Struggling with Contentedness
What are ways which you stay grounded and not looking for greener grass? Increasingly I have started to notice myself desiring a different career (intelligence work mostly or LO AM), despite everything being amazing. I interned with a great group with solid exits, met nice and chill people, hours full FT are only 60, and love the city. I have no issues but my mind keeps drifting. I have seen how other analysts have done the same only to end up hating their currently role and thinking that MF PE in the only thing that matters.
All of this to say, how do you stay happy with your current role?
I have the exact opposite problem. I’m way too content/satisfied with my current role. My $.02 on what keeps me content:
1) Genuine appreciate for the people I work with and for. Literally everybody is incredibly accommodating, unquestionably on my side, and works hard to make me look better and be better. That is NOT guaranteed in any “magical exit” I dream of.
2) Interest in the industry I cover. Even the relatively boring tasks or the late night work is interesting because it’s actually in an area I would be proud to build experience in and contribute to over the next 10, 20, 40 years. This is NOT a guarantee in any fantastical exit.
3) Gratitude for just how bad and uncertain things were for me in the past, and how that compares to how good and stable things are now. I probably have everything that most humans want, and if not, I’m definitely on that path. Comparing to the known past and to the known bottom 98% of humanity, rather than comparing to the amorphous future after some allegedly incredible exit and the unknown 2% that are better off (we think).
4) Accepting that you never know your “line” until you hit it. I thought I wanted to be a BSD PE partner, yet it turns out even making ~$170k mostly checks off the “money” box in my mind. I literally just need to keep doing what I’m doing to double, triple that in this field. I’m starting to accept that my line is much lower than I initially thought. There isn’t actually THAT much I want to buy with more money. Nowadays I often explore the idea of making a purchase only to realize wait a second, I don’t even want this. This would only make my life more cluttered and complicated. I have an even more astute sense of how stupid most purchases I’ve dreamt of are. In fact time is moreso the limiting factor of what I wanna do (combat sports, read more, enjoy more movies, get fit, look good, spend time with friends, a good woman). So what the fuck do I NEED $2mm a year for, to buy 17 rolexes? A Gucci jacket? A fuckin ice sculpture of myself? A pet tiger? (Note: of course more money is nice. I want money but I don’t have a visceral need for more that keeps me unhappy.)
5) Enjoy the very human experience of considering how life could be different. Don’t let it become a source of anxiety or dread. Whenever I think of a different role I avoid the idea that I’m missing out and that life could be SO much better. Rather I use the thought to confirm that I have agency, and that I COULD make a change, and that I’m in my role because I WANT to be. This way of thinking makes it easy to process those “what if” thoughts over a couple days rather than brooding for months. It helps you feel like you’re in control.
MF PE is honestly the only thing that matters if you ever want to reach total comp that isn't a joke (20mm).
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A few thoughts from somebody that moved to 'greener grass' just to find out restlessness doesn't just disappear.
Think hard about what causes your mind to drift - is it that a) your current role is not close enough to what you really want to do with your life, b) you as a person have a tendency to always plan ahead / think of the next step or c) your current role is not seen as 'peak' by peers that you want to impress?
Context: I moved after 2Y at a large REPE firm at analyst level primarily because I thought I wanted to do another asset class and not specialize early on.
Looking back at the pros/cons of moving, these are a few variables that I over/underestimated when I moved:
Long story short, put together a list including items above and think very hard whether any of the above items give more weight to a move vs. staying. If so, don’t obsess with the decision but give it half a year to make sure you are really 100% sure.
There is nothing worse than regretting a move/thinking of what if scenarios because your mind will be spinning.