Theoretical: What would be your dream career choice assuming it paid the same as Investment Banking?
| +261 | Earliest you can get fired | 56 | 8h |
| +250 | UBS’s M&A BANKERS ARE DOING TERRIBLY. $200M EXTRA IS BEING CUT | 47 | 1h |
| +228 | Investment Banking is Divine | 38 | 12h |
| +223 | Career Crossroads | 31 | 17h |
| +214 | US 2027 SA IB worried about background check | 52 | 23h |
| +206 | Analyst: Why is UBS IB doing worse than peers?, UBS CFO: No Comment | 41 | 10h |
| +203 | Another $115bn Mega deal for these banks. Congrats! | 44 | 36m |
| +110 | Is UBS really that bad? | 32 | 1h |
| +37 | Is Houston SA 28 recruiting already over? | 32 | 12h |
| +23 | Sweat Group 2026 Discussion | 24 | 12h |
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Golf Course Superintendent
.
Videogame critic
Helping people understand basic concepts with money can really liberate someone's life and make them feel confident in taking control of their future. Seeing decent people make terrible financial decisions (unknowingly) kills me inside. Make it rain on hookers and blow if you want, just don't call it an investment. One of my colleagues bought his house back in '08 and has paid something like $5,000 off his mortgage to date but has no concept on how important interest rates/down payment %'s are. Scary. A lot of people are living very stressful check-to-check lives but don't actually need to.
And he works as an investment advisor? Obviously private financials don't translate into investment advisory talent but wtf
Okay buddy, save it for your cover letter
edit
Your mums personal masseur
Op-ed writer, or something like that.
It would be nice to have Tom Friedman's job where you get to travel the world first class in luxury hotels, and then make observations about the state of humanity that consist entirely of strings of meaningless buzzwords.
Dive master
cabana boy surf brand buyer/tester boat captain travel/food/wine writer
Hang gliding instructor.
Travel blogger
Global luxury hotel reviewer
Exactly, I wouldn't be staying in shit digs.
Anthony Bourdain's job.
Haha, I was going to say Guy Fieri's job (sans the ridiculous hair, douchebag goatee, and all of the yelling, of course). Just drive around eating all kinds of fun shit until my heart explodes.
I'd take Jeremy Clarkson's job. Driving supercars and talking shit all day is really all I want to do in life.
Nice try Bernie, take your socialism elsewhere
Professional hunter
a few careers I've always (secretly) envied:
...what the hell, man
Lol
By axe, I mean I want to slay guitars though. Not like that sicko who posted above you.
being a travel blogger always seemed amazing to me crazy that people like jack morris make six figures travelling the world and posting pictures to his blog/instagram
Sports Analyst for the NBA.
Stephen A. Smith shows that he is essentially the weather man of NBA predictions, fucks it up royally each year with the utmost confidence - is still employed, no doubt on a solid salary and would get to meet these phenomenal athletes.
For me it would be enough to just do the Top 10/Top 5 everyday, tbh
stay at home dad
Yup.
I'm not a fan of jobs.
When I was young, I fantasized about entering hedge fund, perform outlandishly and retire early. Then, make a mark as a college professor in some sort of scientific subject.
Astrophysicist - I think the universe is fascinating, and it'd be awesome to study it for IBD cash.
Private equity
So your dream job is to work in PE for IB pay? Nice.
Lmao. Laughed hard at this one.
You know those guys that have made their money, are half-retired and sit on 3-5 boards? All the intellectual stimulation of thinking about strategy and growing businesses from a high level, with none of the day-to-day garbage to have to power through. That's the dream.
porn critic
Why settle for being a critic?
There was actually an article written by some girl whose dad was a porn critic.... interesting read lol
Border narcotic purity tester
TODOS sabemos que Ciudad Juárez tiene los MEJORES narcóticos!
Run my own Motorcycle race workshop and race bikes professionally.
You can't take me away from the game.
Writer Serial killer Conspiracy theorist Warlock of Wizengamot King of the Orcs Protoss High Templar
Baseball scout
blimp pilot would be chill
Homicide detective
High-End Strip Club Owner/HR Manager.
...you're a wizard harry
Running Paddy's pub
I wouldn't mind doing Charlie work all day for an IB paycheck
Agreed. Drinking all day and coming up with stupid plans sounds like a blast
POTUS or amateur golfer. One requires intense concentration, forethought, tactics, and effort, while the other simply a unique haircut.
Professional bodybuilder
Does what Dan Bilzerian does count as a "job"? "Social media personality" is totally a job in 2017, right?
*Social Media "Influencer"
You know the next Holocaust is going to happen with that "Nazi" Emperor PewDiePie at the helm right?
I think his "job" is being a veteran corporate raider's son/trust fund recipient.
Military intelligence officer
That's what's up
Historian/professor.
Serial Entrepreneur. That IB-level cash flow will be my downside protection.
Head brewer at a craft brewery
One of those car youtubers like MrJWW, Shmee150, and SeenThroughGlass. I would want to drive beautiful cars in beautiful locations for the rest of my life. And of course get paid for sharing my experiences.
hahaha
Pro drift car racer Adult film director/producer Restaurateur Clothing designer Lobbyist (most likely)
MMA fighter
Jeremy Clarkson's job Politician Global affairs analyst Test pilot for Lockheed
Gordan Ramsay's job... Given the fact that I already cuss a lot, might as well get paid for it. And I love FOOD!
Murder
The dude that finger bangs high school chicks at the doctors office to make sure they don't have aids
Dude that's pretty fucked up
Political provocateur.
Whatever job will allow me to yell at people / be super critical all day without repercussion.
Like a drill sergeant. Without the drills.
Being a therapist is hard, dudes. People expect way too much empathy / unconditional regard / etc. Makes me yearn for finance some days.
Johnny Sins
I'd rescue stray dogs, cats, etc. Would love to open an animal sanctuary in a rural area.
Alright I laughed a bit too hard at this one. +1
screenwriter
Wall Street Oasis "content" creator
IG model
I would like to have Ed Razek's job, but I think he makes more than IB pay. Getting to see VS titties when he commands it is like the epitome of Paradise.
Organized crime, better exit opps anyway
Film director. It includes all sort of arts.
Either Anthony Bourdain's job, or being a soccer scout for Juventus
1) Runaway model 2) Tennis Pro 3) Male Escort
A college rowing coach
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