Toxic Workplace?
I’m a first year analyst at a mid-sized office and had a terrible experience working with someone senior to me by a few years.
They made a lot of passive aggressive comments and made me fearful of asking them questions as a new analyst, and even threatened me with my review a few times. I’m suspicious they’ve turned a few people against me that they’re close to as well, as these people won’t acknowledge me.
For a while, I had terrible self doubt and felt that I was not cut out for the job. I considered quitting many times because of this person, as I was stuck on a deal with them and had to communicate with them all hours of each day. My mental health was on the floor due to this person alone. I thought I was the problem but come review time, I was rated as highly personable and that everyone (including this person?) wanted to work with me again.
Has anyone experienced this? It’s a soul crushing job in itself let alone having to work with someone who makes you hate yourself and question everything, as well as turns people against you. How did you deal with it?
if they said they want to work with you it sounds like you might just be letting your anxiety get the best of you and reading too much into potentially benign comments and creating scenarios that aren’t true (turning people against you).
Oops I definitely didn’t provide enough clarity but later on we had some late nights in the office together where we got along or perhaps they were afraid to treat me the same way (previously we were only online). I treaded very carefully with this individual when we worked in person and our relationship shifted. Regardless of that, the experience has still negatively impacted me and I’ve worked with others and never have had such a poor experience. I’m pretty confident it’s not just in my head.
So sorry you went through this, but i can definitely relate in some ways.
I’d suggest saying something to your staffer. I
Thanks, that’s great advice. I think to some extent my staffer might be somewhat toxic at times but it may not hurt to try in a scenario where I’m brought to being close to quitting.
I would put out feelers and see if other juniors feel the same way about this person. The times I’ve come across a jerk in actual real life, I’ve found many other juniors feel the same way.
Once you confirm that he is indeed the problem and it’s not all in your mind, I would reach out to a senior you are close. A vp staffer or a highly regarded senior associate or an MD you’ve done good work for. Then in a casual setting, like over drinks, ask for “advice” on this person and how to deal with them. From your question likes your asking for advice because you’ve never come across such a jerk before. Mention again it’s off the record.
The point of asking for this advice, is that now a senior person you trust is aware that you have an issue wit mj the jerk. Chances are they will also quietly mention it to others they are close to. So in the future, if the jerk tries to slander you or throw you under the bus or something people will be aware that you’ve already had friction with this person and will take his complaints with a grain of salt.
I’ve seen jerk analysts and associates get burned using my strategy. It’s worked 2/2 times. I’m not saying my strategy was why they got fired, probably they just kept being a jerk to everyone and eventually word got around but I like to think I helped.
I have yet to find a good strategy for a jerk director or MD.
I think once they get to that level, it’s much harder to unseat them.
This is really great advice - much appreciated. Thanks for the clarity here and unfortunate to see that people like this are commonplace, but great that your method was effective.
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