Crypto Bros Get Owned

Step 1, get great Crypto Idea from the Twitter-verse. Make sure the coin has a high-tech name like "CumInMyAssCoin"

Img 1

Step 2, do some basic fundamental analysis on the strength of the coin and set a price target. In this case, the thesis is "It's going to 30x bro, trust me, the APY is just so high bro"

img 2

Step 3, establish a catalyst that will give you some positive price action. Share with your Bros on WSO so they can "ape" in with you and get ultra rich on this new paradigm

img 3

step 4, watch the profits roll in and celebrate with your bros. Sometimes the price goes down, but it's all good. Just be sure to sell before the price goes down and you're all good.

img 4

Comments (63)

  • Anonymous Monkey's picture
  • Anonymous Monkey
  • Rank: Chimp
1y 
Anonymous Monkey, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Step 2.5: make up some technical sounding nonsense about your coin to attract the VC/startup bros.  IE: CumInMyAssCoin uses the state of the art semen protocol for extremely fast and reliable transactions over the fuck network

  • Anonymous Monkey's picture
  • Anonymous Monkey
  • Rank: Chimp
1y 
Anonymous Monkey, what's your opinion? Comment below:

-

  • 4
  • Prospect in RE - Comm
1y 
[Comment removed by mod team]
  • Analyst 2 in IB-M&A
1y 

Don't know about OP, but I actually personal kneel down and offer a person a blowjob if they say their a crypto investor. I may not have their intelligence or work ethic or their ability to ascend humanity, but at least I can suck the dick of the gods of the "New World Order".

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
1y 

Funny how you ignore that he also told everyone about TIME way before the hype and you have made almost 2x in just two weeks. FTM was also given that went 5x the last few months. People on this forum will do anything to convince themselves that they're not missing out. I used to be like this too ngl I was miserable before. Anyway to all those who wanna sling MS that's fine you're ngmi, enjoy the office bright and early on Monday.

FYI for any one that actually understands: 3AC and whales have just DCA'd down. You're getting a higher APY now on rebases. Wasn't a rug just a failed breach on the MEV side of AVAX. It's DeFi at the end of the day things are experimental but everyone will be back in profit in a month. Find it interesting how desperate some are to try and prove against crypto or any alternative to having back surgery in your 30s from slaving away 16 hours a day. 

1y 
InvestmentSpanker, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Source for Whales "DCAing" (not how you use that term btw) down?

I will screenshot this in a month and we will circle back to it again :)

1y 
Kevin25, what's your opinion? Comment below:

his post was a week ago. since then TIME is down 8%, FTM is down 8%, SB is down 80%.

I know you're a scam bot, but I'll still ask you this: where do you think APY come from?

1y 
Kevin25, what's your opinion? Comment below:

yep. and I bet it's just a paid bot who has nothing to do with IB. they infiltrate all sorts of forums and social media. and WSO is ideal because 1) you have young people with money here, 2) you can post anonymously and create an illusion of multiple people participating in a discussion, ask and answer your own questions with multiple accounts posting anonymously so nobody can trace (like when he pretended to have a dialog: -how can somebody invest in crypto? -just because you asked I'll tell you).

  • 4
  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
1y 

How many boomers use this forum holy shit. This is like having your brokerage account at vanguard hacked and then blaming apple because it's all the stock you held. Their private dex used for the buyback was front run by someone. That's the risk of DeFi. All technology have issues like that when first starting out. Has nothing to do with the project itself or it's validity. 

1y 
InvestmentSpanker, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Bro stop posting anonymously and pretending to be different people. So cringe

  • 3
  • 1
1y 
kuf135, what's your opinion? Comment below:

So I am a big fan of crypto and am in some of the projects you named here, but if you're not a troll or a shill why don't you go off anonymous and answer peoples' questions without insulting them? Honestly, calling people NPCs, boomers, and NGMI, doesn't do anything for broader crypto adoption. If you actually care about growing the crypto pie and mainstream adoption (which btw will benefit you a lot assuming you're as invested as you say you are), then having well laid out arguments and treating people w/ respect will get you a lot farther than constant name calling…

  • 2
  • Analyst 2 in PE - Other
1y 

The perpetual cycle of 'crypto bros' getting rugged on projects they're well aware are high-risk ponzis -- while traditional finance bros shit on cherrypicked, experimental projects in the space as a method of coping with the 100x+ returns they've missed out on -- continues.

1y 
Kevin25, what's your opinion? Comment below:

at least you changed the title this time - good bot

  • Analyst 2 in IB-M&A
1y 

Can we please do something about these pump-and-dump bot accounts? It's only a matter of time before someone follows this guy's advice and gets burned.

1y 
Legion42, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Yeah cause Wall Street cares so much about protecting investors. Ever heard of Goldman shorting subprime mortgages in the ABX index while they were telling their clients to buy? 

  • Anonymous Monkey's picture
  • Anonymous Monkey
  • Rank: Chimp
1y 
Anonymous Monkey, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Can we please ban anonymous accounts in the investing section?  It cleaned up many of the trolls from the off topic.

Right now we have Analyst 1 playing the

  • bad cop ("Find it interesting how desperate some are to try and prove against crypto or any alternative to having back surgery in your 30s from slaving away 16 hours a day. ")
  • good cop ("Either way no ones really losing money from this at the end of the day if they wait a month.")
  • tech expert("Their private dex used for the buyback was front run by someone. That's the risk of DeFi. All technology have issues like that when first starting out. Has nothing to do with the project itself or it's validity.")
  • uninformed bystander ("I didn't own this and am not sure if I'm following right. But I'm pretty sure SB acts a bit like a bond."
Most Helpful
1y 
DeltaDecay, what's your opinion? Comment below:

If you get rug pulled on a crypto project then that's because of shoddy research. If you actually do you research not only on the Market Cap + twitter followers but also on the team, their tech, the project, tokenomics, road maps, how they have stuck to their road maps and as well as go through their documentation thoroughly the chances of getting rug pulled is basically nil. 

