Being managed out by asshole associate - please help!
Hey - needing some advice urgently. I lateraled to a new team at a BB c.6 months ago and have built a strong relationship with my manager / wider team in that time. I just had my probation meeting where I was told my probation would be extended by a further 6 months because of feedback from the associate. The thing is, my manager told me everyone else gave positive feedback however this guy seems to really think I'm terrible at my job: "Lack of attention to detail, doesn't communicate enough, doesn't fully check work before sending" etc. I have never had negative feedback in my few years of experience at other firms and I have never not passed probation. This is highly distressing as I lateralled leaving behind a solid firm and role for what I thought would be a more chill and better WLB option only to now find myself receiving emails from this associate with my manager and MD in CC pointing out non-issues and framing it like I fucked up. A recent example includes an email pointing out that I have not uploaded minutes to our data room yet despite circulating them earlier in the day - I have a lot of projects going on and I typically do all 'house keeping' such as upload and such at the end of the day. Another example is that he says at the team meeting that he will call me to catch up on a project, only to then not call me at all for days at a time slowing everything down.
Basically I feel that my manager gave me another 6 months instead of just firing because maybe they realise this guy just has it in for me. Either way, I am pretty sure I am fucked given our team has 5 people total so this guy not liking me is a disaster. Any advice is very welcome as I have never dealt with such an asshole before - currently, I am documenting all of my work to bring to my manager in a cohesive list at our regular catch-ups to show I am performing despite this guy being on my tail turning every minor detail into an issue.
Good luck man
Based on the most helpful WSO content, here’s how you can navigate this situation effectively:
Document Everything: You're already on the right track by documenting your work. Continue to maintain a detailed log of your tasks, emails, and any feedback you receive. This will serve as evidence to counter any unfair claims and demonstrate your performance to your manager.
Proactive Communication: Address the feedback about communication by being overly proactive. For example:
Attention to Detail: Since "attention to detail" has been flagged, double-check all your work before submission. Even if the associate’s complaints seem minor, addressing them head-on will show that you’re taking feedback seriously.
Build Relationships: Strengthen your relationships with other team members and your manager. As noted in WSO threads, having allies in your corner can make a significant difference. If others see your value, it can counterbalance the associate’s negative feedback.
Address the Associate Directly (Tactfully): If you feel comfortable, consider having a respectful conversation with the associate. Acknowledge their feedback and ask for specific ways you can improve. This can sometimes disarm difficult colleagues and show that you’re open to collaboration.
Leverage Your Manager: Use your regular catch-ups with your manager to your advantage. Present your documented work and ask for constructive feedback. Frame the conversation around your desire to improve and contribute to the team’s success.
Engage the Staffer (if applicable): If your team has a staffer, you might consider tactfully discussing the situation with them. As highlighted in WSO threads, staffers can sometimes help adjust staffing dynamics if they see you’re being unfairly targeted.
Consider Your Long-Term Options: If the situation doesn’t improve, start networking discreetly and exploring other opportunities. As one WSO user noted, sometimes the best move is to position yourself for a better role elsewhere if the environment becomes toxic.
Stay Professional: Avoid retaliating or escalating the situation. Keep your focus on delivering high-quality work and maintaining a positive attitude. This will reflect well on you, even if the associate continues their behavior.
Mental Health Check: Dealing with a difficult colleague can be draining. Make sure to take care of yourself outside of work and lean on your support system when needed.
By taking these steps, you can demonstrate your professionalism and resilience, which will not only help in this role but also in your broader career.
Sources: My Associates Hate Me, How do you deal with "bad" associate?, How to deal with that associate??, The Work Always Gets Done, Associate Archetypes
You are 100% cooked unless they fire him. Just start recruiting. I'm speaking from experience.
How common is this shit? And how do I explain moving firms in less than 1 year. In theory I should last the full 1 year before the end of my second probation ahead of being cut. Is this likely?
Idk your situation, but the higher ups aren't going to keep both of you if you can't stop the drama. Again, speaking from experience. Eventually both of you will likely be let go.
Not to play devils advocate but why wouldn’t they just fire him during his probation instead of extending it if the feedback was so bad?
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To fire someone formally at a large bank, you need to show HR that performance management was implemented (i.e. written feedback over a period of time followed by a formal PIP).
Tough situation and IMO there is not much you can do. Extending probation is a really bad sign and them basically telling you to leave. When it comes down to these "he said, she said" situations, the more senior person almost always wins unless they did something unethical/illegal (and can be proven).
Have you tried asking if you can transfer to a different group in the same BB?
Last alternative would be talking to the Associate 1-on-1 and get his perspective. Be professional, diplomatic, and ask him directly.
In the meantime, it is best to try and avoid getting staffed with this Associate and avoid working with him if possible.
Why not just fire me though - what's the difference between extended probation or just being cut at the end of the first probation?
I have a really good relationship with one of the product teams at the BB. Staffer said they would be keen to take me on however there is no headcount at the moment. They said they will reach out when headcount appears again and that I am on the waitlist. Not sure if I will survive long enough to transfer internally.
Should I speak to my manager about transfering? I'm just worried that he will then realise I am trying to move away from the team in any way I can and then he will just can me.
The answer is simply former employee lawsuit prevention.
Saw your post and I wanted to let you know that your story is not unique — similar situation as you before, I decided to get out while I could. Completely toxic environment, with a psychopath-like boss who was insecure and felt threatened by an analyst.
