Mentally shit, can I take a break?
My mental health has been shit ever since I started working. Unfortunately I came to realize that banking is not for me and that my group is full of type A assholes that must hate life. I been planning to quit as soon as I collect my bonus but I’m right on the edge of having a mental breakdown.
Has anyone ever asked to take a month off or so from work due to mental health? I still want to finish my year at least but feel on the edge of breaking down every day. If granted, would taking time off affect my bonus?
Not in the industry but just came to say I hope you start getting better soon man. Wishing you luck in this
Thanks! Also by mentally shit I don't mean I'm suicidal or any danger to myself. I mean I'm just having a lot of anxiety, some panic attacks and I'm always on the edge of screaming back at my associates and just never returning to work. My life is great if it wasn't for work.. I have a great family, wonderful gf, other things I'm happy about it but I have limited time for all those things… I miss going home to see my dog, I just don’t have the energy to spend my only free day commuting
Yeah I hear you… I’m an incoming SA, and tbh I’ve always been the emotionally weaker one which is why im scared going into it. I’ve found a lot of stability in my life from other things in the last year so I feel prepared, but still feel like I’m underestimating the job.
Update us if you decide to take a break and how it goes with your bank!
Wtf
Quick being a fucking puss. Life forgives no weakness.
Younger than you so I am only writing based on what ive seen on WSO.
Try to ask for a 3-4 day break (feasible depending on bank). Use that time to recenter yourself and create a plan to lateral either to another group or industry. Or even something more chill (CB or even a start up). I think if you create a plan to get out you will have a much better time at work as you know there is a path for you for a happier and brighter future.
Others, feel free to lmk if this is too much wishful thinking. Wishing you the best of luck.
I’ve never done it, but mental health is a legally legitimate reason for taking extended medical leave. I’ve heard of people doing it for longer with no issue.
Maybe things have changed. But asking for a few days off back in the day was akin to hari kari (exaggeration but get the drift)
Go talk to your staffer, assuming they are not psychopathic. And tell them you need to take a week off. The conversation will go in one of two directions. Either the staffer will tell you no and all the lingo about how everyone is working hard in which case nothing has changed and you'll get out of there asap, or you get the week off that buys you more time towards the bonus and still get to take time off.
An entire month off as a first year, barring severe hospitalization problems, may be looked at skeptically. But more than fair to ask for a week. It's already a labor market with short talent so they would likely much rather give you one week off and have you back rather than having to immediately recruit and fill in the gaps for several weeks.
I don't know what firm or group you're in, but man I feel you. I was in the exact same position during COVID, and instead of doing the above I just reached a breaking point where I just started crying in front of my desk home alone and my hands were shaking. I had to call a friend while I had a full on panic attack on the floor. After the conversation, I had to literally pick myself up and call my MD and when asked what's wrong, I just started crying and was told to take the week off. Nothing happened as a result, and if anything I was clear headed how quickly I had to get out of that environment.
Thanks appreciate the response! My staffers seem to be on the psychotic side.. They forced me to work many times when I physically couldn’t.. hopefully they will be more open minded this time
Best of luck.
Know that you have the power to quit anytime should you choose.
And if you know banking isn't for you, it can be incredibly liberating and exciting to start exploring what it is that does interest you.
Has PE worked out better for you? I am scared it's Banking 2.0 over again
They don't call it Banking 2.0 without reason.
For me, I wasn't interested in private equity for that exact same reason and wanted to stay in investment banking. But I reached one too many breaking points with some Associates on my team in investment banking while the overall team did nothing to rectify the situation that I knew I needed to try something new and knew banking was not sustainable for me. I thought I found a PE firm with a unique story and a strategy, and the interview felt seamless so I had a good gut feeling about it all so I joined.
I currently do not like it, but hey at least I did it and know I don't like it. I really love some of the folks at my firm, but there are some that are incredibly toxic I have no interest in sticking around. In your diligence on firms, whether before, during, or after getting an offer I recommend talking to as many people at the firm as possible and in-person if possible.
Just wanna say hope you are doing well and even if you quit before bonus, your IB experience is so valuable that headhunters will reach out to you. You can then bounce to boutiques to smaller offices in IB/PE/HF etc. Hopefully you can get some kind of rest (at least few days) and get back to it until bonus season.
Thanks! I need to still think if I want to stay in finance or do something more chill. My brain is telling me to leave finance and never look back at this hell hole but I really did enjoy my previous internships experiences and genuinely enjoyed finance prior to working in this group. This is one of those groups that you hear has an absurdly bad culture which is very very true…
Do you mind PMing which group this is so I know to avoid lol
Sounds like your group is a bunch of assholes. I'm sorry man, that's a tough break, hang in there.
If you still have some appetite to stay in industry, I promise you there are better groups out there where you'll work with actually decent human beings. You don't need to be a type A asshole to be a rockstar.
Otherwise fuck it, cut bait and run. Your physical / mental health should always be a priority.
I'm surprised no one has asked when your bonus season is. How can anyone make any recommendations without that piece of information???
For most of us, bonus season just passed, but I suppose you could be in a different country/culture. So provide more details on that and then maybe people can help you.
Overall, you might just need a little vacation to change your mood. Grab a female and get on a flight to somewhere warm and do everything first class. Enjoy the money, enjoy being young and you'd be surprised how much that can recharge you.
I hear you and sorry you are going through this. If you are this close to the edge and have already determined that banking is not for you, you need to take care of yourself and forget about the work in front of you right now. Thankfully, things have gotten better in the industry and firms have to address mental health things more. As some folks have mentioned, talk to your staffer, and get a week off. If they say no, go to HR and say it's a matter of health. They cannot fault you for that and it buys you time to get the bonus you deserved. Legally, you are allowed time off and they have to respect your mental health. At this point, if you are this close to the edge, your work product will suffer anyways and you will just get worse. So take care of yourself and take some time off. The work will always be there.
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