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Unpopular opinion - having a home bigger than 5000 square feet is fucking stupid unless you already have FU levels of money or live in a flyover state like Missouri. The average American house is already very big compared to the rest of the world. I can get wanting amenities, land, pool, gym, SEX DUNGEON, tennis court, etc, but realistically, if you'd rather spend years of your life working away from family to have an obscenely big house instead of just a really big house, your perspective is kind of messed up. The marginal utility of that extra square footage goes way down after 2000 square feet anyways, your time on this planet is way more valuable than whatever house you have.
I agree, I think I’m pretty close to having my ideal setup, although there are always things I’m missing. For me it’s similar to what I have, 3-4 bedroom apt in nyc (downtown area), 2.5k sq ft or so, relatively private building with some outdoor space and a few amenities. The biggest thing for me is privacy and having it feel like a home instead of a big commercial building with hundreds of people. I find that this is more than enough room and would feel uncomfortable with much more than 3-3.5k sq ft. Biggest thing that is missing is that amazing view, but many of those buildings are in areas I don’t enjoy (by Central Park) or won’t even have a balcony.
The vacation home is the second part that I didn’t usually appreciate until now with covid. I have a second place in a very secluded area (Montana type place) that is nice to be able to escape the city. Think I would enjoy a ski destination though (Colorado at the top of my list), unsure if it is worth the investment as opposed to just renting a place when traveling (again can’t really do that right now).
But all of that makes me sound like a typical finance d*ck. If only one place, I love nyc, and have enjoyed my apt and the privacy and space more now than ever. As the post above me said you don’t need a ton of room, even with a family, just get a place you like with the nice touches/amenities/finishes you appreciate.
Watch the Netflix documentary, "Minimalism". https://www.netflix.com/title/80114460
Bigger =/= Better. They did a heat-map study in the documentary. In "McMansions", 90% of the time a family spent was in a highly limited set of rooms - kitchen, bedroom. Most of the house was entirely not utilized (yet you still have the mental and financial cost of maintaining everything).
When you own things like a big house (or nice car, nice watch, etc.) - more often than not they end up owning you than you owning it. It creates a huge mental burden in a lot of ways.
We've all been programmed in many ways to chase after a consumption-oriented life (big house, 'hot' spouse, nice jewelry, expensive cars, etc.). Take a minute and stop and think about why you want those things. Do they intrinsically have worth, or is it to satisfy some norm established by society? Be an independent thinker.
I often spend time on Zillow / other sites just browsing homes and a few months ago found my perfect dream home (https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/725-Cedar-Ln_Villanov…</a">link). It's in nicer Philly suburbs, nice plot of land, probably a tad too large in terms of square footage but there are some incredible rooms in that house.
The circle driveway is incredible as well and I think just all-around gorgeous.