Some notes from my BB IBD Internship...
we are just rounding up training but here are a few notes..
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theres some tool in the summer analyst class that is a 'walking ibankingoasis' stop quoting every fuckin forum topic and your discussions everyday doesn't have to be stuff talked about on here. I know your s/n and all but please stop. thanks
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the banker female interns in my analyst class are not the prettiest. not to be sexist or anything, you would expect that theres something else motivating you to come to the office every morning. some stats that i calculated. probably about 75% of the females are asian, is this a good or bad thing??? Who knows.
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why do all the white kids hang out with themselves and the black kids hang out with themselves too...granted theres an invisible gravitational pull to people of your own race but in my bank..its so obvious..its not exactly racism but its something that worries me..from the angle of both white and black.
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some kids think its a fucking competition against each other. Public service announcement, i'm not competing with you for an offer so don't act like a tool near me. this is a conversation i had with a UPENN female during some accounting training. I had just fallen behind by like couple theories, so it goes like this
me; hey how did you arrive at this figure (i'm pointing to some figure on her notepad
Upenn gurl; ermm..i'm not sure actually. i'm just going with the flow
me; aight. cool..of course (i know she's bs'ng but do i gaf(give a fuck))
instructor; so who could re explain what we just did
Upenn gurl; explains everything to perfection and leaves nothing untouched
me; (giving her no chance to finish)...i thought you didn't know it
Upenn gurl; i was trying to answer the question exclusively.
the conversation ends there as i obviously could have shot her if i had a gun (damn, i hate those gun laws). I wish i had an easily accessible weapon.
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HR ladies are hot though they pretend a lot. I caught some HR lady staring at one intern so much. Not trying to sound gay, but the guy was hot and she caught me lookin at him and just smiled.
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ibanking is not an intellectual thing..its more of dedication and hardwork. everything is 60 pct routine in it..every firm has a standalone model that should at least enable you get started
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back to the tools, if your bank says no suits..please don't show up in one. It only makes you look stupid, dumb and outta place. Even though you have a 4.0 from harvard
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the avg gpa in my analyst class for ibanking is 3.79. This is precisely calculated from the resume books
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50pct of the class have never done modelling before.
40pct are not business related majors. -
everyones resume has the same shit. the most important shit to work on is your personality.
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stop kissing ass. that's the worst thing in the world. its so obvious. don't do it. don't do it. just be yourself and it sells.
-lastly, watch your back, front, and two sides. its a dog eat dog place, instead of ppl hoping to succeed, they hope for the other guys to fail...i've witnessed so much of dog eating and it kills my heart.
these are just a few notes from my first week in banking. I would update in as necessary.
disclaimer; i hate ivy league kids even though i may or may not be, one of them.
good stuff, I look forward to the next installment
it comes across as a leveraged sell out piece but this is actually real. really good stuff and also lookin forward to the next stuff.
Great stuff! Thanks for sharing and please keep it coming!
thanks for the insights, i will especially keep in mind your warning about watching my back
wow, i would have went off on that chick... i am starting to appreciate more being the only intern in my office
"HR ladies are hot though they pretend a lot. I caught some HR lady staring at one intern so much. Not trying to sound gay, but the guy was hot and she caught me lookin at him and just smiled."
Excellent. Keep this up and you will become unfireable - you have just earned yourself a ticket into i-banking a minority group.
"Living the dream 24/7 on http://theallnighter.blogspot.com"
ROFL
Good post, telling it how it is. Good to know that other workplaces have their own toolbag.
Thanks! Really interesting and helpful, and I actually caught myself chuckling a few times. Like a well-written novel about IBanking. Looking forward to the next update.
Good story. Saw the same idiocy of childhood long ago.
Ah, some things never change. Right on the money. Looking forward to reading more.
ouch 3.79
What is the "curriculum" for the training?
what kind of classes do you have? what topics in accounting do you cover? financial statement analysis?
Reminds me of training 3 years ago!
