How to Deal with Associate with ZERO Social Skills
As the title suggests, I work under an associate with zero social skills and it’s been quite jarring.
- resorts to calling out peoples mistakes in a group email rather than 1v1
- responds to emails not addressed to them (when team is cc’ed for awareness) w/o communicating with the original addressee
- constantly has surprise deadlines that they never communicated about
- resorts to passive aggression or running to VP to give feedback about analysts even though they ask directly and they say nothing
- doesn’t acknowledge anyone/ join the conversation when joining group dinners
This person is great at their individual work product but lacks a lot of social skills which makes for awkward encounters. Unfortunately I can’t get staffed with someone else. What should I do?
I've had this exact same experience. I don't have a great answer but I can tell you what I tried to do, and with the benefit of hindsight, to make the situation bearable. I'll probably sound like a jackass with some of these points but it's all in the spirit of self-preservation.
You need to be more specific on no. 1. It seems like you can overreacting unless the ASO is doing this on every minor mistake. No. 2 isn’t even a valid grievance. This literally happens all the time.
Do you not see the irony in posting online complaining about this instead of just talking to them?
I have talked to them several times and they get defensive. Slightly risky given analyst associate dynamic but told them nonetheless.
In what way were they defensive?
What’s risky about it? There’s really no downside to speaking to them and they’ll be the ones that look bad if they complain about it.
Feedback can and should work both ways. It may go a long if you approach it as “It would really help me a lot if you did x instead of y” or “I’m a bit concerned that you’re doing z”
Had a VP like this. Guy was an oddball that made you wonder how the hell he even found the door to the bank. Ate lunch by himself everyday and it was probably easier crossing the Delaware in a plastic cup than to relate to this guy on any level. Everyone shit talked working for the guy, but it sounded like it was just something you had to eat. Only advice I have for you is to try and talk with other people that have worked with him and see if you can get tips on what he/she likes to see. Maybe grab 1 on 1 and say you think he's got a good perspective and you wanted to learn more under him and try to make a friend? sounds like he has none. good luck
I choose to eat alone but only bc my coworkers bug me and I mostly hate my job
Hahaha, are you the associate this post is about?
I ate alone when I worked in construction, couldn't relate to anyone there. I tried at first but after a few weeks of attempting conversation and just getting blank stares from the rest of the team I just said screw it and sat at my desk. Very glad I got out of there, construction was definitely not my people.
In your VP example it sounds like he's just hard to relate to personally though. That's pretty different from being hard to work with.
I think the two go hand in hand honestly. If you got a guy who is only into an online video game like Realm or whatever the hell people play, I doubt he's easy to work for too
If you eat with colleagues, you'll be talking to them about what you're working on, so you can't mentally disengage from work. If you eat by yourself, you can text your girlfriend, check reddit, check market/your investments, check something else that you're following (like FIFA content, sports, etc.).
in terms of relating to him. he may have more unique interests/hobbies, which is not bad at all. I personally don't care for pop culture and I don't watch sports, but I'm into instrumental music, European arthouse dramas, etc., so yeah I won't be able to relate to you watching guys playing with a ball and listening to a new mumble rap album.
Tell me you don't have friends without telling me you don't have friends.... if you've ever eaten lunch with your other analysts/associates you would know work rarely comes up. Maybe the office water cooler gossip but not "hey bro doing the DCF WACC step up let's talk sensitivity over at chipotle". I actually agree with you that talking about football or basketball is boring. I'm into acting, hard heavy metal, and couture, so not like I'm talking about last nights Nets game. But you chill with people. no need to come at sports or mumble rap. different flavors. but If you eat by yourself and check reddit, that's not better.
"resorts to passive aggression or running to VP to give feedback about analysts even though they ask directly and they say nothing"
Folks we really need to stop referring to an individual person as "they". It's too damn confusing. I know it started because of a PC thing about gender or whatever. If you're really that concerned about the gender thing, use "s/he". If you must. Or better yet just stop being weird and use "he" for men and "she" for women.
This is WSO, not Oberlin College, we can talk normally here.
‘They’ is plural genius
I don't think that's correct, genius. But thanks for proving my point that it was confusing.
"They" has always been used as a gender-neutral term, OP likely isn't looking to give away any information about the associate bc their gender isn't at all relevant.
e.g. "someone broke into my house, idk who it is but THEY took my tv" perfectly normal english
Yeah except it gets confusing when used in rapid succession to the point of not even knowing what's being said.
Let's be real, I'm pretty sure he broke into your house.
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