Also just because a project is audited by Certik or Reg Doctor does not mean that they are safe. may be you wont get hit by a hard rug pull but soft rug pulls are a definite possibility. This is especially true of Defi projects in the farm yielding space. No you will not get 32000% APR on a project that is safe. Such a high rate literally means you will lose your money given the risk is super high. Its better to use known liquidity pool providers for solid projects to go yield farming (eg Harmony on Sushi Swap 4 months ago).

However, the flipside to all this is, if you're remotely interested in cryptro and willing to do the grunt work (takes about 1-2 weeks to research a project depending on your level of technical knowledge) you can find hidden gems.

1y 
2rigged2fail, what's your opinion? Comment below:

ok do share your current buys, I will get in and if they moon will send you 5% of the value back. 

1y 
MacroJunkie, what's your opinion? Comment below:

There's your crypto risk premium. Trying to cut through all the hysterics, I still think risk/reward of intelligently placed crypto bets outweighs putting your money in the S&P 500. No one is pretending that crypto is risk free, but to anyone wondering why it's possible to make 10-100x on any given coin, it's because its absolutely incredibly fucking risky (wallet hacks, protocol hacks/exploit, outright scams/rugs, regulation, etc.). The existence of these things and the perceived difficulty of engaging on-chain is why these potential returns exist.

It's just mark-to-market VC investing for retail IMO. 50% of your bets will go to 0, 40% might 2x, and 10% might 10x (or higher) - giving you a +EV outcome even if you get hit by scams/hacks. Like all investing, portfolio allocation and emotion management is key.

  • Associate 1 in ER
1y 

God I swear this is all a bunch of BULLSHIT

1y 
iggs99988, what's your opinion? Comment below:

If you hear the word "project" or any of the other common buzzwords/jargon, you should be comfortable with the prospect of complete loss of capital .... and if you're not comfortable just run. Nothing wrong with a little gambling, but c'mon folks. Projects? This stuff is literally sitting down at a craps table and rolling the dice. Anyone who pretends it's not is either a charlatan or trying to scam you. Pretty simple stuff. 

9mo 
laojuntasa, what's your opinion? Comment below:

The statistics are reversed. There are a thousand unsuccessful crypto projects and only 40+ ones that are actually worth something. A lot of newer crypto is a waste of time now. Really, we're past the stage of introducing new assets and into the stage of focusing on improvement of existing systems.

  • PM in HF - EquityHedge
7mo 

Eos alias alias beatae magni iusto quam. Ad ipsum doloremque eos laborum dolorem. Nostrum quaerat dolorum quo. Laborum neque modi est eos numquam id quos. Qui atque maiores occaecati laborum.

Possimus ab autem quaerat dolore ipsam voluptatum consectetur quaerat. Quae accusantium quae et porro in autem asperiores. Odio vel quae doloremque sit expedita distinctio natus aut.

7mo 
coin_123, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Animi voluptate veniam quo quas commodi officia incidunt. Qui est asperiores totam impedit ipsam in. Voluptatum autem id omnis asperiores. Provident assumenda qui deserunt in.

Et iure dolore vitae nesciunt exercitationem amet reprehenderit earum. Reprehenderit magni numquam voluptatem corporis aut et.

In at quaerat ut est nihil qui aliquam error. Aliquid assumenda architecto quisquam aperiam eius totam cum. Culpa ducimus odio in perspiciatis laborum architecto amet. Itaque consequatur aut adipisci a.

6mo 
Pizz, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Minima dignissimos sunt eos expedita quo harum. Eum omnis debitis quae ut. Qui tenetur fugiat neque enim corporis quia qui. Ab perspiciatis natus quas. Suscipit et pariatur dolore ab excepturi ullam omnis. Vel perspiciatis tempore sapiente rerum sint. Et porro explicabo fuga in non dolore.

Qui et impedit est et quia. Ea optio corporis quia voluptas non et recusandae. Reprehenderit error exercitationem nostrum rerum. Animi assumenda aliquid velit doloribus est.

Quae qui enim officia ducimus occaecati enim tenetur itaque. Veniam similique repudiandae veniam dolores est officiis cupiditate. Ullam enim officia saepe ut voluptatum esse.

Start Discussion

Career Advancement Opportunities

January 2023 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres (+ +) 99.5%
  • Jefferies & Company (▽01) 99.1%
  • Lincoln International (▽01) 98.6%
  • Financial Technology Partners (▽01) 98.1%
  • William Blair (▲08) 97.7%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

January 2023 Investment Banking

  • Canaccord Genuity (▲04) 99.5%
  • William Blair (▲04) 99.0%
  • Lincoln International (▲09) 98.6%
  • Jefferies & Company (▲06) 98.1%
  • Financial Technology Partners (▲09) 97.6%

Professional Growth Opportunities

January 2023 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres (▲15) 99.5%
  • Financial Technology Partners (▲09) 99.1%
  • Lincoln International (= =) 98.6%
  • Jefferies & Company (▽03) 98.1%
  • William Blair (▲01) 97.7%

Total Avg Compensation

January 2023 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (6) $592
  • Vice President (24) $418
  • Associates (136) $262
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (9) $194
  • 2nd Year Analyst (80) $172
  • 1st Year Analyst (257) $171
  • Intern/Summer Associate (42) $166
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (185) $91