He used:
Let me stretch my neck out on this one and guess..
So we can grab that low-hanging fruit
Let's paint the spots on the animal

He kept a totally strait face and I was DYING!!!

6/18/07

something we can all aspire to...

6/19/07

"take ownership"

"this is what you signed up for"

"be the bulldog"

etc...

The "ownership" one is my least favorite. I'm not going to display an "ownership" level of interest in anything that I don't actually own.

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