HR problem
So I talked to some alums on the street, and they told me the recruitment season is coming soon, and I should reach out to the HRs of BBs aggressively in order to earn a junior year summer internship. The question is just that I don't know what would be a good reason to go talk to them. Wouldn't they just tell me to go look on the company's official website and submit the resume? How is talking to them in advance gonna help me with the interview or anything?
HR girls at BBs are pretty fucking retarded dude, don't be intimidated by them.
They're pretty much just dumb ex-sorostitutes that have traded in their "Kappa Kappa Gamma" t-shirts for "Morgan Stanley" or whatever t-shirts.
In general their understanding of the industry is childish at best, but they have a lot of "team spirit" so they fail to understand that all the banks are pretty much the same and everybody just goes to the place that pays them the best.
so if you just shoot them an e-mail saying some halfassed bullshit like "I would really love to work at "X" bank because I've heard the culture is great bullshit bullshit bullshit" they're certainly dumb enough to take you seriously.
Also, just FYI, those alums that told you to contact HR totally blew you off and are likely complete fucking assholes. I mean... Come on - you reach out to a guy and his response is "apply through HR for internships." That's pretty bogus. I would never do that to a kid personally.
Great post nyc bandhar. I've gone through the same bullshit. Recently reached out to an alum at rbc to inquire about the analyst program for S&t and the only thing he could say was to avoid trading because its not meant for non-targets. Are you fucking kidding me ? Mind you I did a bb ibd sa gig over the summer followed by an elite boutique S&t internship. He then forwarded me the recruiters email and told me to reach out to her. "I hope you get lucky." Some people man, some people.
[quote=NYCbandar]
HR girls at BBs are pretty fucking retarded dude, don't be intimidated by them.
They're pretty much just dumb ex-sorostitutes that have traded in their "Kappa Kappa Gamma" t-shirts for "Morgan Stanley" or whatever t-shirts.
Automatic SB for this comment.
This is the first thing that anyone at any BB figures out on day 1 of training. I don't think anyone could put it more eloquently.....
I'm not too sure about what NYCbander is talking about but the majority of recruiters I've met with knew their shit pretty well and some of them were even ex bankers. What I would say is, go on your school's career website and if you can see the contacts of the recruiters that recruit at your school and contact them.
I know for my school, you can see some of the recruiters name from previous job postings and we're able to reach out to them if need be.
Also, the guys you met with were pretty shitty at offering a helping hand.
Look, I don't really want to get into a stupid little argument with you over the Internet about the potential intelligence of HR whores, for many reasons:
I seem to have run out of cocaine so will likely be sleeping soon
Based on your post you seem to be some sort of college kid who realistically doesn't know his/her dick/vagina from his/her asshole so not only is your opinion on what constitutes in-depth knowledge of a given asset class/industry frankly irrelevant, but your experience with HR whores is limited at best. So.... why should anyone care about your estimation of their relative intelligence?
Ex bankers? Please. Stumbling through an analyst gig for two years before jumping to HR doesn't exactly mean you "know your shit." Yeah, lots of HR girls were analysts in banking, so were a lot of other people. IBanking analysts aren't exactly rocket surgeons dude.
"Recruiter" and "HR bitch" aren't the same thing. I've dealt with lots of headhunters who were relatively sophisticated, but they aren't your day to day BB HR stepford wife.
So long story short, I think I've made it pretty clear what I'm saying. So you were impressed by some HR bitch's knowledge? Great - in the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king. Just because these bitches are smarter than you, doesn't make them objectively "smart." Just smarter than you.
You should always be nice and respectful to HR.
Some were former industry people. Most aren't. I completely disagree with many parts of NYCBandar's post, but I agree with the general advice for you- yes, you want to send them an email and you want to work for THEIR firm. Even the cynical (sophisticated) ones will give you credit for being smart enough to show interest in working for their firm.
Come on dude, did you really just use the word "sophisticated" to describe BB HR? I know you're like... the big granddaddy down to earth voice of sanity and bringer of PG rated wholesome family fun to WSO, so it wouldn't exactly fit with your MO to run around calling a spade a spade and a whore a whore, but let's be real for a minute - you might be the first motherfucker in the history of... absolutley fucking forever that eve accused the BB HR fembots of being "sophisticated."
Come on dude, most sophisticated things about those bitches are their okcupid profiles. Everybody knows HR is fucking dumb. I know that, my boss knows that, my boss' boss knows that, fucking Pedro Rodriguez the shoeshine guy knows that. All of Wall Street knows that. A cacophony of douchebags. An angelic fucking chorus of thousands of gelled hair fucking assholes wearing gay little ties with sailboats or some equally stupid shit like that printed on them, all chanting their agreement as one in glorious symphony.
I know you post a lot of shit on this website and give people really great advice about how we should all be living in Newark or something and spend the rest of our lives fucking some girl that's kind of on the chunkier side and kinda has a unibrow and kinda smells a little funky sometimes but "has a really great personality" or "would be a good mother to your children" or whatever the one size fits all illiniprogrammer life plan is so that we can all be as frugal as you are and contribute to our 401(k)s like good little soldiers so Bill Gross can pay himself fat management fees out of our coin while the rest of us cry ourselves to sleep every night while holding hands with unibrow bitch and watching said 401(k) get absolutely fucking smoked in PIMCO's total return fund as 10 year treasuries blow out 100 bps over the next year. So congrats, you're the king of the fucking Internet. Good job sport. But you're wrong about this HR issue. Your contention that there is such a thing as "sophisticated" HR bitches would get you laughed off of any trading floor on Wall Street.
The very idea is nonsensical! It would be like saying 1=0, or that a 10 year bond that sits parri to a 5 year bond issued out of the same master trust with the same structure should trade tight to the 5 year paper or that the Irish don't steal. It's a logical impossibility.
Anyways, it's 5:10 dude. Don't you have some trades to settle?
If you have this attitude you're not going to succeed in the recruiting process or IB.
I succeeded in the recruiting process.
After one day in IB, you realize this is the truth. It has nothing to do with attitude....
LOL all of those people who go around calling HR idiots suddenly change their tunes the moment they are thinking about looking for their next firm and need a more expedited hiring process. Luckily for them, they were only doing it verbally and it can probably never come back to haunt them.
OP: HR's intelligence is irrelevant to any decision you make here- and NYCBandar and I agree on what you need to do. Send them an email, state your interest in working for THEIR firm, and see where it goes. Be respectful. I recommend ignoring any debate about HR and just assume they're smart. It's probably better to write the email believing they are intelligent and worthy of respect and have that come out in the email rather than any sort of disrespect.
Also, I'm not sure I've said anything positive about bonds. Actually most of my posts have advocated equity value funds and index funds. The typical advice for people in their 20s is to avoid investing in bond funds so I'm not sure where you got that from.
You're obviously very smart but I'm really not sure you're as smart as you think you are. I'm not sure you're helping as much as you think either.
hahahahaha
I've seen some hedge funds / buy side investors incorporating psychometric testing and possibly long chats with clinical psychologists as part of their recruiting process...wave of the future. Pretty much replaces the need for HR.
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