The Types of Investment Banking Summer Analyst Applicants

As an incoming summer analyst at a BB this summer in London who has applied two years in a row, I am no stranger to the application process and the types of people that it attracts. At its best, IB applicant culture is a great way to make friends and make use of very niche inside jokes/phrases. At its worst, it is the most toxic, dog-eat-dog world shit you have ever seen. These are some of the key types of people I've seen throughout my long and arduous journey /s.

The CV Hunter

Will sell their soul for an extra bullet point on their CV. This person only sees things in black and white (pun intended) and has never sought out any hobby out of personal interest. Can often be seen wearing Polo Ralph Lauren around campus and you will see him at every networking event, sipping their champagne in the corner of the room.

The LinkedIn Slut

If there was a networking event on campus that you missed, this guy/girl will make sure to remind you as you peruse LinkedIn. Often seen holding a notepad to record names of HR and analysts they met and tag them later. More active on LinkedIn than facebooks. Can often be spotted liking Asim Qureshi posts.

The STEM Guy

Someone who does Physics/Maths/Comp Sci/Engineering who has recently discovered IB. Will make you feel very insecure about your candidate strength from their 60 million A*s at A-Levels or their perfect SAT score. You find solace in the fact that they only discovered finance recently, else there'd be no spots available. Usually very tall and white.

Rich Singaporean Girl

If you don't have one of these in your IB networking events, you don't go to a target school. Had PE experience before coming to university. Dresses extremely well.

The UBS Guy

The definition of 'above average but nothing special'. These people can take all shapes and sizes, but they will be categorically above average in a lot of things like Grades, Social Skills and Work Experiences, but nothing that in isolation will truly shock you. Make no mistake, they are probably better than you at Math if they passed the UBS online test. It just makes sense to you that they don't go to an American BB or anything worse like a DB (#FreeDBInternPay)

The Fake God

Has 2000 Spring Week offers, including every EB. Notably, Goldman is absent. Typically very, very Rich. This guy is very much style over substance. He can finesse his way into anything. You're grateful that he isn't trying to sell you a car. Very, very wealthy. Will 100% be a future politician.

Chad

Actually a god. Unbelievably good looking. Does a Varsity sport and is usually 10 feet tall. Makes you question your own sexuality.

The Person who Deserves it

Very, very hard worker. Matured a lot throughout the years of trying to break into banking and finally did it. Usually a great friend, extremely personable and super fun at parties. Feels very genuine. Extremely good technical questions. Will never break into Top 3 however. You and him will get along very well.

The list goes on but these are some of the more relatable ones I feel. You have the WSO hardo who thinks technical questions alone will get you in etc and is extremely elitist, but you should know about those by now.