Any I-Bankers Married / Have Girlfriends?

yes, they do. a lot of them have wives and kids or long-term stable girlfriends who understand and can put up with what the job demands. this understanding provides great spiritual support for the bankers.

don't do i-banking if you don't have this kind of moral support...

I have a girlfriend of 5 years and will be starting with ML this summer. I'm a bit nervous as to how the transition will go, but am certain that things will work out okay.

Last summer, most of the first and second year analaysts had some sort of girlfriend or boyfriend of different levels of seriousness.

It can most certainly be done, just takes a bit extra work.

i would think it will be close to the military, it makes or breaks a relationship. if its a healthy, mature, relationship that is supportive, it will make it stronger in the long run. however, if its not meant to be it wont last. it could still squeak by in many other occupations, but when you put it under that much strain, it will speed up the process for sure.

Yep. I got a fiance -- he's got to be the world's most supportive, mature, understanding guy. He takes care of the household and my clothes, keeps me sane, calms me down when I need it, doesn't complain, and works 50 hours a week at his own job.

Needless to say, he and I make decisions about the bonus money together. It's not my money, it's ours.

From the ghetto....

Nope. He asks me for maybe $300 of fun stuff per year, and that's usually for Christmas. If he was in it for the goodies, then it would actually be easier for him to go earn the money himself than to pick up after me all year long.

I'd say he's definitely not a golddigger.

You'd better have a broad holding you down when you enter banking, cause it's gonna be hard to play the field for those 2 years.

Well, yeah. If you don't go in with a good mate, it's going to be pretty much you and your hand for a few years. So many first-years break up in the first six months.

How about bankers who aren't in relationships when they start the business? Can solid, enduring relationships be found later? I hope so!

How the hell are you gonna find the time to date when you're spending 110 hrs a week at the office ?

That's uncalled for man, jewish chicks are some of the most caring, affectionate girls out there.

Yep. And I've got a Jewish guy friend who tells me that in his experience, Jewish girls are not only more affectionate but have more emotional needs than shiks.

Can't say whether that's true or not, obviously, but it is one guy's opinion.

I love broads that are high maintenance, it gets too boring otherwise.

Let's stop exaggerating.

I think it's possible for bankers to have solid relationships. Managing expectations is key.

Yep. The key to success is having zero surprises. My man never expects me to be home. Ever. So whenever I do come home, whether it's 11 PM or 4 AM, it's a nice surprise for him.

Unless he's sleeping and has to wake up to bring me a robe and fix me a drink and talk to me to get me chilled out and ready to sleep. Then it's not such a great surprise. But still, he knows what to expect.

jealous of the Jews, sorry to hear that sleepy. But don't fret, I'm sure your racism will get you far in life, especially banking! got to give it to the kid, he's a winner!

"Unless he's sleeping and has to wake up to bring me a robe and fix me a drink and talk to me to get me chilled out and ready to sleep."

You know what, I tried my best to not say anything but....

Is he your bf or a manservant you've employed ? Jesus F Christ, you talk about this guy like he's a doormat, he sounds whipped if you ask me.

does sound like a total man bitch. but he eats and fucks for free... not a bad deal

lol @ man bitch

Those paragraphs brought a tear to my eye Mis Ind. You're right I guess, it's not too bitchmade to cook, clean and do a wash for a woman who loves you.

All I know is that I couldn't do it, it's beneath me.

Right. Well, then I guess you're going to go and be an associate's bitch for a few years. The hard truth of life is that you're always somebody's bitch. It's just a matter of how hard they make it for you.

As for my fiance, he's sitting at home on a $4,000 black leather sofa he picked out, in a $750,000 apartment in lower Manhattan with a 180-degree view of the river and the Statue of Liberty, playing video games, ordering whatever he wants for dinner, working a nice mild workweek, drinking expensive wine and brandy, partying with his boys in Philly and Chicago on the weekends, and providing sexual services on demand. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it. I'll make sure to let him know that some college kid named Seanc thinks he's a manbitch. His answer will be a slow grin and a "Yep."

To each his/her own I guess, some Men are just different. As for me, I'd rather die than live a life where I'm not the primary breadwinner in my own family.

You need to relax though Mis Ind, I don't wanna push your buttons any more than I have to, I'd rather get you off than set you off ;)

I'm quite relaxed, my friend. As for my fiance... well, he's never needed to be a primary breadwinner. I think he's quite comfortable with himself and his capacities.

I've never understood the whole calling a guy with a girlfriend that he actually does things for whipped. I've only ever heard that come from guys who don't have a girlfriend. Like my gf is studying for the MCAT which she has in a month. So, to be a good bf and help her out as much as possible, I do groceries, laundry, dishes, help clean up her room, etc. Does that make me whipped? If so, then I guess I am whipped, and happy to be. Because in the end, a real relationship won't work if you can't make sacrifices for your significant other.

Marry another IB

Piggybacking on Fraser's point: it's also a matter of being long-sighted. If his girlfriend does well on her MCATs, then she's in a better position to do well in life. Assuming they get married, then he's now marrying a woman who's more successful and more capable. This is to his benefit.

