Investment Banker

This is my first online forum post so apologies but I want to be an Investment Banker. I want to work with colleagues to drive sales and work with clients in a challenging environment. I want to work at Goldman and Sachs, or Morgan Stanley
My questions are: 

1) How will I win clients such that banks such as Goldman and Sachs or Morgan Stanley will actively recruit ME rather than me actively recruiting THEM.

2) How do I improve my networking hit-rate. So far, since I’m from NYC, I have worn a suit and taken the train down to Wall Street. At Wall Street, I will either walk around the Raging Bull statue in Bowling Green to look for Investment Bankers, or I will go to fast casual restaurants to look for them. I do this because I am clever and know Investment Bankers are busy such that they only have time to go to fast restaurants, but not fast food since they are healthier. So I have been going to Chipotle and Sweetgreen and such. So far I have found and spoken to 3 investment bankers in such manners which is surprisingly low for Wall Street. Most of the well dressed people I approach work at insurance companies or the stockholder exchanges. The ones that I have spoken to have been kind but have not offered me a job or invited me into the office to meet the Investment Banker Team.

 
Funniest

I am asking you sincerely for advice and mentorship and such. I want to become an Investment Banker at Goldman and Sachs. Where would you recommend to find Investment Banker mentors at? I have been going to lunch places such as Cava, Chipotle, Sweetgreen to some success and the Raging Bull statue obviously (I figured a lot of Investment Bankers would go to reminisce and admire the statue in their free time) but perhaps I should try the outside areas of Stockholder Exchanges or perhaps a fancy tailor such as Jos. A. Banks. 

 

would highly recommend waiting in the bathroom of chipotle near wall street. Chipotle will make them use bathroom more frequently, therefore increasing your hit rate. For a faster convo, wait in the tall stall so you have a convo with a short king who overcompensates for his height and is more likely to spill the beans. For a longer, more meaningful conversation, wait in the stall and then pass a note written on the toilet paper via under the stalls. This is how the Warren buffet the CEO of Amazon got his first job.

 

don't know if this is a troll or just some Indian national hoping to work on Wall Street

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