Roast my (hopefully great) cold email format
I go to a target and am cold emailing alumni for SA26 internships and to learn more about the field and their experiences. Below is my cold email.
How is my cold email format?
Should I add something more about them to perosnalize it further ie international experiences, early finance beginnings etc or is it good as is? Should I research them to find comminialities with us or is that too much?
Is me mentioning my internships and finance projects a bad thing? Is it too forward/ bragging?
Dear Mr. X, My name is [Full Name), and I am a [University name] student majoring in Government and Economics. I am reaching out to you as I know you are a [univeristy name] alum and your career in [X IB sub field] has greatly inspired me. I am deeply interested in investment banking (particularly X field of IB), and am especially drawn to your bank due to its focus on X. I have gained valuable experience interning for Morgan Stanley and the U.S. Congress and by engaging in complex finance projects that have led to recognition in prominent financial media platforms. I appreciate how busy you must be, but I would greatly appreciate speaking with you for 10-15 minutes at your convenience. I’d love to hear more about your time at [University Name ] and your journey, role, and experience at [Bank Name]. Thank you so much for your consideration. Best regards, Name
“I ain’t reading all that”
Do you mean abt my questions or do you mean the cold email is too long lol.
the latter
"I am reaching out to you as I know you are a [univeristy name] alum and your career in [X IB sub field] has greatly inspired me."
Sounds very gay to say this to a MS analyst ngl
Lol fair enough. Should I say anything of that kind? Like maybe say “I’m particularly interested in your path from A to B” or maybe “how you did X”?
Fixed it for u
Dear Mr. X,
My name is [Full Name) and I'm studying Government and Economics at SCHOOL. I'd appreciate the chance to learn about your path from SCHOOL to Wall Street.
I am deeply interested in investment banking (particularly X field of IB), and am especially drawn to your bank due to its focus on X. I have experience interning for Morgan Stanley and the U.S. Congress and by engaging in complex finance projects.
I imagine you're busy, but I would greatly appreciate briefly speaking with you at your convenience.
Best regards,
Name
Thanks so much for doing this. So you’re saying I shouldn’t personalize it at all?
That is what your resume is for.
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