IT can suck a fat one

Arrogant fucking pricks, thinking they can boss me around. "You MUST open a ticket" πŸ€“. No, you fucking retard, the printer is literally sitting in the room right next to you, just come over and do your damn job. Don't need no fucking ticket to the NY office when we sit in the Bay Area and can't print our pitch books properly because you crayon-munchers cheaped out on the ink! 

Ok, I calmed down. But yes. IT can suck a fat one. I make literally triple their salary, who tf do they think they are? Where tf do they get their guts from? Middle-office brown suit wearing non-target spazzes.

(No offense to tech bros, you're cool in my book)

11 Comments
 

Hahaha, I occasionally share this anger when it's midnight and I have to log on but can't remember my VPN password because it needs to be changed every 30 days and include 12 characters with absurd criteria. 

It's not the rank and file IT guys who are responsible for that type of stuff though so try not to shit on some innocent analyst level IT dude. 

 
Analyst 1 in IB-M&A

Arrogant fucking pricks, thinking they can boss me around. "You MUST open a ticket" πŸ€“. No, you fucking retard, the printer is literally sitting in the room right next to you, just come over and do your damn job. Don't need no fucking ticket to the NY office when we sit in the Bay Area and can't print our pitch books properly because you crayon-munchers cheaped out on the ink! 

Ok, I calmed down. But yes. IT can suck a fat one. I make literally triple their salary, who tf do they think they are? Where tf do they get their guts from? Middle-office brown suit wearing non-target spazzes.

(No offense to tech bros, you're cool in my book)

This behavior is why they flex on you and you can't do anything about it.

Try not being a king kamehaha-douche and invite them to a fantasy league or for drinks and be a human for once.

They may decline the offer but you can bet they'll let you know if an md is asking for email searches etc. that will drastically help your experiences.

IT can see and control more than you'll ever want to know, they are like admin. You better give them a fucking donut once in a while or some flowers.

If the glove don't fit, you must acquit!
 
Funniest

That's a splendid idea, and while am at it, why don't I offer to suck them off, or ask if they want to run a train on my girlfriend? Fuck off with that slimy bullshit, if they want something they have to move first. "Invite them to a fantasy league or for drinks", I think I'd rather cut my dick off with a rusty spoon, thank you very much.

 

Enjoy your trouble ticket getting less priority than jacking off in a bathroom stall to Billie Eilish while I have several sports streaming sites unblocked.

If the glove don't fit, you must acquit!
 

Year end review time

MD: performance was good all around, though I’m shocked that you don’t know how to open an IT ticket. Even my dog knows how. Your bonus will be therefore….

 

You don’t know how office politics works.

The department you treat with the most respect is IT. Without them, you’ll have to use a GD paper ledger and draw a deck with a crayon.

Think about it, genius

 

A quas aspernatur ut et blanditiis tempore. Corrupti quia facilis sequi quaerat praesentium accusamus. Exercitationem nam sit odit aut maiores possimus.

Ut dolore voluptatum fugit assumenda consectetur. Ut omnis ullam deleniti ipsum.

Career Advancement Opportunities

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.3%
  • Guggenheim Partners 01 97.7%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Morgan Stanley 02 98.9%
  • Evercore 01 98.3%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.7%
  • Banco Santander 01 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 06 98.3%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.7%
  • JPMorgan No 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (15) $434
  • Associates (45) $258
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (22) $179
  • Intern/Summer Associate (13) $156
  • 1st Year Analyst (79) $150
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (73) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

β€œ... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
3
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
4
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
5
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
6
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
7
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
8
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
9
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
10
Mimbs's picture
Mimbs
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

β€œ... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”