Congratulations to the 2014 Forum Member of the Year: DickFuld

Winning by an astounding margin (31% of the votes vs 15% ), congratulations to user @"DickFuld" for winning the 2014 WSO Member of the Year vote. Also congratulations to to @thebrofessor for coming in second with 15% of the votes. @"IlliniProgrammer" and @"CompBanker" tied for third with 8% of the vote.

Dickfuld... what can I say. Love him or distain him, he provides some incredible insight on the site, is sometimes the wittiest of the witty, takes pulls from the bottle that only the likes of Eddie can compare to, and best of all he never turns down a chance to help out a younger monkey, usually with honest and quality information (believe it or not he is a BSD at a major firm). We'll let the comments/posts below speak for themselves, but just wanted to remind you all he has an astounding 855:183 silver banana to monkey shit ratio, a quantity and ratio matched by very few.

Below you'll find quotes/links to his top comments (ranked by # of silver bananas) and links to all of his forum/blog posts in the past year+.

Which comment and/or post of his is your favorite?

1. Thread: "The Misguidance at Non-target Schools"

I learned several things from this post that I found interesting.

1. Apparently, there are still people in this country with college degrees who only earn $42,000 per year.

2. The kid who mentioned how much he was getting paid was a douche for telling the whole class his pay level. He is also a douche for thinking that is worth bragging about.

3. Your finance professor is also a douche. Leave that 'money isn't everything' shtick to the art and philosophy professors.

4. You give way too much of a shit what other people think. My hunch is that you only want these other students to learn more about the distinctions between retail banking and investment banking because you want them to know how prestigious you are. That's pretty fucked up too. There's always someone smarter, making more money, or has a bigger dick than you, so getting into these comparisons provides no real benefit to your life.

- 20 silver bananas

2. Thread: "BB Culture in Two Words"

Slash-Finance:

DickFuld:
Goldman Sachs: ass holes
JP Morgan: commercial bank
Morgan Stanley: Dean Witter
Lehman Brothers: phenomenal, innovative
Bear Stearns: poor, hungry
Merrill Lynch: stock brokers
Credit Suisse: former DLJ
Deutsche Bank: German owned

That about wraps it up. A couple more though:

UBS: No bonus
Well Fargo: Checking account

He asked about BB firms, not UBS and Wells Fargo.

- 9 silver bananas

3. Thread: "Girl Help"

Blackhawks4: Athlete, very attractive,/chill, but she sleeps around a lot.

'but' is the wrong word. 'and' is much more appropriate.

- 7 silver bananas

4. Thread: "11 Steps to Becoming a Finance Jedi"

Menascyn: I wish @DickFuld would sign off on his posts like that.

I would, but I'm not a pretentious douche. So I won't.

- 7 silver bananas

5. Thread: "Can sleeping with a client get an intern fired? I may have made a mistake."

That's called client service. Why would you get fired for that?

- 6 silver bananas

6. Thread: "What do you do after work?"

Plot my revenge.

- 6 silver bananas

7. Thread: "BB Culture in Two Words"

Goldman Sachs: ass holes
JP Morgan: commercial bank
Morgan Stanley: Dean Witter
Lehman Brothers: phenomenal, innovative
Bear Stearns: poor, hungry
Merrill Lynch: stock brokers
Credit Suisse: former DLJ
Deutsche Bank: German owned

- 5 silver bananas

8. Thread: "I made a rap song!"

Stay in school That was painful to hear.

PS -- I have never seen as big of an attention whore as you. We're you neglected as a child or have you just forgotten to fap recently? It's rare that I recommend fapping more often, but even fapping would probably be a more productive use of your time than what you're currently doing. Anything but 'rapping'. Don't do that again.

- 5 silver bananas

9. Thread: "30 Day Challenge"

GoodBread: You guys know some alcohol is good for you right?

Sure, but no alcohol is significantly better than the amounts I (and probably many others) consume. When I hear things like 'a glass or two of wine with dinner can bring some health benefits', all I can think is 'ok, what about a 750 ML bottle of Bombay Sapphire? When does that start to turn from positive to negative?'

- 5 silver bananas

10. Thread: "Too many damn feminine men Today?"

Maybe you didn't read what Adrian Petersen actually did to his 4 year old kid. He whipped the shit out of him with a stick and the kid had lacerations all over his ass and even his nuts. In my mind, what he did is worse than what Ray Rice did (although neither is good). Maybe some of you aren't familiar with how little and infantile 4 year olds are, but they are tiny and defenseless.

If that's what's considered 'being a man', I say, 'no, thanks'.

- 5 silver bananas

11. Thread: "Make Use of Time at an Ivy League"

First step is to put your suit on. You don't want them thinking you attend a nontarget.

- 5 silver bananas

12. Thread: "Do Women flock to us if we make it big in the investment world?"

Whoever came up with the saying, "there's no such thing as a dumb question," needs to be bitch-slapped. Hard.

