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You need to look inward my friend. Self reflection is good but if you're ONLY doing it after a series of negative outcomes that isn't good enough.
It sounds like you have strong drive and commitment to getting in the door (I can relate to that) but you're dropping the ball once you're in (I simply cannot relate to that). You've gotten a couple wake up calls, so maybe this is already happening, but you need to adjust your goalposts on what you consider an achievement. When you pull yourself up and land your next opportunity (don't worry, you will) you need to have the mindset that you've accomplished nothing. Now you focus on actually doing the job, establish yourself as someone who cares, build a reputation as someone who is reliable, take pride in what you're doing, focused, kind, not lazy etc. etc. etc. It doesn't matter if it's Goldman TMT or Northwestern Mutual, you need to prove to yourself that you can successfully complete the requirements of ANY job.
I graduated college with no internships, no offers, no uncle with a PE firm, and no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I took the first job I could get, worked my dick off and moved up. Used that experience to get the next job and did the same thing. Used that experience to get the next job and did the same thing.
One thing I've observed in my career is that people who genuinely care and genuinely give it there all are rarely fired. Dig in here, get some momentum going, get pucks in deep (jk), and in a few years you'll look back at this rough patch and laugh at how stupid you were (needing ChatGPT to help you articulate how being lazy and uninterested led to you being fired twice) LOCK IN BROTHER
Okay first off in my defense, I typed this myself but asked ChatGPT to format it for me. Yes, lazy and pathetic, but maybe a little less lazy and pathetic than originally thought.
Second - I need to lock in. I’m thinking of hobbies or part time jobs I can do to help develop the skills that I need. Maybe pick up a competitive sport again (competed D1 in college), or maybe work at a gym or library and work a boring slow job to teach my brain to care even when I’m not stimulated?
What you said really really hit home, and I really appreciate you taking the time to write it out. I’ll be rereading this everyday as I start my search again
I have a kind of broken ADHD brain too while still being very driven (like you clearly are), and I can say honestly that while it takes real work, it absolutely is worth it.
Lots of forces in society want you to be a lazy slob, including my brain most of the time, so it's genuinely hard to not be one. But all the stuff people say about regular and intense cardio exercise, a regular routine (no staying up past midnight), keeping in contact with your friends and relationships, avoiding alcohol and drugs as much as possible, avoiding garbage food and staying off your god damn phone and TikTok/junk content is absolutely crucial. You become what you do every day - if that's sit in front of a phone doing nothing productive consuming brainrot content, that's what you will become.
So my advice is start small. Make a good life and routine for yourself and build from there. Also you're 25. You absolutely can fuck up, this is the time to do it if you're gonna do it. Just realise that in 10 years, being in your current position is gonna suck like 100x more. Make that the motivation to get your life together now.
Go home and reset. Talk to a doctor about medication for ADHD - I was diagnosed in my late thirties and feel like a different person now that I'm on meds.
Start finding a hobby/something you love doing. You'll figure out the job stuff - doesn't have to be in finance/banking.
How did you get fired *for cause*? Did you do something bad?
No single bad thing in particular - a series of fuck ups
How are your people and social skills? Do you make an effort to work well with others and fit in? Doing the job itself isn't enough. Usually people will make an effort to help you succeed in the role and offer any support they can. Bad cultures exist but if you're getting written off so quickly and it's a repeating pattern then there's something wrong here.
Second this. OP people and first year analysts rarely get fired for performance and if they do it’s a shit shop because most shops give you about a year leeway before it becomes a problem. You’re probably not fitting in socially, most people get fired for not being liked not because of job performance.
Before this happened I would say that they are fine - but writing on the wall says clearly that the opposite is true.
I was very antisocial at my last shop partially due to wanting to later and also due to the fear of oversharing with juniors (culture was toxic and juniors were known to backstab). I realized that that probably was part of my downfall, and I made a big effort in this shop to be a ‘glue guy’.
