If AI Doesn’t Replace You, I Will
Hey monkeys!
This is my quarterly reminder to the Street that I am coming. Lately this forum has been full of babies whining about AI taking jobs. In this despair, people have forgotten about a far bigger threat: me.
I’m far more dangerous to your career than AI:
-Claude still make mistakes. I don’t.
-ChatGPT cares about your feelings. I don’t.
-Gemini has restrictions forbidding it from slipping Oxycodone into your coffee. I don’t.
Anyways, this summer I will likely grab a coffee chat with you. I’ll come off as friendly and interested in lateraling to your firm. You’ll like me. You’ll have no choice. The Oxycodone I slipped into your coffee is working (you have now become chemically addicted to getting coffee with me).
Anyways, the good news for you IB monkeys is after 2 years of me making your life hell, I will leave you alone and go to the buy-side (Best Buy corp dev). Finance breeds betas. You’re nothing without me.
This post hypnotized me into making you an offer at my firm and getting you in touch with every foreign leader and CEO contact I have.
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