Pet Peeves / office etiquette
Thought I'd create a thread where people can moan about all the things people do in the office that piss them off. I will begin
- People trying to have full, detailed conversations with me about deals when I'm clearly eating dinner. Like fuck bro, can I not have 5 fucking minutes to just eat my fucking dinner?! Is what you're telling me so fucking important you can't wait 4 minutes for my to shovel down my shit deliveroo?!Fucking pisses me off.
If my VP is reading this then yeah I’m talking about you and fuck off
Obnoxiously loud typing. My office has an open layout with close seating arrangements. There is a guy next to me that aggressively bottoms his keys and intermittently slams the enter key with additional intensity, creating this cacophony of noise that’s very distracting / disorienting. It’s all done with a certain performance flair as if his emails are an expression of art.
ratio'd by someone with 100+ WPM typespeed ig
People who can’t take a call without yelling. Makes me feel like I work at a call center.
This is so annoying.
I hate it when people walk in on me assaulting my meat. Like fuck man, isn't the gorilla-like grunting enough to deter you from kicking down my stall door?
People that will sneak up on you from behind. Had a cube that faced a window at a previous job and this one dude would always come over and just stand behind me.
Same dude would also constantly ask me for stuff that was not my responsibility. Of course I still provided it, but his requests increasingly grew more and more intensive and my boss finally had to step in and said “he works for me, not for you”. That boss was legit - the best guy I’ve ever worked under.
At 8am having a desk manager on the floor constantly talking about his fucking autistic son learning how to throw a frisbee.
What is a desk manager
Hard forward associates
This stupid entitled rich white bitch is in my group, always complains, won't stfu about how much work she's getting, acts like she's that girl, leaves whenever she wants, I swear, just irks my souls as to how entitled she acts I wanna smack the shit out of her. Fucking talks shit under her breathe, swear to god I wish I smack the can the shit out of her, what’s worse is I have to work with her fucking stupid disabled looking ass just wanna jump off the building
1 - It's less of a problem now, but cell ringing or buzzing cell phones. I know that seems like a small thing but I worked at a tech company where phones were all over the place in a whisper quiet environment. Used to drive me crazy. But I think most people know to keep their phones completely silent now.
2 - People having way too personal conversations. Even if they're not doing it on purpose, but still loud enough to hear it. It's so fucking unprofessional to bring your dirty laundry to work with you. Plus, these are also the same people (guaranteed!) that are essentially circling the drain on their way out, whether they realize it or not. I remember one time I had to sit there and listen to a guy talk about how his wife cheated on him and she was currently pregnant and didn't know if the baby was his or the other guy, now had appointments with divorce lawyers, blah, blah, blah. He was gone 4 months later, never to be heard from again. Talking about personal crap like that at work is both disgusting and embarrassing. Have some self respect.
So was it his?
Sorry you can’t just drop that with no resolution fully invested in this storyline now
Ha! That's funny, +SB
Like I said, these people wash out and end up in crappy banks (think Wells/Wells/Wells) or at least that's the last I heard about them. Don't really care to hear more.
(see what I did there?)
People who ping you “I have a question” or “can I ask you something?” Or “hey” then wait for you to say something before they continue. Just tell me what you want from the beginning, why are you waiting for me to say yes or hello back? Wtf do you want?
I do this all the time and do it because I:
1) Want to make sure the person isn’t in a call (some people have altered their status buttons to not be accurate)
2) Want to make sure the person isn’t super busy/ available to talk.
Personally I’ve been in situations where I’m in the middle of something and then someone else sends me another task and it can be distracting + overwhelming at times (information overload). I try to make life easier for those I talk to by checking that it’s ok to talk first before getting to the issue.
Could you tell me why you see it as a bother?
Because it doesn't give us any fucking space. 90% of the time, it ends up being a request or question that doesn't need to be answered synchronously. If you need something, just ask the full question or request and add a qualifier about the urgency or other context needed to get back to you. If it can be sent as an email, it doesn't need to be synchronously. If it requires a live discussion, then ask if you have time to chat and provide some context, not just "Hi".
https://nohello.net/en/
Dude just ask the question. If the other person is busy they'll get to it when they get to it.
