How do you deal with just being a failure

I’ve been recruiting for PE for multiple years now … have come fairly close in a number of processes . I also don’t really have any excuses since I was privileged to go to an Ivy and MBB

Just recently, I was really close in a process that I was very excited about (passed a long case etc ), just to get cut towards the end.

I feel super hopeless since I’ve had to do a secondment due to the conditions at my MBB, and have been told that getting one of these jobs while on secondment is really hard (which is part of why I was so excited to be getting so close at this other shop ).

I know that PE is held up as the be all end all in places like wso that is prob not healthy , but I genuinely think I would like it. At this point , given how I’ve been out of college for over 2 years , know that it’s prob not gonna happen; it just sucks being a failure

22 Comments
 

Yes fair enough , to be super specific , I just meant over a year / for the vast majority of the time i was at MBB.

I have thought of banking and would be open to it , but at this point i feel like I am too far out of college to go MBB->secondment ->banking ->pe

I’ve also tried to find a spot but it’s been tough there too , but good point, I should continue to push that avenue too

 

Took me 3 years of recruiting to make it happen.

Interviewed with over 40 funds in that span. Things changed when I realized PE is insanely competitive even more so given current market conditions. You need to play to your strengths.

Focus on funds that historically take consultants, are very operationally involve and aligned with the sector you’ve spent the most time in.

I made a list of all the funds that met what I viewed as my personal “competitive advantage” and then reached out to all of them. Probably sent ~300 emails and had over 50 conversations with people at multiple funds.

Landed at my current shop that way. You have to understand that you are competing with a completely different set of applicants vs banking/MBB. Everyone is talented, smart and driven.

Think deeply about how you can out compete everyone and what makes your unique value prop and focus deeply on funds that meet those criteria.

 

Everyone I know in PE currently around my age (25-27) is really getting grinded, in IB you find your footing and eventually have a good flow unless it’s a terrible group, but PE is a whole different beast. Always feel like someone’s breathing down your neck, though the work is more interesting. MBB pays a little less but you get to work with a much broader set of clients and focus on more than just financial engineering and S&M. Also I feel like MBB is so much more social than finance. Not the most rational jump in terms of pay progression but for QOL and longevity not a bad move 

 

You aren’t a failure. By the way, you aren’t anything. Identity is an emergent property of habits which are an emergent property of behaviors, so don’t use “I am” statements esp when so unfair to yourself. “Don’t talk about my friend that way,” as the saying goes.

Now: you need to get it out of your head that PE is where the best and brightest go to become immortal. It’s just not true. It has that rep I think because the original PE investors were some of the best and brightest of Wall St and had a bright idea and became immortal because of it. But now it is a job, and it is a job that ruthlessly selects only a particular type of person with very minimal exceptions. Even as MBB backgrounds become more common in some firms, that still cuts your chances at a PE job by a LOT by just not being a banking analyst SOMEWHERE.

You might never get a job in PE, or you might. But if you don’t, and we disaggregate why: you are clearly smart, you are pedigreed, but (i) your background decreases the probability of mutual interest in a PE firm; and (ii) you are in a tough market. This is a market where it is probably very hard to land a spot when you are already competing only for like ~5-10% of PE seats as the vast majority are reserved for banking analysts. Compound that with a desired geo and it’s just an outside 3 pointer.

I know you probably know all of that and I know it wasn’t helpful to hear it, but my point is — you should remain objective, even when it comes to yourself and the mountains you have built in your mind from your attempts to climb them, which I know can be the hardest thing to evaluate objectively.

 

You’re sounding like giveadvisepls a bit rn. Do you realize that Ivy + MBB or GS TMT for example is just the checkbox now? It’s a different world, life in general is just competitive. You’re not a failure and you can’t use breaking into PE as your proxy for success. I also went to a top target, there was this kid at our school that everyone clowned because he didn’t go into high finance or consulting because that’s what our school was designed to bread. Guess what, he’s now at $5MM in ARR working for himself, and I’m confident he’ll get to $10MM soon. Making more than any private equity associate at these MFs who will likely get burnt, churned and pushed out by the end of the two year point to go onto “the next venture” or whatever story they’ll sell. This guy doesn’t work anyone, and he could give less of a shit what the world thinks of him.

You need to get your head out of your ass with this prestige shit, and I say this kindly. At the end of the day, there are people far richer in different industries that you and I wouldn’t know about, and they have freedom to not worry about this bullshit. I didn’t intend on making this comment about entrepreneurship this is not what I’m saying, but at the end of the day we’re just W2 employees for an office job.

You have an ivy undergrad and you worked at MBB. You made it far in processes that less than 1% of the world could get invited to. It’s just competitive. You’re not a failure. Now kindly shut the fuck up, gets some perspective and quit bitching. I say this in good faith.

 

Why do you have a hard-on for PE, do you even know what the job entails and critically, do you know even what parts of the job blow and whether you’d be able to put up with them?

You sound like you are the type of person who can get stuck in a grass is always greener mindset if you’re not careful. Not happy with Columbia, you could’ve gone to Harvard. Not happy with McK Boston, you could’ve been in NYO. Don’t think you can recruit for banking, you’re too old.

Bro you have only been able to legally drink for less than five years. Get out of your own head and realize your life is decades away from being over. Oh and stop being a little whiny prestige whore bitch; that’ll go a long way as well

 

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