- 5 silver bananas

13. Thread: "How much do you tip?"

adapt or die: Good god, not another tipping thread
Are Asian men less desirable?

Great question, I have a few other questions:

Should I wear a backpack to work?

Why are all these ladies at work wanting to ride my cock and why do I keep getting held back at work?

If my girlfriend fucks my boss, is she a slut or am I a pussy?

Why is affirmative action holding the white and Asian man down so much?

Will not drinking hold me back?

How many dudes has the average girl been banged by?

How exactly are you supposed to talk to girls anyway?

How far can a jet ski go on the Mississippi without refueling?

Is dropping out of finance to become a trucker cool?

Can anybody help me with some broscience for my workout or hangover routine?

And finally, is the user DickFuld for real?

- 5 silver bananas

14. Thread: "Co-head of TMT at GS has left the bank"

And all you kids say it's impossible to move to the buy side after the Analyst level. WSO members wrong again.

- 5 silver bananas

15. Thread: "MBB in undesirable living situation, ACN in a good city, or Global Fortune 25 Company for B-School"

God damn, this is insane. Clearly MBB is the best offer and it's not even close. You're thinking about taking a worse job in a worse city because A) you don't want to live with your parents for 1 year (maybe more) and B) you are too afraid to tell them you don't want to live with them. Just tell your Dad you won't be able to get laid if you live with them. Your parents don't own you, but if you let them control you with the grad school carrot, they basically do. Don't make a bad decision because you don't want to have an uncomfortable conversation. Show a little leadership/backbone.

- 4 silver bananas

16. Thread: "Jordan Belfort: 4 Keys To Becoming Wildly Successful"

More realistic version of the 4 keys to success from Jordan Belfort:

1. Lie
2. Cheat
3. Steal
4. Repeat

- 4 silver bananas

17. Thread: "Career Advice. Do I take a 50%+ pay cut?"

1. What's U of A?
2. Don't take a 50% pay cut for a career path you don't want to follow.

- 4 silver bananas

18. Thread: "I'm not a pretty woman -how to get a boyfriend and a job if i'm not pretty."

It seems to me that being an Asian female is highly sought after in the dating pool. So, not really sure that you have a good grasp on reality.

If you're actually "cute", I don't know what the issue is, but it's probably your personality. Do you ever get out of the house to socialize? Or, do you just stay in and watch tv/read?

Tell you what, go get a Brazilian wax and come to New York. I'll buy you a nice dinner and then ____ you just to take the pressure off (I like to give back to WSO). Then you will have the confidence to go find another guy in your age range.

- 4 silver bananas

19. Thread: "Having a girlfriend as a young investment banker"

Is this even a decision WSO can help with?

If you have a girlfriend and WSO says dump her, will you actually go through with it? Or, is it more likely that you have no girlfriend and never get any action and you know WSO will say no girlfriend is preferable, so you ask the question and feel better about your forced abstinent lifestyle in some small but meaningful way?

On the one hand, comments like this make me wonder why I waste so much time here. On the other hand, comments like this are perfect fodder for tearing to shreds. Damn you OP.

- 4 silver bananas

20. Thread: "Paying for girls"

I thought this was going to be a thread about prostitutes......and I was kind of right.

- 4 silver bananas

21. Thread: "Corporatism is running wild on the east coast"

IlliniProgrammer: In 100 years, I expect we'll have a benign socialist dictatorship run by a mainframe computer.

I believe you were curious as to why some people consider you to be a troll. Here you go.

- 4 silver bananas

22. Thread: "Politics for the 21st Century"

I'd make sterilization mandatory at age 14 for anyone who scores less than 90 on an IQ test.

And I would make shorts or skirts a jail-able offense for fat people. Long pants only. Also, for anyone with cankles, regardless of overall weight.

- 3 silver bananas

23. Thread: "17 year old worth $72mm from trading?"

The kid is actually making a documentary about how easy it is to manipulate the media. He will be a shoo in for whatever college he applies to now given how well his thesis played out.

At least, that's the rumor I'm hearing.

- 3 silver bananas

24. Thread: "long hair - cool or not cool"

No upside and significant downside. It's a terrible idea. Do you value your hair or your career more? Wait to get a stupid haircut when you have a significant P&L, people will care a lot less at that point. Right now? You are a commodity, not a special snowflake.

- 3 silver bananas

25. Thread: "What goes up must come down…so when will the market correct itself?"

The S&P 500 will be at least 2250 by the end of 2015 is my prediction.

- 2 silver bananas

His forum/blog posts from the past year (in no order whatsoever)

"How do you invest your personal assets?"

"Where will the Finance Industry be in a decade?"

New firm: lehmanbrothe.rs

URGENT: Diversification question

Heavy boozing to moderate boozing?

INTRODUCING: 'Ask DickFuld'

Ask DickFuld November 2014

Ask DickFuld April 2014

From non-target to BB CEO: My story