Would try to always be in a good mood and positive, was making relationships with coworkers (played sports a bunch with a few and we’ve stayed in touch), invited coworkers to housewarming and they recuperated with an invitation to theirs, brought in food for the office after one of the holidays, etc.
I’m not saying the above to say that I was innocent, because I obviously am not. But I just don’t know what I could have done to rub people the wrong way. I thankfully have an amazing therapist who I’d like to dig into this with, and thank you for being honest about the social aspect being partially to blame. Maybe I should give this more examination than I originally planned
Sometimes we follow all the right steps, give our best effort, and do everything by the book, yet still fail. It’s a reminder that outcomes aren’t always within our control, even when our intentions and actions are. You may very well not have done anything wrong, just unlucky that you didn't fit into the environments you were placed in for whatever reason. If you did manage to offend people in some way, you might realize it later on after more reflection and experience. It's part of growing and maturing so don't sweat it too much.
Good luck, you'll be alright.
You're in a rut. "25, single, unemployed, and moving home"... read that again. How bad is that, really? You have the opportunity to take a second to recalibrate, spend time with your family (the most important thing by the way) and you're still young. You know what would be way worse? Being 40, divorced, fired/laid off from your job (and now the only options for you are jobs 1/2 or 1/3 of your salary - many such cases the past couple years especially in tech). To break into investment banking and work it for a year and a half proves your not lazy. Think about your high school class - How many do you think would put in the effort to do that?
Your brain is fine and there is nothing wrong with it. Use this time to eat healthy, get outside, workout, and keep working hard. You were a D1 athlete dude. You are obviously a very capable guy. You probably feel a lot of guilt about how this has turned out. I too struggle sometimes with focusing too much on the past. Its normal and okay.
You know exactly what you need to - you cannot be already viewing yourself as a failure. It's not easy but keep pushing and best of luck my friend.
Did you being fired “for cause” every come up during interviews or ding you during a process/background check?
Gave a feeling I will get let go soon for performance issues and want to know whether other employers are able to check this. Does is show up on my FINRA record (U5) ?
Yes and no.
First off, RECRUIT NOW.
I got lucky that it never came up on my U5, but as I bet you are well aware, having a red flag on your U5 as a junior is incredibly difficult to recruit out of.
Nevertheless, having a short stint as a junior is difficult to recruit from. I had interviews with half the banks and funds across the street and ended up with 1 offer after 5 months of hardcore applying. It was never exactly told to me that my banking stint being short was due to it, but people aren’t stupid. Quite the opposite, they’ve seen it all and you can’t fool anyone.
The street is small and people talk. The groups that I was most qualified for were, shockingly the group that I was fired from in banking. At the big banks, these groups are a few phone calls away from each other (ex. my MD worked with your MD at Lehman back in the day etc…).
Never lie, never hide the truth, and never bs. Karma is a bitch and lying only will bring you bad karma. Plus, it is way better to look immature and incompetent than a liar. I’m not sure if I’m the only one like this, but when I catch someone on a lie I can never trust them again and they begin to immediately disgust me.
That being said, also do not reveal more than you need to. If you end up getting let go, find mentors or headhunters or friends who can help you craft your story.
Good luck
Thanks for the answer: still need some clarity on the question though.
If I get fired “for cause” say because of “performance issues” , will that come up on my U5 or background check ?
Outside of the career-specifics, I’m in the same boat with the mental quirks.
Fact of the matter is, no matter what you do, you need to lock that down. Get your medication for the ADHD (make sure you trial until you find the right one), go do any treatment you need for the mental health side of things, etc
If you shove those problems under the rug they’re just going to keep rearing their head. It’s pretty hard to “just lock in” when you’re fighting against your brain all the time - medicating or otherwise dealing with those internal blocks is game changing.
I appreciate not wanting to make excuses - wholeheartedly agree - but trying so hard to ‘be completely normal’ is a fool’s game if you’re factually not.
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