flunking out with SA offer

I might get MS for this, but the kid didn’t do anything wrong, he just messed up and needs help getting back on the horse. I’m not proud to admit that I schemed my way through high school and college. Whether it was cheating, smooth talking teachers/students to my benefit, stealing tests, bribing professors, etc. I studied and got good grades, but there were times when I dropped the ball (like completely disregarding a research paper or not studying for a tough final) and required me to think of a solution. I say all this, because it sounds like you need to do this. You’re already accepting that you need to transfer, but in my opinion that is just giving up and will affect your career. Yes, it’s late in the semester and likely past the point where you can ‘withdraw with excuse’ from your classes, as universities call it. There is usually some sort of exception to this rule though. At my university, you could get around that rule with a dean’s approval. My advice would be to concoct an elaborate story - it needs to be well thought out. In this situation, you may even need to get your parents involved and come clean once you have a plan in place. Figure out who would need to approve your medical withdrawal, likely a dean, and then plan out what you’ll do. You’re only real option is something mental. Go to a psychiatrist or something and tell them everything they’d want to hear to diagnose you as basically having a drawn out mental breakdown and prescribe you medicine/give you proof of this. Obviously don’t take the meds. Then go to a Dean and explain what has happened. I had to do something like this and it required me to write a one page explanation to even get the meeting with the Dean. In today’s environment, it should be pretty easy to convince them. Cry ‘millennial’ to them and say how you’ve been struggling mentally, maybe even refer to this trading problem you have, but don’t say you’ve done well or you’ll lose the sympathy card. Explain that you have this SA job lined up and it will set you up for success, but the spot you’re in now could lead to losing that job, transferring to a lesser school, etc. Basically beg them to help give you a second chance and let you withdraw from those classes. Include proof from psychiatrist and even a letter from parents. I’d also make sure you use these trading profits to pay for the classes you flunked, if you’re not already doing so.