So... who pays for the coffee?
Hi all,
When you are meeting with someone over coffee for networking purposes, who pays? Should it always be the initiator (a.k.a. the jobless new grad)? I personally believe that the initiator should always pay because the other person is your guest and is doing you a favour by meeting up.
But it has been awkward for me at times. One time, someone I was meeting (a grad student with consulting background) said "Oh you don't have to pay" but I insisted and paid anyway. Another time, I asked a manager at a Big 4 what he would like, he replied by saying he can pay for us but I still insisted..... because I would feel bad that someone first gave their time and now they have to pay (like they are not getting anything in return, except a boost to their egos ofc!).
But I mean, what is the general rule here? Does it also make sense to pay if you are a jobless grad meeting a MD at Goldman as an extreme example? I mean yes, $5 is more like 5 cents for someone like that but should you still insist and pay as a courtesy?
I can't be the only one who finds this thing awkward. What are your thoughts?
I would imagine many of the people who offered to pay just run it through their expense reports as "recruiting".
x
You are overthinking this to a rather hilarious degree...
Who cares?
Nope. Doesn't matter.
That's honorable of you, I suppose.
That DOES sound awkward...as in you sound awkward.
This is even more awkward. You asked him...then you refused his choice?
No. You should pull out your wallet like you are going to pay. 90% of the time, they will stop you, and then you gratefully tell them thank you and move on to what you are actually there to talk about. If they don't, then you pay and you again forget it immediately because the coffee in this situation is immaterial.
As I've said, you are making this awkward. When you have a networking coffee date with someone, the coffee is just a convenient meeting point. It's not a time for you to flash your wallet around over a $2.50 drink ($5? Don't be a goober and get a skinny caramel latte) nor is it a time to show off your doofus chivalry and refuse a kind gesture.
This person is meeting with you to 1. Give back, 2. Scout you, and 3. Fuel their ego. By refusing, or even more awkward, asking and THEN STILL refusing, you are denying them 1 and 3 and making them question 2. By not making this a big deal, the person literally will not think about it at all. By making it a big deal, the person is going to be thinking about how weird you were over coffee.
Which would you prefer?
Who should pay for coffee? (Originally Posted: 03/04/2016)
So I have secured an IBD internship for the summer and am generally very excited. Over the summer, I plan to set up (if I have the time, I am hoping I do but maybe Im being naive) meetings with alumni at PE Funds. In the process, I want to build lasting contacts so that I have a good network in the city should I want to one day jump ship to PE. The people who've agreed to tentatively meet me over the summer are quite senior, say VP or MD level. Should I offer to pay for coffee or should I let them? What is the norm? Oh and this is in HK, are things different there from the US?
This. OP, you're making way more of it than it is. I absolutely guarantee you the other person isn't thinking about it. Start pulling your wallet out, they'll offer, put your wallet away. Forget about it. It would be different if you invited them to a steak dinner but it's coffee.
Offer to pay cuz you invited them to meet. However, they will pay most of the time since you are a student.
you usually end up pulling out your credit card and they'll stop you there. they'll appreciate the gesture that you intended on paying for them but they almost never will let you actually do it.
Bring your credit card to pay, but you won't. They might laugh or smile. But most won't let you. Just offer though. Don't just not offer.
Funny story, when I had first started working I was at an event and was getting a drink with some of the people from the firm. Most all of them were more senior than myself, yet I felt compelled to buy a round of drinks. Boy, was I young and naive. I had my card out and everything, insisted because once again I felt compelled to show my chivalry and was subsequently told, "Look, put your card away. Get used to it. Don't be an idiot." Obviously, slightly different dynamic but point is still the same. Accept things when offered, be polite and generally stop over thinking and worrying about it.
This is funny because it happens all the time, basically with every newb in the office. Caveat, I have worked for smaller firms for years and the 1st yr associates end up going out with the MD's far more often than let's say at GS or KKR, but I don't want the young guys/girls to pay. I know how much you make. Even though you make decent money for a 26 year old, putting your card down for a tab, or even paying for a round, at a place where drinks range from $15-25 with 3-10 people will eat up a decent chunk of your monthly salary. And guess what? We can expense that and call it team building or some other bullshit thing on an expense report that can easily go into the tens of thousands. And coffee's $5-7, maybe $10 if I get a muffin. The opportunity cost of actually thinking about that, let alone putting it on an expense report, isn't worth it.
The more senior person pays regardless.
The above pretty much sums it up. As a student I'd typically take out my wallet to pay, and they'd stop me. I'd say thank you. Then we would talk about what we were actually there to talk about...
Thanks for the tips, guys. It's true, I do tend to over think little things like that... I've been working on it. And I'm still new to networking. But I did learned something today.
As above, most people will offer and just let them pay. I usually say I'll get it next time at this point, and usually they won't mind me getting it the second time we meet.
Think of it as dating and you're the girl. Offer the pay because that is what you should do and then be thankful when the guy offers.
No one expects nor wants a free coffee from a broke ass college kid, or mba for that matter. Its just a about paying it forward and returning the favor one day.
Love DingDong's comment on the opportunity cost of even thinking about this situation.
I don't think you should offer to pay at all. I find it hard to believe that anyone would be offended if you didn't buy them coffee (never happened in my experience).
The initiator.
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