As some of you who have seen my previous posts know, I was looking for a new job after I realized that my current gig (small fund) wasn't working out. I finally found another job and tendered my resignation to my PM / boss this week. During our discussions, unsurprisingly, I was peppered with a slew of personal insults, which included the following:
"you've used my firm as a stepping stone" to get to something better - which isn't true as I initially joined hoping to help him build a bigger biz over time, but unfortunately our dynamic didn't work out and I believed he was trying to sabotage my growth, so I had to leave.
"you know nothing about investing and don't have any skills" - which is untrue and what I see is nothing more than a personal attack.
"you will also find you that you have no investment sense wherever you go" - which is again a personal attack and basically a form of "wishing you back luck"
"you should be thanking me for bringing you out of the shithole firm you were at before, is this how you repay me?"
I tried to reason as politely as I possibly could with him during our final discussion but he couldn't help lowering the tone to a slew of personal insults, disguised as "this isn't an insult, it's the truth" - like he would know what the truth is. His fund has underperformed since inception and he was taking his anger out on me.
I'm glad that I am out of this place, but how would you guys handle an unprofessional and petty boss like this one? Obviously I won't be asking him for any references in the future but just wondering if anyone has run into something like this? Over the past 1 year, half of his small team has quit because of the terrible, abrasive, and unprofessional way he has treated people.
One thing - I do have these conversations recorded on my phone, as I knew he would be particularly abrasive and I wanted to protect myself in case I would ever needed evidence of his abusive tactics in the future.
I don't want to burn bridges in this industry but seems like things like this are inevitable. You can read prior posts by me and see that I've literally done everything I have to leave in a graceful / professional manner, but the way he treated me as I headed out made my blood boil.
Has anyone ever dealt with something similar to this? Petty/abusive/angry/unprofessional boss upon resignation who tries to get a few more insults in to appease his fragile ego?
.
Yes, I've dealt with this exact situation. I actually laughed because it felt like your account was me looking in a mirror.
The number 1. "You've used my firm as a stepping stone" was said to me, as was number 4. though in nicer words; "I gave you a shot on the buy-side and this is how you repay me?". I also got "You planned this", "I need a 3 months notice", "You took advantage of me", "You're selfish", and a whole slew of ridiculous comments that spanned me being unethical, to me being an "average" investment analyst (even though I generated our ~$50M fund ~$10M in profits).
Like yourself, I tried to be polite, but I ended up pushing back against the PM--and told him point blank that his remarks were unprofessional, inappropriate, and unwarranted. I explained to him that I need to do what's best for my career (I had previously asked him for a step up in compensation, but he declined), and that while I regret things playing out in the manner that they had, it is what it is. When he started to bitch again, I stepped up my tone to an even greater degree, and he backed down; I have limits to what I'm willing to tolerate, and at the end of the day, no one deserves to be spoken to in a demeaning manner.
Your PM is just pissed that he's losing a money-making asset, as was mine. In both cases, your PM and my former PM are children--and children will cry, pout, and throw tantrums. It's simply in their nature, so don't take it personally.
Your best bet is to just move on; you did what you could to end the relationship amicably. On my last day, my PM tried to save face and tell me how he wishes me luck, how he enjoyed working with me, and that we should stay in touch, but I saw right through this; my PM simply wants to stay in touch so that he can try to utilize me for investment ideas at my new fund. While I agreed to grabbing coffee at a later point, while playing it off like I'm completely naive, I have no incentive/intention of keeping in touch with my former PM given his attitude/behavior. I agree; the industry is small and it's always good not to burn bridges, but I don't think this rule is applicable to toxic people who have no positive impact/value-add on your life.
Karma often comes around full circle, and I think it will for your PM (and mine) in this case. Just let it be and enjoy your new time off.