Recruiting successfully does not mean happiness
Landed a GS offer in NY this recruiting cycle - I'm extremely grateful that the recruiting grind is finally over which gave me some time to reflect on this whole process of gunning.
I personally know people who will be going to MS NY, Evercore Menlo, and GS NY this summer and I used to think they have it all and if I were to have an offer like theirs, I'd be complete as a human.
However, I recently found out that these people are struggling internally too and some even have existential crisis about whether they are truly happy with where they are in life but can't talk about it because they are suppose to be the people that won this cruel game of recruitment.
I've been feeling low too - I've always thought that once I land a good offer at a good firm - I’d be happy. But I’m not. I survived the recruiting grind but at what cost? Mild depression, my anxiety levels are always through the roof even until now, and a fucked-up diet.
I think about moments when I was a kid when my greatest achievement was being able to finish a coloring book within a day, my mom will be cooking in the kitchen, and she will come in and pick up my coloring book and tell me I've done a wonderful job.
Over and over again.
I felt similar to you last year until I talked to my dad. He said your goals will always move up the pendulum. Once you achieve something, your next goal will always be grander and that’s a good mentality. Don’t get complacent. In high school you maybe dreamed of getting into a target. Once you go to college, it was internships. Once you graduate, you goals would be different.
BUT
You will never be happy if you don’t appreciate what you. Take a moment to appreciate how far you have come. You are in top 1% of college students and people our age. Appreciate the health, career, and friends you have. Life will always go on. You can change your diet right now and be healthier with just simple changes. Enjoy college and don’t worry about jobs and get some cooch
I genuinely appreciate your advice. Life indeed goes on and I want to live happier. Also I’m a 20Y Female so I won’t be getting any cooch any time soon LMAO but I get your point :)
Of course you don’t feel happy, you’re S&T
If you land GS TMT NYC will you be truly happy
No GS TMT offer?
It’s weird as fuck to have IB as your personality
its a joke lil S&T bro
I once read a poem (I can't find it but it's lodged vaguely in my memory so I take no credit for this) which I think about sometimes.
It goes a little like (and I'm adapting for this forum): "There once was a man. He had the best parents, he went to the best school, he kept the best notes, he got the best grades, he went to the best university, he studied the best subject, he got the best results, he did the best internship, we went to the best bank, he was the best banker, he got the best bonus, he got the best wife, he got the best car, he had the best kids, he went on the best holidays, he had the best retirement, and then he died and had the best coffin."
I don't know what others read into that but for me it's helpful to breathe a bit, enjoy the moment and the experience of life, take things a bit less seriously, and appreciate what you have.
Guess what, you and I and many others bought into the lie of prestige, career success and money = happiness. It only gets worse from here bro. I was so bright in high school, now I will become a prestigious excel monkey. Every day I wish I picked a career that was more fulfilling, better WLB and intellectually challenging.Sometimes I feel embarrassed to tell people I’m going into IB because most of them know IB takes no technical skills or intellect and I feel like they know im only doing it for shallow reasons. My friends who are gonna be SWE or MLE are gonna find it rly funny when im slaving away in PowerPoint at 4 am while they kick back at 4pm making the same money I am, while being respected for the skills and smarts they have.
Also, I don't even need that much money to be happy. I don't have expensive habits or tastes. I literally only wanted to make a very high income for the validation I guess? I was so immature
Was your goal financial security? Then you should be euphoric after receiving an offer because you satisfied this need. Was your goal to feel superior to your university friends? If yes (sadly), then you should also feel euphoric because you impressed sophomores. Was your goal to get the highest-paid option out of university? Then you should also feel happy and proud. Did you just go into finance because you kept up with the Joneses at your university and you don't know what you wanted out of life? If yes, then why should come as a surprise to experience an existential crisis?
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
The humble brag posts are really off the charts these days.
Lands S&T offer at a BB and thinks, hmmm how can I tell people I think I'm the shit without being that direct? … aha got it! "Being the shit doesn't mean happiness".
Also this overall mentality is why a lot of people in "high finance" are intolerable and part of the reason why I hate this sector as a whole and can't wait to leave. Nobody is forcing you to fuck over every other aspect of your life so you can get a prestigious offer / be top bucket / etc. Yet all these hardos will still do it anyways, complaining about their hardships while simultaneously making zero effort to push back or reevaluate their career choices. News flash to those folks: you're a cuck to your job and one of the reasons why seniors think they can step all over us with no repercussions. If you're truly struggling as much as you claim, then stop chasing top offers / prestige / top bucket / top exit opps and let the other psychos continue down that path for the marginal dollar. Nobody is forcing you to suffer except yourself.
People are shitting on you but I know what you're getting at. When you've fixated on a goal for so long you don't really think about what comes after it. Or perhaps it's that we know that a great internship leads to a great career, which leads to lots of money, which leads to freedom, which better enables happiness. But when one of those steps requires a ton of work, we focus on that step completely and start to think that happiness will come as soon as we achieve that one step- we forget about the process.
I was in similar shoes a few months back- got told I would be getting a major promotion that I did not expect could happen for years. All those career paths I heard about, all those linkedin profiles looked at, all those guys who hit X title by Y age.... That would be me. I used to wonder if those guys just felt like ballers all the time, if their lives were just bliss. But then it happened to me. The first few days were bliss. Then my happiness reverted to the mean, and by the time the promo actually came through I was just as happy as before I knew it was coming. Less actually, because you always think that the version of you that is achieving your goals would be living some perfect life. But you get there and that person is still you. No transformational change happens- "that guy" is just you. It can be depressing.
There is research to show that happiness always does revert to the mean. Amputees eventually are just as happy as when they had all their limbs. Lottery winners eventually are just as happy as before they were rich. So you have to focus on raising your average, everyday happiness. Best way to do that is to practice gratitude, work on relationships, work on health. I'm currently working on the gratitude piece. It's all a journey.
Says the guy with all his limbs...
Bro felt the need to throw in the “I worked at GS too” lmaoooo
As someone who has struggled with recruitment for the last 8 months without any tangible success, I personally want to strangle you so badly.
Learn how to appreciate what you have. People who are still trying to find a job in the highly unfortunate economic cycle are also anxious and depressed, but we don't get any relief. On the contrary, my anxiety has been building more and more with each month and I'm terrified I won't be able to find a job at a decent place after losing so much time being unemployed.
You can always compare yourself to people like me to feel better and happier.