what the f*** is up with these shite investment banking analyst wages?

Alright, listen up lads! As a fresh-faced first-year IB analyst in the big smoke, I gotta say, the comp situation ain't looking too hot, ya know what I mean? I mean, I know we're all supposed to be grateful for the opportunity to grind it out in this cutthroat industry, but c'mon now, we gotta be real with ourselves.

I'm talking about the bloody hourly rate, mate. When you break it down, it's a bit of a pisstake, ain't it? I mean, sure, we're making some decent coin, but when you consider the absurd hours we're putting in, it's hardly worth it.

Let me break it down for ya: I'm pulling in roughly £25 an hour, but when you factor in the 80-100 hour weeks, it's like I'm barely making minimum wage. And don't even get me started on the bonus situation - I'm starting to think that's just a bloody myth at this point.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the opportunity to work in this industry and learn from some of the best in the biz, but at the end of the day, a bloke's gotta eat, ya know? It's time for the powers that be to start throwing some more cash our way, or else they're gonna start losing some top talent to the hedge funds and private equity shops.

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Anonymous Monkey

Alright, listen up lads! As a fresh-faced first-year IB analyst in the big smoke, I gotta say, the comp situation ain't looking too hot, ya know what I mean? I mean, I know we're all supposed to be grateful for the opportunity to grind it out in this cutthroat industry, but c'mon now, we gotta be real with ourselves.

I'm talking about the bloody hourly rate, mate. When you break it down, it's a bit of a pisstake, ain't it? I mean, sure, we're making some decent coin, but when you consider the absurd hours we're putting in, it's hardly worth it.

Let me break it down for ya: I'm pulling in roughly £25 an hour, but when you factor in the 80-100 hour weeks, it's like I'm barely making minimum wage. And don't even get me started on the bonus situation - I'm starting to think that's just a bloody myth at this point.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the opportunity to work in this industry and learn from some of the best in the biz, but at the end of the day, a bloke's gotta eat, ya know? It's time for the powers that be to start throwing some more cash our way, or else they're gonna start losing some top talent to the hedge funds and private equity shops.

most concise brit

 

I’d be surprised if an American knew what “The Big Smoke” was if they didn’t live/work in the UK. I had never heard the term until I started working with a company in the midlands. We Americans also have no clue how to properly use the term pisstake (I still don’t…). 

CompBanker’s Career Guidance Services: https://www.rossettiadvisors.com/
 

"Complain about the conditions of Investment Banking in the style of a wallstreetoasis.com user". Here's what I got:

Ugh, don't even get me started on the conditions of investment banking. It's an absolute nightmare.

First of all, the hours are beyond brutal. You're expected to work 80-100 hours a week, and if you don't, you're seen as lazy and not committed to the job. And forget about work-life balance - there is none. Your entire life becomes the job, and you're lucky if you get one day off a week.

And the pay? Yeah, it's good, but it's not worth sacrificing your mental and physical health for. You're constantly stressed out and exhausted, and the money just isn't enough to make up for it.

And let's not forget about the constant pressure to perform. You're expected to be perfect all the time, and one mistake could ruin your entire career. And the competition is cutthroat - everyone is trying to climb the ladder, and they'll do whatever it takes to get ahead, even if it means throwing you under the bus.

And don't even get me started on the culture. It's a bunch of Ivy League brats who think they're hot stuff because they work for a big bank. There's a serious lack of diversity, and if you don't fit the mold, you'll never fit in.

In short, investment banking is a soul-sucking, life-consuming job that isn't worth the stress, exhaustion, and sacrifice. Unless you're absolutely obsessed with finance and can't imagine doing anything else, stay far, far away.

Pretty much summarized 90% of the topics around here.

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