How to get rejected from an IB internship
My friend’s dad wants him apply to IB internship to gain some “valuable experience”. He does not want to work the long hours for something he has zero interest in doing. What are some ways he can easily get rejected from an internship?
go to my state school lol
Too late, he’s already attending prestige and I’m pretty sure his dad would be pissed if he transferred
r/suicidebywords
.
First step: don’t apply
I like it, but hopefully something less obvious
Change GPA on resume to a 2.4 and put it in bold with larger font than the rest of the text. Pretty much guanteed to get no interviews.
Let me know if he wants to sell his spot, I would gladly trade my soul for it.
This one got me...
I'm pretty sure applying with zero interest already has his problem solved.
When applying, tell him to make sure to answer yes to all the background check questions.
Have him watch the job interviews in the movie Step Brothers to prep for his interviews.
Seriously? Your friend needs to man up and talk to his father. Intentionally failing interviews is 1) easy and 2) a waste of time for everyone involved.
He should ask the interviewer how much he can expect in compensation his first and only two years
This would be hilarious.
This would be great, but since it’s all connections, I can imagine the interviewer may tell someone about this who will then tell someone else who will then tell his dad
All he has to do is apply
Shit on the desk.
Ask if interns get models and bottles or if he has to land the FT offer for those
ask to POUND the interviewer in the ASS
But what if the interviewer says yes?
Then you hit the jackpot
Why is this even a post on WSO?
Wear an Elizabeth Warren T-shirt to all interviews
Cry during the interview
Go in and talk about excited he is to learn the ins and outs of daytrading and tell him to focus on how much he idolizes the movie Wall Street.
change resume font to Comic Sans
Putting the wrong bank name on the cover letter ought to do it too. If he applies to BBs make sure he uses the sentence "in line with other reputable budge bracket banks like Deutsche Bank". BB recruiters will love that one
I'm gonna make an assumption and say you are trolling.
On the 1% chance that I am wrong, I would suggest telling him to pretend the bank is a girl in a bar. My guess is you both have plenty of experience with rejection there.
We don’t go for girls in bars, but this could work
50+ typos on the resume. Easiest one would be to make sure he screws up spelling his own name
Tell the interviewer he wants to learn inside information on companies to gain an edge in public market investing.
This.
Being unprepared to respond to typical IB questions, particularly analytical ones; blase attitude.
Ask how strict the sexual harassment policy is
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