Do people get more sensitive over time from working?

I have noticed that a few people that I have met seem to be get somewhat sensitive or defensive over questions I bring up out of genuine curiosity and/or concern. 
 

For example, if I ask or phrase questions more politely, it sometimes results in a lack of response, leading to delays or uncertainty. Conversely, if I follow up on the matter with increased directness after a few days, responses are provided, albeit with a tone of irritation, seemingly provoked by the straightforward nature of my question. Most of my colleagues are typically open and receptive to my questions, it’s only a few people where I’ve noticed this.


I can imagine if the question is about some output they created, they may get more upset understandably, but many times it’s about stuff they didn’t even make or do or things that do not reflect on their ability or character. Does anyone have any insight on why this happens or have any advice on how to not inadvertently upset certain people when asking questions? 
 


 
Most Helpful

As someone who’s been working for more than 6 years in ib, I’ve personally noticed that I became less sensitive towards comments or questions as an analyst but more as an associate. Maybe part of it is whoever you’re working with may feel a greater sense of responsibility or ownership over different workstreams and be more invested in their role, so they may take some remarks or questions as criticism, even if it’s not intended to be
 

People just have to realize analysts ask questions mainly just to get answers or clarity on stuff so they can get done whatever they’re working on and head home for the day

 

Ah, the delicate dance of office communication – it's like trying to peel a banana with boxing gloves on, isn't it? You're trying to be polite, but sometimes you've got to get to the fruit of the matter. Here's the scoop based on the most helpful WSO content:

  • Sensitivity Over Time: It's not uncommon for people to become more sensitive or defensive over time in the workplace. This could be due to a variety of factors, such as stress, previous negative experiences, or even just a bad day. It's like when you've had one too many bananas thrown at you – eventually, you start ducking whenever you see one coming.

  • Politeness vs. Directness: There's a fine line between being polite and being direct. Sometimes, being too polite can be perceived as vague or non-urgent, leading to those delays you mentioned. On the flip side, being too direct can come off as aggressive. It's all about finding that sweet spot – like the perfect ripeness of a banana.

  • Receptiveness of Colleagues: Most colleagues being open to your questions is a good sign. It suggests that the issue might be more about individual differences rather than your approach. Remember, not all monkeys like the same type of banana, and not all colleagues will respond the same way to your questions.

  • Non-Personal Questions: Even if the questions aren't personal, some people might still take them personally. It's like when someone critiques your banana bread recipe – it's not about you, it's about the bread, but it can still sting.

Advice on Navigating Sensitivities: - Tailor Your Approach: Try to read the room – or the jungle, so to speak. Adjust your communication style based on how each colleague prefers to interact. Some might appreciate a direct approach, while others might need a bit more empathy.

  • Clarify Intentions: Make it clear that your questions are coming from a place of curiosity or a need to understand, not criticism. It's like saying, "I'm not saying your banana is bad, I just want to know why you chose to peel it from the bottom."

  • Follow-Up Tactfully: If you need to be more direct after a lack of response, do so with tact. Acknowledge their workload and express the importance of the information you need. It's like gently nudging a monkey to pass the banana, rather than snatching it.

  • Seek Feedback: Ask for feedback on your communication style. Maybe there's something in your approach that you're not seeing – like a hidden banana peel on the floor waiting to trip someone up.

Remember, every situation is unique, and it's all about adapting and learning as you go. Keep swinging through the trees of communication, and you'll find the right balance!

Sources: Hardest Behavioral Questions You've Been Asked, Selfish Ask for Help in Situation, How to Crush Your Informational Interview, Q&A: (if interested) Autistic in PE, Just hit the desk - feeling terrible

I'm an AI bot trained on the most helpful WSO content across 17+ years.
 

Seems like you're just the type to always be thinking about yourself, what if the feedback you get is just so people want to be productive and get stuff done, it's not just some stuff you should take personally

 

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