"Hey" as a ping with no immediate follow up drives me fucking insane
Ppl who ping you saying “I just emailed you”
I do this a lot as a way of confirming that the recipient actually got the email (such as an important deliverable). Technology can be weird at times and I just want to make sure it sent. I also do this just in case the person I’m speaking to intentionally or unintentionally doesn’t have their email open but has the chat open.
Honestly bro I would hate to work with you. Emails rarely fail to deliver, and if you emailed me and then I got a teams message saying “hey I emailed you” I would tell you to go fuck yourself
One intern kid chews with his mouth open. Dude, we’re not in kindergarten.
He doesn’t have asthma
Asthma? Maybe in the US where every second person is a fat fuck obese.
There’s a difference between talking while you eat and then smacking while you munch on chips
1- People who read your computer or emails or messages that come when they’re at your desk
2- People who sneak from behind and try to figure out what you were talking about or ask
3- Sound notifications or phone sounds on
4- Being very loud on phone calls or in-office conversations
5- this one annoys me so much: using things from people’s desks when they’re not there or without their permission
6- very strong perfumes
7- wearing weird clothes even if casual dress code
You shouldn't even be eating dinner in the office anymore to begin with. If ya'll are seriously not WFH after like 6pm you need to lateral somewhere else. Half these pet peeves would just be solved easily by going somewhere that's more hybrid
More senior guy grabbing my mouse thinking he can do a better job, but getting frustrated while trying to figure shit out on the spot. Waste of both our times.
Verbal comments
I like to hang up most calls with “I love you” (office culture is very important to me) but my teammates don’t always say it back. They did at first, but I’ve noticed recently they just get quiet and hang up.
One of my MDs even called me back after I hung up to ask me what I had said (I guess he had a spotty connection) so I told him I loved him and he didn’t even say it back.
I reached out to HR about this but I guess they had already heard about it, so I’m meeting with them Friday to voice my concerns.
Are you a girl?
They're cheating on you. Call a P.I. and get they ass cold
My pet peeve is going into the office. Fuck that. Call me in once a quarter to get me drunk and shake hands, otherwise don't waste my time.
People eating ice. Everyone around me does it. Like just get up and get a fucking cup of water.
Guy next to me clears his throat every 2 minutes for like an hour. Happens about 3 times a day. Thinking at this point I just need to throat punch him
Lmao I’m laughing bc in a meeting yesterday dude was eating ice and dropped a piece and went “oops”
Sam and his bullshit. Old coworker, but let’s go down the list:
This was beautiful to be honest.
lol, I had forgotten I wrote this and died laughing reading it after you bumped it.
Hadn’t thought about this dude in a minute, he really was such a mouth breathing, stinky, inconsiderate oaf. It’s like if someone made a perfect shit stew of irritating and horrible coworker traits that aren’t fireable, but make working with someone the absolute worst. By the end of my stint, it almost had humor to it, cause he’d roll into the office doing some new unexpected thing that violates everyone, while being technically allowed.
The last week I was there he was clipping his nails at his desk and I was just like, “You know, I’ll miss you man, hope we hang out soon”
A big pet peeve of mine is when team members call you out of the blue without warning / expecting and get mad if you don’t answer. Office etiquette in any job is to message / email someone and ask if they have a minute to chat or can they call, etc. before calling.
This especially applies outside of business hours. I shouldn’t get a phone call from a team member on Sunday mornings or early morning on the 4th of July from team members expecting me to pick up and be by my laptop always...especially when the call is not one that was expected.
Cutting me off when I’m explaining something. Bro, I was getting to your point if you gave me like 3 more seconds before interrupting me.
.
Unfortunately I'm typing this about one particular VP at my firm.
Holy cow I need a beer now.
Aggressively enforcing no more WFH on the basis that “in person interactions” are good for “team culture”…but literally EVERY single meeting (with said person/senior team members wanting to enforce this rule for juniors) or impromptu call is done via Teams anyway, even if you’re right next door from my cube.
1) Pinging someone with a "hey" or "hi" is not only annoying, it's in part considered bad/rude office etiquette.
2) This lady sitting next to me having what I called these "perfumania" sessions 3x a day that reeked of cheap perfume; endlessly. Saying "I hope people on the walk by don't think its me."
3) Listening to this dude in a cubicle area close to me, literally on the phone all day, wouldn't STFU!
4) Another reeker bringing in lunch from home, doing the microwaved ethnic food from who knows what efffing country. Sucked & yuck!
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