Not Treated Well by Other Interns
I’m genuinely in a weird spot right now. There are times when another intern and I speak normally, and we’ll say hey, whats up, all that.
But in group discussions I can say something and people just ignore me. Or if a group of interns are talking and I come over to say something to try getting along, I just straight up get ignored while they respond to other people. It’s so odd, bc it’s not like I’m interrupting people or talking over them, so I feel weirdly shunned by the intern class.
Honestly tho, I don’t rly see myself becoming tight with any of them just bc of how different in personalities we are. But still, I’ve never had this type of thing happen before, and I get along well with full-timers, so I know it’s not like a lack of corporate etiquette or anything like that.
Almost feels unsalvageable bc everytime I try to include myself, it just falls flat. I plan to lateral to a different bank anyway once I’m full time, but still I’d rather not have my first yr of working be awkward.
Kinda curious how I should go abt this, or if I should just treat work as work. Sucks bc I heard ppl made great friends as analysts from ppl before me.
Weird. Not like it matters (would be pissed if our interns excluded one of their own regardless) but, are there any obvious discrepancies between you and the others? Are you the only non-target? Only target? Only one from out-of-state? Show up later than everyone? Only non-white/asian? Take all the “jump balls” that analysts throw up and leave no work for the rest? Leave earlier than the rest? Only one who talks about family connections/wealth? Only non-wealthy intern? Only sweat in the office? Only intern with external hobbies?
Context would be helpful. There’s usually always something, but regardless, don’t mind them and don’t let that get to you. They obviously aren’t the ones making any decisions at the end of the day, and best to just focus on connecting with your ANs/ASSs.
I was grinding my gears trying to figure out possible points of differences, but there just aren’t any. I’m of a common race in banking and in my group, I went to a school of similar tier as my peers, most of us are out of state, and nothing regarding wealth/connections/work rly sets me apart from the rest of them.
But yea, ig their approval doesn’t rly matter for this summer. Still, it’d be nice to have some friends here in this city, and I can’t rly meet anyone outside this bubble when spending majority of my time in this office.
Just man up
Alexa play blood theme from Dexter
There’s always a reason …
I didn’t wanna be the guy but that is true
Just stay true to yourself and be nice. They just colleagues you don't need to be friends with them its not by force. Just focus on getting that return offer and keep it moving.
It is unfortunate because as you said, the bullpen is an awesome bonding experience with a good group.
Sadly, you're not going to get along with everybody you work with. Just be professional and move along.
Unfortunately when you are in an industry when you need to ego stroke other people to get ahead or kiss ass you gotta figure out how to resolve this since other wise you won’t go far in finance or better yet any where in life. So go figure out how to be liked by them and win their approval fast
yo dm me for a deal looks like u need this one bud
This happens. It’s not you, and good on you for being persistent. A lot of these kids can just be snobs.
They might be being bitches and trying to ice you because they want to get a return offer instead of you. Says more about them than about you. Just be yourself, get the return offer and then you’re chilling.
Idk some will just constantly give you the cold shoulder and others I’m very chill with, really depends. I don’t take it personally, just a job
Honestly, fuck ‘em. If your intern circle consists of nobody’s & what not, you’ll sail through just fine. Don’t be a people pleaser just because of this experience. I assume this is your first internship out from high school. There’s just going to be cases of people not being able to “gel” with you. If you didn’t do anything wrong & don’t think you have fk’ed up somewhere, don’t bother wasting your time trying to fit in.
Most of the time, if your fellow intern class do not get along, you’d probably end up not getting along to each other until in middle career stages
What's different about your personality vs. the other interns? You mention them being very different. That may be it...
Honestly, it may just take more time / I wouldn't really worry about it or let it get to you. Just try to find some way to connect with everyone. If group dynamics are harder, focus on individuals.
Would note, if you are the perpetually online type or have super strong political views, obviously tone both down in the office. The only time I've seen people permanently alienate themselves is by contantly talking in internet slang. Or something like having openly anti Israeli views or supporting MAGA/tea party.
Wall street typically loves MAGA wtf r u talking abt trying to alienate the majority of the street.
lol, have you actually started working full time?
Just thug it out twin get dat return offer
dude who gives a f. only beta ppl care about what other ppl think of them. just be an alpha and crush the job and whatever you do in life. once you are at a certain position then those beta ppl will just suck up to you anyway (not that it matters)
most of the time you'll find people you gel with at work, but sometimes it can happen that you actually don't get along well with anyone enough to become friends. Assuming it's not you lol. If it's not just keep looking to make friends. Go to intern bars or networking events by yourself and maybe you'll meet other cool interns.
Confidence. Confidence. Confidence. Ts is like a magic power and it really does work that way. Just flip the switch.
Sometimes people get ignored depending on the context and culture. Many are there to self-serve their own interests and there's a "group think" mentality that takes time to adjust to. Internships are competitive and not everyone gets a return offer. In these cases, there's an unspoken "runt" of the litter, but over the months - this moves around. Sometimes the confident rebel everyone likes in the beginning is the most popular, but ends up being unreliable and without an offer. Sometimes the quiet and reliable one in the beginning ends up having too many drinks at a happy hour and says something horrific to an MD one week before the end of summer.
If you are someone that frequently vents about issues or bring up office politics as a way to generate comradery with a group that is very type-A, some will take it poorly and ignore you. If you have mentioned interest in lateraling already and others aren't onboard with the same mentality, they might already view you as someone not worth building a relationship with.
In contrast, If you're in an office of people that kind of all hate it there and they have developed a "us" vs "them" mentality, and you're someone that's strikes up conversations by being super jolly and grateful about the opportunity - you'll be seen as the "make-a-wish" intern and they won't feel comfortable venting around you.
In your situation, to get along with either intern group and already developing a good relationship with full-timers, operating in a detached state while also being viewed as the "go-to" that can remain calm under pressure will have others naturally gravitate towards you.
Ut itaque optio laboriosam commodi est sit. Inventore assumenda officiis deserunt et excepturi dolorem labore. Quis possimus eos inventore occaecati qui nisi dignissimos. Error accusamus recusandae amet voluptas et culpa eum provident. Consectetur inventore necessitatibus quae aut non.
Pariatur omnis quia ea tempore et ut. Eius modi ad accusamus sit. Ea qui ut perspiciatis vero. Veritatis sed minus sunt soluta. Impedit rerum perferendis eum impedit. Et ipsum harum distinctio vel voluptates tempora perferendis sed. Cumque possimus ut inventore quasi at reiciendis.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Eum odit fugiat et velit. Nostrum voluptate nesciunt et qui cumque minima omnis. Aspernatur assumenda ea praesentium. Debitis delectus non aut in quam. Vero sequi quibusdam qui voluptas cum placeat aut. Fugiat enim est culpa sint fuga sit ullam.
Id assumenda est sint. Enim odit iure sit nihil est alias velit. Quo voluptatem vitae quas exercitationem iste.