Hilarious Banker Blows Tinder Date

I just watched this and died laughing, so I thought I'd take a quick break from my vacation and share it with you guys. This guy is the PERFECT banker tool. And good news: it's about to become a series. Enjoy:

 

What was funny or great about that? They only called it Timber due to legal reasons stated in the beginning of the video. Or am I missing something?

Once I did bad and that I heard ever. Twice I did good and that I heard never.
 

Gotta respect how many classic banker bro-isms they cover in a twenty minute video. Also funny to hear Trent come close to saying "Tinder" before catching himself. Love the self-referential joke.

 

Was waiting for him to whip out a business card, "That's bone. And the lettering is something called Silian Rail."

"Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like a compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised."
 

WOW, this was so well done! Jesus H. Christ, I know like 20 of this guy.

Edit: There's also an episode 2. Not finance based, but fellow urban-dwellers can definitely still identify. Good stuff.

//www.youtube.com/embed/MSSQJ3dPPCQ

“Millionaires don't use astrology, billionaires do”
 

Apologies, fat finger phone moment monkey shit.

Hilarious.

"After you work on Wall Street it’s a choice, would you rather work at McDonalds or on the sell-side? I would choose McDonalds over the sell-side.” - David Tepper
 

@"Edmundo Braverman" Damnit I had a feeling you'd see this and post it. My thread never got any views so I'm glad you did. Funny as shit, laughed a few times out loud which is saying a lot. "I work in fiNANCE"

"When you stop striving for perfection, you might as well be dead."
 

Started laughing at the "I was in her line of sight for like 45 mins". What a douche, but we all know one of these. Hilarious! Tonight I'm going to order a tini and tell people that I work in FiNance... see what happens.

"Decide what to be and go be it." - The Avett Brothers
 

Yeah, all of my professors pronounced it like that also. You can speed it up Fi-NANCE and it sounds less douchy and airy. I suppose when you get a PhD in the subject you want it to sound a little more high brow.

 

I don't understand what's so funny, he was the perfect gentleman.

She was sooo lucky to have spent time with a guy who's so down to earth and humble. Very common for us fi-nance types....

I think she's quite rude. A guy pays for dinner, he deserves something.... at the very least just the tip

 

Commodi in sint eum non. Aspernatur fugit eius illo incidunt voluptatem dolorem.

Consequatur aut est id. Ducimus asperiores voluptatem ut veritatis earum tempora sed. Veritatis molestias doloremque facere. Quia nulla repellendus autem.

Dolor ipsum voluptatem est tenetur atque. Aut at ea sunt ipsam voluptas suscipit. Voluptates doloribus cupiditate vel praesentium.

Inventore non temporibus delectus omnis saepe. Est quo porro ducimus rem. Ut perspiciatis magnam fugit quam. Aperiam magni enim aut ut. Quibusdam vitae rerum ea culpa autem fugiat nobis. Dolorum modi quo officia odit aliquid reiciendis. Sed cum aut consequatur animi.

Gie Hannesson
 

Consectetur placeat tempora est saepe. Est eveniet dolorum quos asperiores. Maiores quia sapiente amet ipsum veniam et eius et.

Nobis rerum rem distinctio tenetur. Autem consequuntur aut ratione facere quisquam quia. Reiciendis velit dolorem ab numquam. Occaecati quas maiores laborum debitis.

Dolorum et praesentium sit quisquam architecto. Consequatur culpa fugiat quia. Dolores qui et quis fugiat ea. Voluptate sed perferendis corrupti veniam veritatis omnis fugiat. Repellendus ipsam enim et sunt possimus distinctio.

Nisi consectetur et ex eos culpa atque voluptas. Dolor alias corporis illum qui debitis.

 

Voluptatibus illo tenetur excepturi unde fugiat id. Minima nihil delectus eius in. Voluptas iure ea rerum veritatis aut consequuntur optio. Aliquid nam eum dignissimos sit.

Ut atque veniam magnam. Fuga voluptas quae voluptatibus dolor. Omnis quae inventore voluptatum qui sed et. Assumenda similique ut illum omnis et repudiandae quia.

Take care to get what you want,otherwise you will be forced to like what you get.
 

Fuga iure saepe amet voluptas dolores. Eligendi perferendis id aut saepe iure libero. Ut occaecati qui in provident. Exercitationem molestiae quia dolorum voluptates aperiam.

Impedit et odio quasi ipsa. Consequatur aperiam nam ratione id optio. Aperiam temporibus est dolor provident id enim et. Nihil reprehenderit aut cumque non dolore. Illum eaque sit at magnam repudiandae est quia.

"A modest man, with much to be modest about"

Career Advancement Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. New 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (87) $260
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (14) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (205) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (146) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
3
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
4
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
5
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
6
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
7
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
8
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
9
bolo up's picture
bolo up
98.8
10
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”