3.79 GPA? which bank is that?
damn, i have 3.4 from non target..maybe if im around 4.0 kids next year it will kind even out..
A 3.79 seems pretty high. I would have expected closer to a 3.6.
nice feedback...just got back from work so i cant be bothered to write anything..
3.79..this is just for the guys doing strictly ibd..not any other mickey mouse thing..
topics we covered..reg stuff..interrelation of the three financial statements..indepth analysis
don't worry about the gpa's..these guys are all tools..
..ive seen a wide range from a pilot to an olympic athlete...so who knows. maybe next yr, we'll have space scientists..
No, really, what bank is this? I don't believe the 3.79.
don't think anyone is too keen to out themselves
I am sure he doesn't, but I've seen resume books (last year) for most of the top banks and 3.79 is really high.
Either this year was ridiculously more competitive than years past or he made some error in computing the average.
Really now, I think most people on this board can attest to the fact that most individuals with BB jobs have
You mean, like S&T?
Sure, I'm not a banker...but I've read a lot and 3.79 is crazy high as an average.
what sort of training program does your bank use? Is there an online component?
You mention learning about the interrelation of the three financial statements. But which one's are these?
Income Statment
Balance Sheet
Statement of CF
and then you don't really work with the Statement of R/E?
R/E is part of balance sheet, sorta.
Well, yeah. I'm just saying that we have given reference to all four separately in my classes thus far.
Thanks for the clarification though.
-its more like part of the p&l but they all pretty much work together since it comes to shareholder's equity on the balance sheet.
-we use so many online stuff. i was actually playing during training but i remember guys from dealmaven, factiva, so many stuff..i'm just waking up from sleep..can't think right now
-i didn't make a mistake with the gpa thing. the issue is that in my bank, most guys below a 3.6 didn't leave their gpa's on when it came down to the resume books. HR actually tells you that you should send a resume in for the resume book, for that you could take off your gpa. There are a couple resumes that don't have gpa's on it so i didn't take those guys into consideration. Hope this explains the high average. If i was to give those guys who don't have gpa's on their resume for the resume book, the avg would probabaly drop to a 3.61 or therebouts.
-the secret to banker chics. the ones that come in during the internship period and stuff are super not pretty...they work so hard during their first year only to make a lot of cash then head under the knife and they come back in the associate yr's looking so hot and beautiful. that's why at the start all the gurls that join are not even things excel would be proud of, giving its greatness.
what other online programs did you use besides deal maven and factiva?
I hate the tools at work. I especially hate the ones that for some reason think they have to agree with every damn thing your manager states, and report on how other analysts are doing because he feels he needs to. Every one should go to work on Monday, and during lunch SLAP the biggest tool in their face. okay maybe not, but only for your career's sake.
Good post...keep 'em coming...
good post!
but what can u expect?
good post
haha, the Wharton kids are harmless. You just need to show them you're just as good (or better) at fin. and Excel then they'll shut up.
nice piece.........would love hearing more from you
good post. be positive and approach everything as a learning experience. of course you will encounter people like the upenn girl in the industry--it is a dog eat dog world... find the people that you click with and form alliances with them...
i think you really need to nail down the accounting stuff because it is the basis of what bankers do every day... good luck dude
Damn, your post almost turned my fuckin' stomach. The realization is just sinking in that in about a month, I'm gonna be spending the next two years with these kinda tools.
Good God, how much I hate most of these IB douchebags.....
^be careful not to become on O_O
^^ wtf is an O_O
I think its a wide-eyed face?
asian ghey
dude you touch on so many pts that even come out from arrogant assholes on this site as well. Ivy's can be boring and douche bags, but so can some of these cocky people who think they piss in a better pot because they can put a BB firm name down. Same with at the VP level, everyone keeps trying to measure the size of their johnson through how much they can crap on people and make them feel like idiots...the Upenn chick just epitomized that.
Im not saying all, just stereotyping a few. :-)
Let me guess the Penn girl was Asian? I go to Penn and the only people that act that way are Asian (especially the Asian women).
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