Short Emory

Ok, so I'm going to be an ungrateful piece of shit, but somewhat rightfully so.

I graduated from Emory University a few years ago (I'm not saying the year because I know people who go on here), the 21st best school in the nation according to U.S. News & World Report, but definitely, a fucking complete non-target for IB or anything else in business. And don't come and tell me that you knew some finance beast who went to Lone Pine or some insane firm after graduating. That kid simply should not have been at Emory. He was there for some other reason, maybe he was poor and got good aid, or because he liked Atlanta, or some other reason. He shouldn't have been there. Not to sound like a cocky POS, but I was one of those kids. When I was applying to colleges, I got into basically every school besides the top 5 ones. Think Northwestern, Dartmouth, Duke, Stern, UChicago, Cornell, UND, Berkeley, etc. So I wasn't a genius by any means, hey I'm in finance for fucksake, but I should not have been at Emory. I should've been at one of those schools. I only came here because I got really good merit financial aid. But, now having experienced the job placement capabilities from Emory, the lack of looks from firms because of my school, I'm telling you: don't come here if you care about a job.

Emory has this hype culture around it which I just don't understand. I remember when I was a little high school senior talking to people at different schools, kids at those schools I mentioned were genuine. They didn't say, "oh you can easily get into any IB firm from here." They were truthful. Their school would open doors, but you had to seize them. However, the one school that did say the former that was, you guessed it, Emory (Shitty Memory) University. Talking to the current students there, they hyped this fucking place up so much. They made the network seem incredible. The career office seem extremely helpful. The people seem super driven. But, I can certifiably say to you, that's all a sham. The network here is garbage. When I try to network with the few Emory alum for a PE job (and when I did so for IB recruiting), they don't respond, because anybody that finagled their way past the shit reputation of Emory did it so on their own merit, and rarely decide to help the current students because chances are, the students networking with them SHOULD BE AT EMORY (ie do not have good work ethic). Because the culture...fucking...sucks. The career office didn't reach out to me FUCKING ONCE. NOT ONCE IN MY 4 YEARS. Every internship I got was on my own merit, or I knew one of the few good people at Emory with a decent connection. And, although there are a lot of smart people here, most of them are fucking lazy. These aren't the super scholars of HYP or similar schools. These are, primarily, not all, but most just rich ivy-rejects that pull Truist and tell prospective students you can easily land EVR, CVP, PJT, GS, MS, BX. But no, you simply cannot (unless you are diversity, there are A FEW diversity students pulling good offers. But diversity is really the only chance you got).

Now, all of this could be forgiven. Ok, so some fucking idiots at a school. Every school has that sure. But, WHAT'S EVEN MORE DISGUSTING AND MAKES THIS UNACCEPTABLE TO ME, IS THE SCHOOL PROMOTES THIS LYING TO STUDENTS. THE BSCHOOL AT EMORY WOULD TELL THEIR CURRENT STUDENTS "We gotta make sure we talk to our prospective students. WE ARE THE REASON THEY COME *WINK WINK." AND THEN FLATOUT ENCOURAGE THEIR STUDENTS TO OVERHYPE THEIR CLUBS AND PROGRAMS IN ORDER TO ATTRACT TALENT. THEY MANIPULATE YOUNG NAIVE HS SENIORS, PROMISING AN ILLUSORY PRIZE. I WAS ONE OF THOSE KIDS. THEY OVERCOMPENSATE FOR THEIR SHIT REPUTATION. AND ALL THE KIDS GO ALONG WITH THE LIES THE SCHOOL PROMOTES BECAUSE MOST OF THE KIDS ARE IVY REJECTS AND LIKE EMORY BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY SCHOOL THAT TOOK THEM. 

And all the clubs at Emory, in the bschool there are few good ones which promise incredible networks just like the current students. And the best one is maybe an associate at BX RE. That's about it. Yet they prominently display the likes of groups like GSO, as if you have a chance out of school. Reality check: YOU DON'T. THE ONLY CHANCE YOU HAVE IS IF YOU BAG A NASTY IB OFFER AND EXIT. AND THAT IS NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE UNLESS YOU ARE DIVERSITY. So many, NOT ALL, but SO MANY STUDENTS LIE to young students, highschool and college freshman/sophomores alike. IF YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR CAREER IN IB OR PE OR HF, DON'T GO HERE PLEASE. 

So, I know I'm being an ungrateful piece of shit. They gave me a great scholarship where I paid maybe 1/3 or more of the other schools I got into that gave me no aid. And I definitely met a few very smart and kind people there who nurtured me and helped me get close to what I wanted. But, man, I FUCKING REGRET MY DECISION TO HAVE ATTENDED EMORY SO MUCH. IT HURT MY CAREER PROSPECTS. THE LITERAL INSTITUTION LIED TO MY FACE SO I WOULD COME THERE SO THEY COULD BOOST THEIR MOTIVATED STUDENT POPULATION, WHICH IS VERY FEW. HOW CAN YOU LIE TO A KID LIKE THAT. I can NEVER support an institution that would encourage lying about SUCH AN IMPORTANT LIFE CHANGING DECISION, WHERE TO GO TO COLLEGE, JUST TO BOOST THEIR NEXT YEARS' PLACEMENT DATA. HOW DARE THEY SEEK INTEGRITY IN THEIR STUDENTS WHEN THEY DON'T HAVE ANY OF IT THEMSELVES. THEY BOTH LIE AND ENCOURAGE LYING IN THEIR STUDENTS WHEN SPEAKING TO PROSPECTIVE STUDENTS. And yes, I'm biased. I don't like Emory. I wish I had never gone. But, I'm 100% certifiably saying, they lied to me, and dozens if not hundreds, if not thousands of other students. I swear I my fucking parent's graves.

I will never forget such a disgusting institution. So, the moral of the story is, 1) if you genuinely care about your job and are choosing between a full ride (or close) and a better school (top 10 for example) that gave less aid, IF YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT YOUR CAREER PROSPECTS, CHOOSE THE BETTER SCHOOL. PLEASE DONT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID. And 2) Emory University (MORE SPECIFICALLY THE GOIZUETA BUSINESS SCHOOL, LIE, I SWEAR ON MY LIFE. THEY LIE AND ENCOURAGE LYING). PLEASE THINK TWICE BEFORE GOING HERE