I can't imagine being with a man who's so enchanted with his Real Manhood that he thinks he doesn't have to do anything for me or help me in any way when I'm working 130s and 140s to succeed for us as a couple. Give me a couple of weeks of taking out the trash and doing my laundry at 4 AM while the lazy slob sleeps peacefully for seven hours a night and I'll kick him to the curb, step over him, and find someone willing to be part of a real give-and-take relationship. Banking is brutal and the lives of young bankers are miserable. In a marriage that involves a young investment banker, there is no room for a freeloader or for someone who thinks they're too good to work.

mis ind, your man is cheating on you lol. good luck with ur career though

women = dumb

Plus her boyfriend is probably busy getting laid while she's at work, so hes unable to talk.

Dan, do you know what a "turn" is? You clearly haven't worked in the industry.

Actually, I pretty much only read this thing or post on it when I'm at work. When I'm at home, I have so many better options available to me -- like sleep, sex, booze, friends, exercise, and video games, in that order. I think it would take a pretty lame person to post on this from home when they could be out having a real life.

Also, little confession here: I often use this website to delay my turns and slow down my work. Sometimes working fast is good. But sometimes you're working with an MD that will turn the fricking book until the meeting, no matter what. So today is Wednesday; let's say the meeting is Monday. I know if I bust ass, stress out, and do everything I'm supposed to do when I'm supposed to do it, there will be seven turns by Monday. If, on the other hand, I dick around, post a little on this site, read a little CNN, and toy with my 401(k) portfolio, there will only be four turns. I know I'm not going to get much sleep between now and Monday anyway, so why not just take it easy and slow things down a bit?

That's just the way this business works. Some real analysts on this board will understand what I'm talking about.

Mis Ind - your man does sound incredibly 'ideal' - is he a 'freshie' from India glad to be in the US and have you told him you will take his green card away from him if he misbehaves? (please take this as the joke it is meant to be - no offence intended)

Continuing on that theme (context: I am Pakistani born in UK etc etc) - I have seriously contemplated getting a girl from the village in Pakistan (arranged marriage) - this type of woman would be, by nature, submissive and just go with the situation, however demanding (she would have been brought up in a culture where her expectations in terms of affection/TLC etc are low and she would have been told she has to always obey her husband etc etc) - now, I am no sexist, but wonder how well that would fit in with banking.....

Secondly - Jewish girls are all high maintenance? In my quest for world peace and harmony I wouldn't mind hooking up with a Jewish girl.

From the ghetto....

I can't call my friends and family; everyone on the floor can hear everyone else's phone conversations. I email them from my personal Blackberry, though, and that's one of my more enjoyable activities even though typing into a Blackberry isn't my favorite thing to do.

I can't email them from my computer, of course, no gmail or any other external mail system at work... and no way in hell am I emailing them through my actual work account; every email is subject to being read by Compliance and/or my staffer.

Perhaps my fiance IS out getting laid, but I doubt it. If he was getting some extra action, he'd have some juicy stories to tell, and he'd be angling to introduce me to his new friend(s) to see if there was chemistry. Also, even if I couldn't join in for reasons related to my work hours or her personal preferences, he'd be coming to me for advice with clothes, date spots, et cetera... and he'd let me know when he was going out so that I wouldn't come home unexpectedly to an empty house.

So, I think the poor guy is probably making do with monogamy at the moment. I'm sure we'll dive back into la dolce in a couple of years when I'm working less.

salam, i rejected an offer from a BB in ops, whats ur point?

mis ind what race are you

Tier2, no, he's an American. But he came out of an Ivy League college with a degree in computer science (which is often not a smart use of an Ivy League school) in 2000. As I'm sure you imagine, his dream was to work at one of the hot new dot-coms and his initial stab at a career was horrifying and highly traumatic as the average salary dropped from $100k to under $50k while the number of jobs in the industry dropped by more than half within six months of his graduation. He was merely brilliant, not a super-genius, and so he was laid off with the rest of the dot-commers. He ended up waiting tables to pay off his sky-high student loans because of the glut of guys with CS degrees on the market. He lived from paycheck to paycheck, frequently working two menial jobs, until he and I got together and I helped him get a job at a hedge fund I knew about through my school. Now he's very happy that he's finally getting his shit together and willing to help me succeed so that together we can make a secure life for ourselves, our families, and our future kids. Having never been pampered or privileged, the guy's got no problems with domestic work. Moreover, I think he thinks it's more important for us to be a dominant couple than for him to be a dominant man.

Tier, I think the idea of you getting a traditional Pakistani wife may be a good one if that's what you want. More modern women may not understand that their emotional needs may take a back seat to your career for the first few years.

Sleepy, I'm visibly Caucasian but genetically Native American and Caucasian mixed.

Salam, the reason why I mentioned that is that Sleepy seemed so intent on hurting my feelings by saying that my fiance was sleeping around. It was just funny, that's all.

Sleepy, happens all the time. You get the wrong degree at the wrong time, you wait tables. I know Harvard PhD's who are waiting tables. I think everybody should wait tables at some point during their lives. It's good for you... and it teaches you to respect your waitstaff.

TMI in this thread

You can definately have one, but just be sure everyone is completely clear as to what to expect. Be ready to get into arguments about having to cancel weekend plans or whatever else. But it can be done, no doubt about it.

salam, of course I didn't network well, I basically didnt network. I plan on doing law, I was just seeking something to entertain the time between LS and UG and make some money. You be richer than me? I wouldn't say def, you go to a better UG, wow college lol. I don't care about being rich, simply making 500k/yr in a non-NYC city would be fine for me.