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I have an older sister who's 26 and an older brother who's 28. I wish I could say I was closer with them but my sister in is D.C. and my brother is South Carolina and Im in San Francisco so we only get to see each other for major holidays or family events. My brother also just got engaged and I don't know his fiancé at all which is pretty sad. I should call them more.
Give him a ring. While I won't attempt to interject myself into your personal life, I regret a lot of my early 20s when I was always the one dodging phone calls from siblings & parents. Was going through my own thing and was selfish. The older my parents get, the more anger and regret I feel about not making every minute with them count. As long as you and your brother have a healthy relationship, I'd get in as much facetime and phone time as you can. Give him a ring to say what's up - if I were on the other end, it'd mean the absolute world to me.
I have a sister. We do our own thing. We don't engage n casual convo outside of when we are in person
Very! We have a very big Italian-style NY family. Lots of liquor and loud voices. Family pretty even-split between NYJ and NYG fans, so there's always the healthy rivalry there. I am the middlest of the middle children - I'm 3/5. Older sister & brother, younger sister & brother. We all live in different places - DC, LA, NY, and TX. I'm the only one who hasn't spent any professional time in NY - every sib has had 2-3 years or so either going to school or working in Manhattan. Just suppose this is the vicinity to where we grew up. However, we all get together around Xmas to the motherland. It's a pain in the ass fitting all of us - the rents downsized their house when we left college, and fitting 10+ people in one house with 2 bedrooms is always fun. Lots of couches & air mattresses, but I think it'd break my mother's heart if one of us got a BNB so we've made it work.
I think I'm the closest with my older sister - she's only a year older than me. She lives in LA, so she's the farthest from me, but we were always pretty tight growing up. I text her at least 3-4 times a week, try to give her a call every week or so. Don't see much of my youngest brother - currently a white-shoe associate who is getting hosed down with paperwork, so he's probably the farthest from me relationship-wise. I'm very fortunate to have such a great family and glad I'm able to stay in touch with 'em when I can.
Sounds amazing. Wish I had a family like yours
being an only child sucks wish i had a sibling
nah I haven't spoke with mine in over a year
Same. Two months ago was the first time I saw my brother in like three or four years and finally met his fiance.
I have three brothers (one half brother, but we consider him a brother). We’re all close. We hated each other growing up, but as we got older we became each other’s best friends. Talk pretty much every day.
How could you not be close to you family? That would be sad.
Because he’s busy turning comments that you sent him.
One older brother who I’m very close with and help him as much as I can in terms of giving him life advance as we both come from the same hardships but he struggled the most with the trauma from our difficult upbringing. I couldn’t imagine not being close with my sibling/s, that’s such a sad life… My brother is far from the perfect brother and has been a constant headache for me and my mom but he is my only brother and I would drop everything to be there for him.
lil brother + lil sister
I make sure to stay in touch with them by calling once a week as I'm in a different location
No. Just scrolled through texts from my brother and they all are him asking for stuff. Grew up extremely close then started growing apart around middle school. Rarely will I contact him, and if I do, it’s because someone else asked me to.
I’m much closer to a select few of my cousins. Hell I’m closer to one of my cousin’s boyfriend than most relatives lol.
I think a big part of maturing is selecting people who you want to be in your life. If someone’s values don’t align with yours, you aren’t obligated to include them as an individual in your own, personal life.
One older brother, one younger. We went through a lot so although we don't talk every day, there is a strong bond between us.
A big South Asian family that spans two countries. It almost makes me wanna cry when I see how individualistic and unconnected western families (not all but most) are with each other. I have a little sister whose still in undergrad, and I probably text her every day, and give her a call 2x a week.
For my cousins, I see the ones who live in my vicinity pretty much every other day. With WFH they'll come over to my place and have lunch with me, or if the restaurant they own is light on customers, I'll go in and splurge $100 or so on whatever special they have up that day. For the ones all the way back in India/Nepal, I talk to them as often as I can, and since I visit about 4x a yr, I spend a shit ton of time whenever I'm back. The best of times honestly, drinking in some resort near Mt Everest cannot be beat. It helps that they're mostly very wealthy, but even if they were destitute, I'd still be there.
I even hang out with my 3rd and 4th cousins. Obviously not as often, but whenever I can, I do. I honestly think mental illness/anxiety could be alleviated for so many people by just having strong family bonds. I'd kill myself before I'd live a life without my close family and friends.
I've been estranged from one of my siblings for a little while now. Part of me is fine with it - it is their choice after all and my sibling completely brought it upon themselves. But part of me is also devastated by it. We were best friends growing up, always had each other's backs, and it sucks that all contact has been cut off. If any other monkeys have insight or advice on this topic, i could use it.