Keep putting your head down and doing your work, but interview every single day / opportunity that you can. Once you’ve secured your next role, leave without any warning! People who want you to suffer do not know how much work you do, or the weight you pull - it’s only until you leave that they will realize it, and they will seek vengeance.
You’ll look back in 10 years and realize you made the right decision. For you. I’ve learned that I have not been able to forgive or forget about how this person has treated me, but I hope that I can one day.
Reassuring comment - thanks!
Unfortunately, plenty of a**holes like this in IB but they usually exist at the VP+ level. He just wants to see you suffer; jump ships and control the narrative.
If firing is imminent, go on mental health leave to the max allowed. Won’t be able to fire you then legally and use that time to recruit.
In these situations (which I've seen a lot of) there's often a tendency for the blamed junior to feel as though there's no point in trying to address the feedback and improve in those areas, because "what's the point when the guy has it out for me and will find something wrong no matter what."
I think that mentality is a huge mistake. Even if your associate is evil and 100% unaffected by the merits in evaluating you, he still could be forced to give you better reviews if you do well and everyone else likes you. He has his own reputation to think about, and he won't look good sticking out like a sore thumb as your only bad reviewer.
Then of course there's the high likelihood that he isn't 100% unaffected by the merits. More likely, he's just an idiot who doesn't realize that his feedback is unfair in the context of all the work you have to get done. He can still have his opinion swayed by you busting your ass and trying to address whatever he's complaining about, even if his complaints are unfair.
I think your game plan should be to make next week the best performance you've ever put in. Cancel plans, over-deliver on everything, and put in the best week you're capable of. You'll probably feel better right away, even though its a grind. That should take down your stress, and let you put in a couple more good weeks and then your team notices the effort and hopefully by month 2 or 3 there's no more questions about how your next 'probation meeting' goes.
First off, you are doing the right thing by building a relationship with your manager and documenting your progress. You should get into the habit of sharing weekly updates to your manager (and to your staffer) to talk about what you worked on, your challenges and how you solved them and your priority for next week. I suggest also doing a monthly meeting with your manager to talk about career progression, ask them how you can help them and seek feedback, coaching and appreciation.
Now as it relates to the associate, have you had a conversation with him to build a relationship? I think it's important (as frustrating as his behavior is) to understand where he is coming from and what makes him share that feedback. Maybe you can "enroll him" to help you improve on what he seems to see as negative. For example, "does not communicate enough", just say that it's important to you that you communicate in a way that is aligned to what he wants and simply ask him the frequency and the prefered way (email, phone etc).
While it does not justify his behavior, he may be exposed to a lot of pressure and that's his way to deal with it and then be harsh or unfair with you.
Could you share some more advice on how to approach my manager to get him on my side? We had an excellent relationship up until the associate shared his feedback and the manager told me he was extending my probation. Ever since, it feels like he went from being friendly and smiley, happy to chat etc, to just talking about work and for as little time as possible - we grabbed coffee and did speak more personally but again, it doesn't feel as warm or genuine as before. We have a bi-weekly catch up set up which I requested during the probation meeting and I want to try to re-build my relationship.
I have tried speaking to the associate and sorting things out but he refuses to build a relationship with me beyond work-related topics, and seems to default to a hostile stance with anything we speak about. Maybe this is pressure driven from his side but I really think there is no road to fixing his view of me.
It would be important for me to understand what you have done so far. However, the way you could approach the situation could be as follow.
Have a conversation with your manager to discuss the past 6 months and the next 6 monhts. I would start by stating the importance of this role for you, how you want to grow and how you have contributed to the team already since your manager told you that all but one person gave positive feedback (Come prepared with a list of accomplishments and things you have done where you met or exceed expectations.).
Then acknowledge that as you are learning, you are making mistakes but you want to learn from those mistakes because your goal is to continue to contribute even more. Then ask him what are the things that you are already doing well that you can continue to double down on - basically you are asking your manager to gives you appreciation for your work which shows him your value.
Then ask him to coach you on how you can improve to meet the associate's expectations. Listen to what they say, take note. If they give you a vague question, ask follow ups so that you are cristal clear about what you need to do. For example on the communication point - you need to be clear about the frequency of the communication (you touch base daily, every other day etc...). For not checking your work, ask if it's about formatting, grammer, content...
Once you have that coaching from your manager, take everything away and create an action plan for you and send it to him to see if they have anything to add. Then work every day while keeping this plan in mind. Schedule bi-weekly or monthly touch base with your manager to go over the plan and see how you are doing.
Have you had a conversation with the associate? That would be the next step. As hard as may be knowing what he said, detach yourself and don't see the guy as the ennemy. The problem is the situation where for some reason, there is a gap between what you do and what the associate expects - and this is solvable. I don't want this to be too formal so maybe ask him to get a coffee or a drink, get him talking about his experience, his goal, what he deals with every day... and then bring on the topic of wanting to support him and do a better job and that for some reason he does not see that. See what he says he needs - again understand with clear details where you fall short or give the impression of falling short. Again for communication, ask him what frequency and style he wants. On does not review the work, ask what was the issue, grammar, format, something else? And ask for his advice on how you can do it better but implement his advice. To review my work for example, I suggested to my juniors to print and review everything on paper because things are more visible. When I give people comments and they miss them, I tell them to highlight the changes as they make them. These are easy things you can do. Then keep a cadence of touch base with the associate. After every pitch ask him how you did compared to before.
Hope this helps!
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