2024 IB/PE STORIES THREAD
Has been a long time since I’ve seen one of these threads on this site. Would be awesome to get some funny / crazy / interesting stories from peoples’ experience in banking / PE.
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Career Resources
When I was interning, a college student spammed a cringy networking email to everyone on the floor simultaneously. Everybody gathered around one desk and started roasting the shit out of their resume. It was crazy to see it in real life.
Working there will be a blast for you full time
.
My biggest fear 💀
Please do give more color to the email content 😂
Bumping this, these threads are some of the best off-topics.
We had a team make like 3 complicated pages that a VP really wanted, they spent 3 days with 2 all nighters grinding on these pages for the VP. Then immediately when the MD sees the pages he puts big red X’s on the pages to kill them and immediately moves on. Unreal inefficiency
the source of all evil and calamity in the world is mid-level employees who aimlessly try to impress the seniors by inventing random tasks for the juniors
Had another one that made us re print books on Friday at like 6:30 to re-align a logo and would keep saying “never a dull moment in banking”. Whole damn day was one long ass dull moment.
I was creating a pitch deck and VP wanted us to add his bio slide with the other seniors along with some final MD comments. Went through a couple turns of it and he didn't want us to send out until he could get an updated headshot, which was annoying because we needed to send to MD for printing approval.
Ultimately once we updated, we sent to the MD whose only edits were a big X on the VP's bio slide. The delay resulted in me having to Uber to JFK to meet the MD with the printed decks.
VP was actually a super nice guy, so I actually felt bad for him on that.
We were working to sell a large tech company on the west coast. During a meeting it was revealed the CFO didn’t know what a cash flow statement was.
The deal crumbled for many reasons but that was always an inflection point for me. The CFO still works there.
Two analysts in same office realised they'd been seeing the same girl but one of them had banged her on the partners desk, I think he won.
How does this kind of shit even happen? Wild
Anything is possible if you're a lying ass consulting dweeb
Lol okay consultant...
Two interns making out on the floor, wild
Saw a kid get fired on his first day for spamming Andrew Tate & hustlers university in the teams chat on the global induction call with the head of the division. I think they actually weren’t going to fire him but when he was confronted by HR about it he didn’t seem apologetic at all.
That’s insane. Which bank lol
Was at a B4 M&A group lol.
This dumb fuck in Toronto added every single banker on the street. Shitty non target bucket shop analyst. Cold emailed literally the entire street with his resume. What made this wrong was that his resume was the WSO format with the entire exemplar “interest section” identical the WSO section…
now is a top bucket at bmo nyc!
Early morning coming in and seeing an MD’s secretary leaving the print room adjusting her clothes followed by the MD wearing his boxers. Didn’t need to see that fs.
Are you serious? That’s crazy
Following
Bob Greenhill was obviously one of the great bankers, and they had people of similar calibre in London so as long as the rainmakers were around, they could attract top talent around them and do big deals. When the key people got old, they made a few strategic blunders:
1. Hired good execution people but not the real hitters in the way Evercore did
2. were M&A generalists vs sector specialists in the way Evercore and Cebterview built real sector depth
3. focused on strategicas vs sponsors when the fee wallet was tillting largely to sponsors
4. Cozy collegial culture with insufficient focus on individual productivity
when they interviewed me about five years ago, it was like going back in time to a world that no longer existed.
This was meant for the Greenhill thread haha
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