Swallow pride and put whatever happen aside and push to reconnect/tackle the issue. Family is family truly the only people that will be there for you on your deathbed and the only people that truly love you. Thats probably an age thing but as you get older and experience the shit side of life, you will cherish how important family is and the need to have a loving relationship. Doesn’t matter what happened in the past, doesn’t matter who was in the wrong, at the end of the day someone is going to need to take initiative to reconnect and for so many people it takes ages to be able to swallow their pride and fix things, and it’s sad to see all the time wasted out of pride.
If you feel a need to reconnect, be the better person and make it happen. Imagine your sibling dies tomorrow? Wouldn’t you regret not patching things? Life is funny, we never know how much time we have left with the people that truly matter. This forum is a bit funky with how many people are disconnected with their families. It takes real hardship at times for people to realize the meaning of family and honestly being some privileged high middle class/wealthy means that most of them are yet to experience real hardship.
Huge family in the Northeast/California/Canada. Youngest of 3 siblings (older brother and older sister). Closer with my older sister about personal / life advice. She's the only one whose married and has kids out of us three. Had some mutual friends growing up with my older brother so we used to be very close growing up. Now as adults, we only usually talk if we need something from each other.
Youngest out of all the cousins in my generation on both sides. Used to be very close with one cousin who was a few months older in our teen years, even almost went to the same undergrad but I got waitlisted at the school we both wanted to go to (she got in). In my 30s but all my other cousins are older, some in their late 40s and some in their early 50s (close to 90% of them being women). They all used to babysit me when I was younger. Some of their kids I saw grow up and are now in college. Very weird seeing your cousin once removed being a good 2-3 inches taller than you (I'm 6'1") when you remember seeing him eat his boogers.
Not going to lie, my family is the greatest source of happiness in my life. I’ve got three siblings and I love them all to death, though I haven’t seen one in almost two years bc he’s living in Guatemala right now as a missionary. I talk to the others probably two to three times a week. Honestly they will be a factor in what I do post IB / PE because I don’t want to have to take a six hour flight to go hit the lake or go skiing with them.
I’m pretty amazed by people who aren’t close w their siblings — not meant to be a jab at all — just because of how close I am w mine. I’d be interested to hear more from those who have siblings but don’t really choose to engage.
It's good to see many people close to their family, that's an inherently good thing. But we should also respect the ones on here that are not close. In my mind, I always come back to the "30 for 30" on athletes that go broke. The majority of them can point to family choosing dollars over the relationship with them. Sometimes, family is the first one to let you down.
That episode was deep. Hearing him talk about getting injured and cut, but using his payout to impulse buy a Hummer H3 instead of using it for other things hurt.
The one I think about is the guy talking about how his family knew his contract better than he did. They would know when he hit something like a season sack bonus and hit him up the same day he got paid on that. That's some predatory shit right there.
I really don't want to be that guy, and bring up this loaded conversation.
But the 30 for 30 really only applies to the NFL and the NBA. It was never that severe for MLB and especially NHL players. I'm guessing demographics are more of a cause than family, in this regard. NHL players almost never go broke, even if they're getting peanut contracts. Most players are from solidly middle class hockey families too, so no large percentage of old wealth.
Though in Europe, a shit ton of Premier League footballers go broke as well. Coming from working class backgrounds with no role models will do that to you, no matter how mentally strong you may be.
Not at all, and I am the youngest of 3. Nothing wrong with not being close to your family. You get to pick your friends, but not your family.
My older brother and I are very different and I wouldn't consider us close, but he is family and I love him to death. He lives in a different city so we see each other about 1-3 times a year and call each other about the same frequency. My wife is super close with her 2 siblings who live in the same city as us. She talks to them almost every day and we see them both at least once a month, if not weekly. I do get a little jealous that I'm not as close with my brother as they are with each other but I get along with them great so that's a plus.
This got me thinking about all the families I knew growing up and how close they are now. Fascinating to think about why some are closer than others.
I wouldn't say I'm close to my older sisters, but I also didn't grow up in the same household as them. They also have over a decade in age on me as well so that's a bit tough
Much closer to my older brother and I'd say he's my best friend I have. It is truly invaluable being able to go to someone and talk about anything that comes to mind. Whether it be funny, sad, or introspective, he is always an ear there for me at the end of the day. An unbreakable bond that I hope I will have by my side for the entirety of my life. I try to take my brother's good qualities to heart when I spend time with him, and enact these in my own life
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