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I came across this funny article in the Boston Globe a while back about all the annoying buzzwords people throw around the office.

If terms like "value-add" and "thinking outside the box" make you want to jam a laser pointer into your eye, you are not alone in your suffering. Having been asked to "leverage their core competencies" one too many times, workers all across the country are offering up a collective response: Stop the insanity.

What's the worst business jargon you hear around your office?

1

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Comments (236)

    • ?
    • (Chimp, 0 )
    •  on 5/21/06 at 4:11pm
    Anonymous Monkey's picture

    If I could just "piggy back" on what he was saying... or maybe someone else could kind of "unpack that" a little more.

    • ?
    • (Chimp, 0 )
    •  on 5/22/06 at 9:45am
    Anonymous Monkey's picture

    Do we really always need to "crank" or "jam"? There are some additional annoying modeling words, but these are the worst; constantly overused. I can't stand to hear either around the office anymore.

  • Wall Street Addict's picture

    The worst business jargon I hear on a daily basis is.. caveat.. the only caveat is.. i swear if I hear that one more time, I might have to use that laser pointer.

  • Monkey444's picture

    "we are in the business of creating synergies mate" "Shift those graphs" "Massage the red dots"

  • nychimp's picture

    "why don't you go ahead and take a stab at that and get back to me" (usually from some lazy-ass associate pawning off his work)

  • BankerNoMore's picture

    What we need to do is ... Why don't we ... And of course Mr. Client, we will work through the night to get this to you first thing in the morning.

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  • sasm9's picture

    "Get a download"

    "He has some extra bandwidth"

  • stupidjob's picture

    -apples to apples
    -apples to oranges

  • zhang18's picture

    Vanilla.

    (Vanilla strategy, Vanilla buying, etc.)

  • In reply to am898
    generaltao's picture

    can you "roll these changes" through the model

  • In reply to
    stefdog's picture

    "drill down" ... used by a VP to say that you need to "drill down" on a certain topic - i.e. go away and do hours of pointless research for few tangible results

    • ?
    • (Chimp, 0 )
    •  on 6/29/06 at 10:17pm
    Anonymous Monkey's picture

    "at the end of the day"
    "let's take a stab at it"
    "can we circle up"
    "deep dive"
    "net-net"

    And my favorite, "capacity". John, do you have capacity to model this out to year 2329??

  • In reply to
    boondoggle's picture

    who's your daddy?

  • In reply to wbanker
    • ?
    • (Chimp, 0 )
    •  on 6/30/06 at 3:35pm
    Anonymous Monkey's picture

    let's not hammer a dead horse
    let's not reinvent the wheel

    ahhhhh, how bout let's not throw a haymaker at your eye when you're not looking

  • dankobe's picture

    "shoot me an e-mail"

  • In reply to eawolff99
    goopty's picture
  • dhlwww's picture

    "On a go-forward basis" makes me cringe, too. Is the future tense not sufficient? Also dislike "offsite" used as a noun.

  • dhlwww's picture

    Roadmap is another one I can't stand. Just tell me the plan.

  • In reply to dhlwww
    koko's picture

    "low hanging fruit"
    "pari passu"
    "ready, fire, aim"
    "out of pocket"
    "sh*t flows downhill".....

  • In reply to bankit400
    kwebb's picture

    Do you have the "Capacity" to take on another project.

    of course they already know what your answer should and will be...

  • In reply to kwebb
    johnmatthews000's picture

    Bankers love to "opine" on the situation. Loosely translated-here is our thoughts but if we are wrong, it was just an opinion, certainly not to be taken as an absolute...

  • benwso's picture

    Anything Latin. Para pisu comes to mind.

  • CaptainJapan's picture

    Isn't everyone pro-active? are there people that are anti-activity?

  • ccc95's picture

    It's not so much the buzzwords that I hate, but rather the people that drop them without end.

  • In reply to mkgref
    market man's picture

    Yes, they shouldn't be afraid to call a spade a spade. Perhaps more in the UK than US.

  • In reply to market man
    PETillIDie's picture

    the us is too politically correct for the spade spade comment

  • corpfintool's picture
  • livingthedream's picture

    one of my VPs favourite expressions is "we need to get this done PDQ"

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