Networking event as a cripple
Hey guys, a freshman from Boston. Go to a target. I got invited to a networking event, exclusive, invite-only and an alumni said if I had the time, I should come (as it is exam season at my college, and he knows I may have an exam). However, he doesn't know I am severely disabled (I'm more disabled than a stepped-on bug, disabled enough that people stare at me from afar), as I don't sound it. I've never done a coffee chat in-person, or through Zoom. This is a respected MM. I'm seriously questioning on whether I should go, as I've had a good rapport with this alum (MD at the firm). However, I don't want to weird them out when I enter the room. Should I not go? Or should I let him know beforehand and tell him he's free to revoke my invitation as I don't want to make the people in the room feel odd.
One thing I'd like to note is that although it takes some time to look over my disability, I'd say that I'm chill and easy to get along with. However, the initial reaction can be a bit hard, and it can take some time to get used to it (I think my disability makes me an eyesore).
To sum up and restate my question - should I not go? or should I email him and tell him about the situation and let him know he's free to revoke the invitation given the circumstances?
No, don’t tell him. Just look online if it’s an Ada accessible venue. If he reacts badly, that reflects about his morals and should not be considered someone to network and maintain a connection for the future. Be authentic!
Hey man, thanks for your response. I can walk, and don't need any accommodations, but my disability is just an eyesore. I'm just scared of the initial reaction, as sometimes people are weirded out. I get what you're saying though. Thanks for your insight!
What do you have to lose? Honestly think you should go for it. I know a couple folks in Banking who have disabilities who even thrive in this environment. Your gonna sooner or later have to do a face to face interview, might as well start getting some practice talking with folks.
Anyone who judges you for this isn't someone you want to work with. Just go for it and try your best not to act self conscious. If anything, I'd respect you more knowing you probably had to overcome more than the average person to get to where you are.
Admittedly, depending on the situation, I may act a bit weird around you but that would be more of a function of just not knowing how to act as opposed to any criticism of you.
Go for it. Do not let this stop you. If you want, you could also let whoever is running the event know you have a disability and wanted to give them a heads up just so everyone is tracking and has a chance to accommodate anything you might need? (they will likely pass along the word to people so there aren't any weird surprises?). No need to do that however. Depends on your preference.
By chance, what is the disability you have?
True story, I once went through an interview process with a firm. Had to go through the gatekeeper HR girl a lot, who was sort of being an administrative block for me, and I developed a sort of disdain for this person (i had only spoken to the individual through email and the phone). "HR is so annoying, too dumb to do a real job like IB, slowing everything down"
Anyways, I go to meet this HR girl after my superday (I got the offer) and come to find out she has severe palsy, mobility issues, and basically had a life that was infinitely more difficult than my pampered, healthy upper middle class background. She could not have been more warm, engaging, and bright in person and was so congratulatory to me. Huge wake-up call to me and my attitude.
Felt like garbage for days after that. I still feel bad about it.
Were you openly disdainful towards her or did you keep it in your thoughts? We all have internal biases and prejudgments we make, what’s important is we keep it internally and check ourselves
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