Don’t tell people you work in IB or PE

As the new year comes I think it’s important to share some thought to take into 2023.

The most important being that nobody cares that you work in IB or PE. Yes, I was that analyst that told everyone that I worked in IB, don’t be that guy. Why? Because nobody outside of IB or PE knows what you do or are they impressed by it.My grandma still think I’m a teller.

It’s like telling people you own a 997 gt3rs 4.0 instead of a 911, only car people know what it is and those that don’t have no idea what you’re talking about or are they impressed.

Yes I think it’s impressive that you work at Moelis in the RX group. The girl sitting next to you at the bar doesn’t even know what you’re talking about.

So let’s all agree in 2023 to let our egos subside a little.

 

I told someone that and they thought that I worked in the DEI sector — that is, research that pertained to racial equity/social justice.

 

In my personal life, I prefer not to socially mix with people who immediately ask what I do for work upon meeting. Tends to be big law & banking types. You come off like a tool and I tend to walk away from these conversations. If I'm in networking mode (which is frequently) or its a work-related function then disregard.

I prefer to hangout with successful people who enjoy pursuing interesting, unique goals in their personal time. Doesn't really matter what they do for a living, just as long as we share a common interest of constantly pushing oneself and treating the body well.

 

Drop-top Porsches, I'm so used to this Smoking out the pound, I'm so used to this I know where I'm from and I got used to this Mansion in the hills, I got used to this

 

Lambo come alive, man, I'm used to this No one looks surprised 'cause we used to this I'ma make sure that we get used to this

 

Bragging wasn't ever been associated with happiness or fulfillment, it only shows someone's need for validation. Social proof and validation may also be what motivates him to get and stay into a specific job. So to those who need to brag, don't only check your ego, you have more work to do than that, like checking your life's priorities to avoid bigger issues down the road such as an existential crisis or loosing yourself in the wrong career.

 

Yes, most people probs think CFO is the top top job in finance, like above IB MD (but then that's technically true so arrghhhhh!! No!). I don't think everyone knows who traders are, I'm scared they'll get conflated with WSB diamond hands retail traders and get associated with diamond hands and scamminess. After The Big Short more people know about quants too so that's not too bad. If you're a quant and people don't suck up your prestige, show them The Big Short to shut them up

 

I would say among the general population probably doctor is the most prestigious job followed by lawyer then engineer. Among more niche populations hedge fund manager, neurosurgeon, investment banker are probably the most prestigious. I personally think its way more impressive to be an engineer but again that's me

 

tbh when I was hitting some bars/clubs in NYC I would always try to keep it vague when talking to girls. "Oh yeah I do that finance thing" was my answer and never wanted to tell them what area of finance or what bank I worked at. Nine times out of 10 that just led to more aggressive questioning and one girl freaked the fuck out that I wouldn't tell her calling me dishonest and sketchy - true nightmare fuel. They'd ask what area of finance and what bank. I'd go - "It's one of the major banks they're all pretty much the same" - but they'd keep pressing to get the exact name. 

So potentially the solution is just lying and saying another profession, but then it doesn't make sense to the girl why you're always busy and cancelling plans, plus you lied to her the first time you met her so it's just digging a deeper hole. 

I also feel like there's increasingly some resentment toward "finance bros" (2008 vibes) because men who work in finance have been meme'd into oblivion for being dumb simple jocks who just "rise and grind". As soon as you say you work in finance you get placed into that meme box. 

What's the play here? 

 
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90% of the girls who describe themselves as "creatives" spend most of their time creating free content for Instagram (Meta); most don't even know that Meta owns Instagram; even fewer have ever really contemplated their place in that whole ecosystem. 

If a girl tries to dunk on you by playing the whole "lol me = cool creative; you = finance drone," feel free to remind her of her role in the de-stabilization and shittification of, well, everything. 

Be advised that the one time I did that, the girl got up from the table in a restaurant in the middle of dinner and stormed out the door crying. I'm not even kidding. 

If you like her, suck it up and keep silent and play the role of the finance drone. But keep that tidbit in your back pocket.

 

Just say you do quant shit and they won't question it because it sounds scary and smart. Then lead with whatever sport or hobbies you're into! hahaha, plus meme culture has literally destroyed the attraction to finance bros. When I talk to 30+ year old's they tell me how they thrown themselves at finance bros at young ages so to get free drinks and what not, but girls my age (mid 20s) seem to not be that into it and look at us like the worst people on planet earth, fuck it.

 

yeah 100% it's looked down upon now that litquidity has told everyone we just do powerpoints all day and are corporate cucks

you can't even play the "provider" angle because the hot girls get all their stuff paid for by bank of mommy/daddy - they don't care about your money 

it's hilarious some literal 4 came up to me in a bar super interested and asked me what I did - I said finance and she completely lost interest. If it's enough to drive away a 4 you're going to be missing out on anything 6-7+

 

So what do you say when people say “what do you do?” If I really want to disengage I say “I’m in mergers & acquisitions” usually throws people off. Usually I will say I’m in investment banking, some people know what it is, otherwise they just say “cool” so not really a big deal

 

Is it just me who doesn't see anything wrong with telling people what you do, if it comes up in conversation? Just don't be a dick about it...

"Oh so what is it that you do?"

"I'm an investment banker"

"Cool, what's that, do you like give loans to wealthy individuals or something? Can you advise me on if this stock is good haha"

"Oh well actually, my work is a bit different, I help companies raise capital. So what do you do?"

If anything, it's more pretentious to not be upfront with what you do. Makes finance seem like this shadowy mysterious world and that you're some sort of gatekeeper to it. Don't bring up what you do yourself (no one should do this, whatever their profession, it's gauche), but don't be so tip-toey around what you do either when asked. It's just a job, after all.

 

I agree.

Now I have a job in corp dev which is even more of a black hole so I just say I "help [insert company name] sell subsidiaries and buy other businesses" and most people are able to be like oh that makes sense. It is much more useful to describe a finance job in terms of function (ie - I sell mortgage bonds, I advise companies when they acquire other companies, etc) than going with what is basically the standard industry (ie - investment banking) plus the firm you work at. 

 

Last guy who did something like that ended up imploding his own school and getting everyone fired. Now he wants to kill himself but doesn't have the balls to do it lmao. Enjoy scrubbing floors in India douchebag

 

You could just say you are an "investor". Nice and simple. Doing this could let you bypass explaining what an investment banker or private equity is to the many people who have the wrong idea about what they are.

 

This. If somebody asks what I do, I say I work at an investment fund. If they follow up I describe the strategy ("we buy and sell companies in x sector across y geographies") and then if they really ask I'll say it's the private equity arm of z firm. I don't mind talking about it but would prefer not to lead. 

 

Nobody cares about what you do for work. Typically, people see investment banking as working long hours to trade stocks or something like that. When random people ask me what I do, I tell them banking and simply leave it at that, unless they are interested in hearing more, but in most instances, they are not. Only exciting when you start a new position as an intern/analyst or if you switch to a different team, but that excitement fades after a few months.

It's the same point of view you may have on your friend's role in (insert arbitrary field such as engineering, marketing, nutrition etc...) - you listen to them for a minute on high level detail, then zone out on anything after that.

 
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