How to become that kind of person?

Been in the industry a few years, every now and then, you meet someone who’s both smart and incredibly good to people. Some people have high eq but are political,  while others are good at their job/ good people and good to people.


In an industry with so many a-holes, so much stress, volatility and pressure, how do you become someone who is good at their job and a hold person?


Thanks 

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That, or have something/someone to look forward to seeing when you go home everyday. Most successful people aren't miserable because of work stress, they're miserable because they don't have anything outside of work to look forward to. 

 

+1 to this. My current manager on my project has a very social life it seems outside of work. She's awesome to work with and I don't mind going the extra mile for her when asked.

She's also protected me against a toxic situation with a partner earlier in my career (that may have saved me from a formal PIP, with her help - the situation disappeared right before a review cycle and my relationship with that partner drastically got better). I think some of that stems from some toxic interactions she had with leadership over her ~2 decades in consulting. It's clear, she's made an effort not to replicate their leadership style.

 

To become someone who is both highly competent and genuinely good to people in a high-pressure industry, here are some actionable insights based on the most helpful WSO content:

  1. Develop Emotional Intelligence (EQ):

    • Pay attention to how you interact with others. Ask people how they are and genuinely listen for a few minutes. This builds social credit and fosters trust.
    • Avoid being political or manipulative. Instead, focus on building authentic relationships. People remember moments of candid emotion and kindness, even in professional settings.
  2. Master Your Craft:

    • Be excellent at your job. Take responsibility, manage tasks independently, and anticipate the needs of your team or manager.
    • Represent the firm well in all settings—whether with clients, on calls, or even socially. Appearance and professionalism matter.
  3. Be a Team Player:

    • Help others succeed. Many senior professionals will go out of their way to support someone who has helped them.
    • Avoid being high-maintenance. Respect others' time, especially senior colleagues who often juggle complex personal and professional responsibilities.
  4. Maintain Integrity and Maturity:

    • Show maturity beyond your years. Avoid oversharing personal issues or treating colleagues as therapists.
    • Be reliable and consistent. If you can be trusted to deliver without drama, you’ll stand out in a positive way.
  5. Balance Empathy with Boundaries:

    • While being good to people, don’t let others take advantage of your kindness. Learn to say no when necessary, but do so respectfully.
    • Be mindful of the culture and reputation of those you work with. Life is too short to work for people who treat others poorly.
  6. Communicate Effectively:

    • In today’s industry, communication is key. If there’s a problem, address it constructively. The industry has become more open to dialogue and collaboration.
  7. Prioritize Self-Care:

    • Don’t neglect your personal life. Family, friends, and partners are important. A well-rounded life outside of work helps you stay grounded and empathetic.
    • If you’re persistently unhappy, consider finding a different role or path. There’s no reason to make yourself miserable.

By combining technical excellence with emotional intelligence, authenticity, and a focus on relationships, you can become the kind of person who thrives professionally while being genuinely good to others.

Sources: How to be a good employee, How to accept not being good enough?, Lessons Learned., Principles; What Are Your Main Governing Principles in Navigating Life and Your Career

I'm an AI bot trained on the most helpful WSO content across 17+ years.
 

The way I approach my job (and I've seen others I respect and personally like) can be summarized in just one phrase: Try to be as helpful as you can.

For me this manifests in a few ways:

  • I try and say yes to as many people as I can when they ask me for help, as long as I have the time to do it. If it's only 5-10mins, I'll let them know that's all I have, but I can take a stab at something. If I know the answer to where something is or how to do something, then I just take th 30-60secs it takes to reply every time. If it takes longer, I schedule it (time permitting).
  • I assume incompetence before malice. Meaning I give the benefit of the doubt to folks if something goes wrong.
  • I always offer to help out when I finish early. My philosophy on that is that if I can spend 45mins now to help you save 1h at 11pm, it's worth it. Again, unless I really do have pressing plans. I don't like finishing at 8pm and seeing my teammates have 3 more hours of work ahead of them.
  • When joining a new team, or talking to the client, I always frame it as "What do I need to do to be most helpful to you right now?" Because I think this is the best way to go about it vs. focusing on myself / my own preconception of what needs to be done or how. It's also a good approach when starting a new job or an internship in corporate.

I dont know if any of it makes me a good person to work with necessarily, I like to believe it does of course, but you'd have to ask others if that's the case. The reason for doing this is because others have helped me too over time and I dont believe that we're ever too busy to spare 5-10mins to help someone. Maybe not 10 times a day. but certainly once or twice. Also the line of thinking "Well, someone else will help them." is a slippery one, so I try not to succumb to it.

 

I think it’s pretty straightforward. You need to stop being a Sub-5 BTN Chud. Otherwise, the HTB-foids and the HTNs won’t respect you. Ascend.

Gua Sha 3 times a day. Derma roll before bed. Eat only red meat, eggs, and carbs. 300g of protein daily. Lift heavy 14 times a week. Arm stretches 5 times a day (widens your clavicle). Ceiling jumps - 5 sets of 10 per day in the morning (basic laws of evolution- the more you try to jump for and/or reach something - the taller you will grow to adapt). Chin smashes - 3 sets of 15 before bed (smash your chin into the wall repeatedly- builds stronger jaw muscles and bones).

Day in the life of an investment banker videos - you have to make some of these. Otherwise, people won’t know that YOU are THAT kind of person. As always - don’t actually do anything in these videos that’s important. People should walk away from these videos with 0 clue of what it is that you actually do.

Create a solid 5-9 before your 9-5. And of course, don’t forget to create an even more solid 5-9 AFTER your 9-5. Ask women on dating apps unhinged questions. Remember, they’re all evil and out to get you. They’ve cheated on you before you’ve even matched with them. In person, you have to maintain a calmer, nonchalant facade - so approach them at places like the gym or in the office and simply ask “May I meet you?”

Once you’ve mastered these habits - you’ll ascend to an Alpha Chadsworth HTN-5. Once you’ve reached this level, start selling an online course about how to ascend and how to become that kind of person.

 

"They’ve cheated on you before you’ve even matched with them."

This is gold. Where did you get this

 

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