Is Buy-Side Jestermaxxing?
Hey Monkeys!
I fear buy-side may be full of jesters. Would love some advice/feedback.
Exhibit 1: spending all day evaluating someone else’s business is beta (not in the market correlation way, but in the get a life way)
Exhibit 2: lots of great investors are autistic (and not in the cool schizophrenic way)
Exhibit 3: Patrick Bateman was on the sell-side (more evidence that all the cool autism isn’t on the buy-side)
Exhibit 4: all that work just to underperform the S&P and contribute nothing to the advancement of civilization
Exhibit 5: brutally returns-mogged by Renaissance Technologies and other quant shops
At this point, you may be wondering what fields are high-t (high-testosterone). I have compiled an exhaustive list of finance positions below that have above average testosterone:
-Public company CFO
-FBI White Collar Crime Division
-Hedge Fund (but only if it’s a Ponzi scheme and you’re in on it)
Did I miss any? Genuinely concerned.
Missing WF Anchorage teller position
FBI is not even close to high test. You’re spending your days chasing another man who makes more money than you.
Damn that’s low key a good point…
I call em fun coupons
Missing the team in charge of UBS meal stipend
what team ....
Please add Chattanooga IB Apprentice
clav get off wso bro
Drug dealer is pretty high test
MCA Broker/Life Insurance Sales
CIA agent has to be max t
But repeated cortisol spikes
Sending 47 cruise missiles to kill one janitor is a true Adam shit
Forgot Magician’s Assistant (Penn & teller tier)
As much as this is jokes, I definitely see some truth to it.
As a buyside analyst, this spiked my cortisol like crazy.
Congratulations on UBS!
Not quite. It’s jestermaxxing - but not if you’re Alpha Maxxing. What’s more Alpha than Alpha? If you Alphamaxx successfully in your career- you elevate your self from LTN to MTN. Without even having to Gua Sha or claviclemaxx.
Nah bro you got it backwards. Spending all your time chasing +1% risk adjusted returns is for losers. And don’t even get me started on “hedging out risk” (higher testosterone people enjoy taking risks). I put all my money in high beta ETFs, pure market correlated returns. My portfolio is like a surfer, and the market is one big wave.
Yo honestly- you’re right bro. I’m just copemaxxing because our hedgemaxxing strategies got outperformed by the S&P (again).
Non MBB consultant is as high test as it gets
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