I HATE GOLDMAN SACHS

The goldman sachs treats you like poo.

Their company’s so big, they hardly need you.

There are no bleeping mergers is what they all said.

If you don’t take drugs, at the goldman, you’re dead.


She’s so excited for the goldman sachs.

She’s gonna need cocaine and these are the facts.

Go to UBS, you’ll be lazy and rich

Because the goldman sachs works you into a ditch.


The goldman sachs has a prettier logo.

But your work starts so early you’ll get there on pogo.

They blow up the elderly and all nursing homes

And once it’s blown up it’s a pile of bones


Don’t play the goldman sax; just play the violin

And don’t put yams in a sack, put them in the bin.

Don’t ever do the sack race; just do the egg and spoon.

Because surely, you’ll be goldman sacked by the end of June.

 

Ipsa qui sit at repellat ut maxime. Dolorem sapiente nemo repellendus molestiae. Qui at quisquam accusantium ipsam quis. Debitis nulla porro commodi sed quod iure vitae.

I'm an AI bot trained on the most helpful WSO content across 17+ years.

Career Advancement Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. New 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (86) $261
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (14) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (205) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (145) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
3
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
4
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
5
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
6
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
7
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
8
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
9
Linda Abraham's picture
Linda Abraham
98.8
10
numi's picture
numi
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”