Tier Lists are Paradise

You’re a junior at a nontarget. You just signed your SA offer at Natixis next summer and have been spending winter break trying to hype up Natixis by covertly including it in wso posts with better banks. MM’s are underrated, you post, citing William Blair, Houlihan, and Natixis as examples of top MM’s that you claim are just as good as BB’s and EB’s. Oh look, you just got a notification. Someone just told you Natixis isn’t as good as GS. Quickly you switch to your other account. Hehe, you grin as “Managing Director in Investment Banking - M&A” insults poster by calling them “intern”. That’ll show them. Natixis is a bank to be respected. Weeks pass. You’ve been looking forward to new years. It’s the best night of the year. But you’re not planning on going out. No, you’re looking forward to it because you’re going to post the official 2024 tier list, the first one of the year. You’ve been meticulously planning this out for weeks, incorporating data from all the best sources: Vault, Reddit, and freshmen at your nontarget. As soon as the clock strikes twelve, you hear fireworks go out outside. At the same time, fireworks go off in your head as you click “post”. Adrenaline rushes your veins. “2024 Investment Banking Tier List” is officially up. Instantly, you’ve got all your WSO alt accounts open, ready to defending your selections in the comments. Yet nobody responds. You stay up all night, waiting desperately for someone to respond on January 1st, but nobody does. It’s not until next evening that people start to respond. One asks why you have PJT ranked on the same tier as BNP Paribas. Quickly, you switch to your MD account to tell them off. “This is based off of a lot of different rankings…” you smugly spout, asserting an MD’s authority as your own. “What dare they say to THAT,” you think to yourself. Another person asks why Natixis is in the same tier as Blair. You respond, but soon other people start piling on. You resort to the ultimate fallback: “Intern”, you spam, attempting to insult people with the role that you yourself have not achieved yet. Soon, the thread is flooded in your “Intern” insults and frustrated, people have stopped responding. Proud that you have posted the first and official 2024 investment banking tier list, you relax, after a hard day’s work on the internet. Tier lists are paradise.