Just got asked to leave an IB internship mid summer... that's probably a first
I can't believe I'm writing this publicly, but I know I can't tell anyone else in my life. Just a few hours ago, I was asked to leave my internship. Long story short, I've been going through a lot lately. Currently processing that I was severely physically, emotionally, and verbally abused by my parents for the past 15 years (the emotional and verbal continues even though they are still in another state and I'm in a large city). My sister is still encountering this back at home (I'm supporting her through this as much as I can) and my parents are becoming even more controlling by the minute. They track my location hourly, to get a glimpse of how bad it is. Anyways, the realization that I will never truly be free from them has hit me like a ton of bricks and I've been unable to keep up with the internship. Turning in assignments a few days late, not showing up to company events, and not completing the pre-work. I know I sound like a lazy ass, but I'm just not myself right now.
The company picked up on this and quietly told me it was best if I leave, understanding that my behavior was due to mental struggles. I did not give them details to my situation. They will be giving me prorated pay, which is very kind of them. However, I don't know what to do about my resume. A gap in the summer for no reason? Do I tell employers?
I'm realizing I only did IB to make my parents happy. The other interns will have no idea what happened because I didn't socialize much, as you can probably understand. But interestingly enough, I feel free. I have time to focus on what I actually want to do (finance and accounting double major so I guess it's not ANYTHING lol, but I have a few options). My plan is to spend the days I have left in the city studying for the CPA, applying to all finance- related jobs, and interviewing (if anyone will take me seriously). But also, my parents cannot know about this or my safety is actually compromised. I'm planning on asking the company if they can pay me every two weeks like normal, so it doesn't look sus. Any words of encouragement or advice would be appreciated, thank you for reading.
holy macaroni
Indeed
You can definitely be free. Sounds like they have access to your bank statements and pay for your phone. Make a new apple ID or whatever it takes so they can't track you, get a separate bank account, and get any job (preferably in your major), so you never have to rely on them for anything.
You'll feel even more free than you do now. Good luck and hope everything is okay.
Thank you so much, really appreciate this comment
Prioritise getting your independence however you possibly can, then break all communication with them and forget they even existed. Pave your own way. Godspeed brother
Exactly my plan from here on out - thank you. Godspeed
Prorated pay means that you get paid a portion of the salary proportionate to the amount of time worked, hence your parents can realize that you are getting paid less than you are supposed to.
I am in no position to give you life advice as mental health is no joke and you should do what makes you feel happy, but I'll share my ignorant point of view.
Personally I don't feel like quitting mid summer internship is a solution to your problem. It could even annoy future employers. I would try to push through it and then look for a job that makes you happy and independent.
-
Sweeping this all under the rug when applying to your next job might be a good idea based on what you are applying to, but it isn't necessarily the right answer. A lot of people don't get return offers (you don't have to say you were cut halfway through). A lot of people realize they hate banking and they don't want to do it. A lot of people realize they physically can't handle 16 hour work days. I know people who have fallen into all 3 of these buckets and have go on to be very successful - some within finance and some outside of it. Your position is not nearly as dire as it likely feels. When applying to other jobs, curate your story to what will be best received - if you want to work in a strategy role at a start-up (random example, known a number of people to make the switch) its probably still advantageous to have banking on the resume. They should be receptive to "I hated working 16 hour days on pitch decks that the client never opened." Or you can be more honest and say family issues interfered. I understand that you may feel embarrassed by a perceived failure, but I would focus on trying to spin an advantageous story rather than hiding from it altogether.
And as everyone else is saying, most importantly, focus on whatever is going on behind the scenes. I'm sorry you have these extra difficulties when this is already plenty hard to manage.
Good luck
Let me guess
Asian/Indian parents?
White parents generally don't micromanage adult childrens locations hourly etc (nor do the kids let it happen)
-
African immigrants?
A lot of Asian or middle eastern(and African I guess too) immigrants parents are suuuuuper controlling. There just is an independence we have in the USA other countries don't understand. For many immigrant parents they have barely no life outside family. No friends no hobbies. It's all family and it lends itself to controlling them
Sent you a PM
I'm really sorry that you're in this situation. Your #1 goal should be to become fully independent from your parents. The best starting place is to gain financial independence. This means your own bank account and credit card. Money might become tough for a while if they cut you off financially; plan to have a job while you're back on campus.
How old is your sister? I know it can be scary with her still trapped in their household. Hopefully she's leaving for college soon.
Please feel free to DM me. We can speak offline and I can help you set these things up.
Thank you so much for this, just sent over a DM
Find a good lawyer and sue the shit out of them. Just claim abuse from them, doesn’t matter it’s verbal mental or physical
-
Court record is all sealed, trust me. Only way it goes public is if your parents leak it. Just the thought of you actually suing them will stop them from escalating for a while. Talk to a lawyer first anw
You got this! I have faith in you! Head up
Sorry to hear about the situation, but I'm sure you will go on to do incredible things, and more importantly - find peace and happiness. I hope when that happens (very soon) you come back to this thread and give us an update. Do not worry about the gap - you still did half (?) of it so it belongs on your resume and you can certainly state you left midway due to personal/health reasons. Stay away from IB and find a job/role that's interesting, has a good career path, and won't kill you. Good luck with CPA! Hope you have good friends and peer group to get you through this, and if not - this community is here for you. Keep us updated and best of luck.
Thank you, this means so much to me 3
Sorry to hear that happened. Best of luck going forward with the career search.
One small piece of advice from someone who’s had an absentee parent and some of their own issues. The current therapeutic obsession with root causes of issues and introspection of trauma can be more harmful than helpful for many people.
Forcing yourself not to dwell on the past and adopting an attitude of radical acceptance, or a perpetual “it is what is is” attitude has freed me and is a far healthier way to live.
-
Best of luck. Guessing their lever of control is money?
If you’re still dependent on them, be careful though. You’re not far off from graduating.
Hope everything gets better. Goodluck
I won’t call you weak for this, it seems like it’s taken a psychological toll.
That being said, are you not a fully grown adult? That got a summer internship in investment banking?
The only thing that will cause you to rely on your parents is failure in your profession and personal finances.
As a grown adult why do you let them track you? Tell you what to do? You are a grown adult - you get to decide that. Why do you feel as if they get to determine that? If it’s money, then go make your own money. Laughable
-
What if you just told them… no
I don’t want you to have to cut your parents completely out of your life- has to be some middle ground
What if you just told them… no
I don’t want you to have to cut your parents completely out of your life- has to be some middle ground
What if you just told them… no
I don’t want you to have to cut your parents completely out of your life- has to be some middle ground
What if you just told them… no
I don’t want you to have to cut your parents completely out of your life- has to be some middle ground
Architecto tempore voluptate provident est ut. Adipisci animi et dolor quia quod. Sint tempora autem mollitia corporis soluta omnis soluta.
Voluptatem facilis cupiditate aspernatur quia placeat rem voluptas. Aut consequatur quia qui. Minima suscipit aliquid consequatur voluptates mollitia. Et odio cupiditate molestias sed esse.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Officia mollitia nostrum eum et. Eaque nihil nostrum voluptatibus iste. Beatae veritatis repellendus dolorem ullam.
Labore fugit quis non tempore eum. Aliquam ullam et rem eaque quos debitis est saepe. Nostrum atque aut at sed sit.
Excepturi adipisci laborum ut soluta. Voluptate sit commodi totam quasi veniam ea. Omnis eum ut ad eveniet nemo magni doloremque.