Confidence help

I don't know much about SGA (student gov?), but from my limited outside perspective they don't do much and won't give you the social interaction that other interactive student organizations provide (ie sports and professional business orgs). And student life center worker? Is that like work study? I think being involved in a competitive sport gives you a strong bond with the guys on your team, but also an awesome experience. Most students just do it for fun and aren't too insanely serious about it, so it can be relaxing.

Best thing is to know your shit and know yourself. Do some self-reflection and maybe even write it down. Senior year, we had to do a reflective analysis of our time in school, which included why we made certain decisions (choice of school, major, internships), accomplishments and our future goals. I thought it was stupid at first, but realized it made me more self-aware and definitely helped me articulate my background during interviews.

Toastmasters and stick with it until CTM which can be pretty quick. It will absolutely double your public speaking skills and confidence. Probably triple.

Go on as many informational interviews as possible.

Echoing what ArcherVice has said, I'd add that sometimes you need to put yourself out of your comfort zone in these situations - even something as simple as offering an alternative opinion about something (sport as a common example) when some alpha (definitely stop using that word) individual inevitably tries to impart their all-knowing sports knowledge on a group. As long as you can back up your opinion people will respect that.

I get extremely nervous before, during, and even after interviews. What I did was I literally grabbed every interview I had, to the point where I could say my first round interviews in my sleep (and because I was the west coast interviewing for an east coast job, I would wake up 5 minutes before my phone interview). At a certain point, it becomes rote memorization, and you can concentrate on the new questions being asked.

And to echo what everyone had said already, make it a conversation. Make it seem like you're interviewing your interviewer. He/She might be asking the questions, but you get to ask questions too towards the end. If you can end up talking about someone not related to the job but a similar interest for 5 minutes, all the better.

I still get nervous before interviews, and if I don't interview for a while, I become really bad at it. I ramble, etc. But treat it like a muscle, work at it, and you'll be able to pull it off.

you need to be content with who you are as a person, know that you are already great and getting even better everyday. Stop thinking of each social interaction as something important. Do it and improve upon it. Your still in college so its alright.

http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are

Dear god, please never again use terms that are found in a pickup artists handbook.

That said, I'm guessing when you talk to a 'superior' you think they already know the answers and are just challenging you. Or you think that everyone else knows what is going on and you are just playing catch up? I'll let you in on a secret: Everyone else is just trying to figure it out like you are. It's important to realize that people, in general, are always overcompensating for something. Everyone is insecure about something, it's more a question of how they mask it over. Your 'alpha' males project confidence but probably struggle with the same issues you have. Yeah, sure, some people may truly be 100% confident with who they are... those are the exceptions that prove the rule.

A few ideas: Talk to everyone you can. Literally, just talk to people. If you have issues starting conversations, force yourself to introduce yourself to people and ask one very general question like how's your day going. It's normally that simple. If they ignore you or are obnoxious, go about your day. Who cares? If you are happy with yourself, you are ahead of the curve IMO. Since you are confident in academics, parlay that into your social life. Try stuff out, talk to random people, make awful observational jokes that are so corny people laugh.. etc. Most importantly, even if you don't feel it, project being self assured. I don't mean be cocky, just bear in mind you are happy with yourself and off you go.

I'll leave you with one more thought. Always remember that generally, when you are with people, they are putting their absolute best foot forward. Every vacation was perfect, meal was the best they ever had and their stories are always the funniest. I don't mean that they are outright liars, it's just that no one gets as excited about the generally decent pasta dish at a local Italian eatery as they do about the once in a generation butterflied prawn with white truffle sauce at the four seasons in Vegas... or whatever. Most people get up, go to work, deal with the same random crap that everyone else does and then goes home to eat and go to sleep. They might even throw in a workout. But generally, that is much of their week. Those 'alpha' males aren't any different than you are.

Op, you keep saying you are not introverted. Are you sure about that? Being shy and a lack of confidence is a sign. And denials are usually _______ (fill in the blank).

Maybe you need to accept that instead of trying to fight it? Look up the Ted video on introverts.

It seems that the world hates introverts but that seems to be changing (or my perspectives have changed). Introverts are hard to understand as we tend to keep to ourselves, but that does not mean there is anything wrong with that.

Final advice--Think of you and the other person you talk to as equals. Do not SUPPLICATE--a word I learned from Oren Klaff.

I've heard some good things about Toastmasters. I used to have the same problem with public speaking, but it has become much more manageable over the past few years. Unfortunately, the best advice I can offer you is to put yourself in uncomfortable situations more frequently so that you can get used to it and realize it really isn't a big deal. In addition to that, the "fake it 'til you make it" style tends to work. Even if you have a ton of anxiety, just take a breath and spit it out. Act like you have the biggest D in the room and things tend to work themselves out.

Force yourself to strike up conversations with strangers. In line at the bank, the grocery, the post office etc. Men & women. Toastmasters.

Always think: "This person is just another person, like me. They're nothing special. In fact, they're lucky to be talking to me. I'm smart, confident, interesting, and this person is so lucky to be around me. This is my world & I will not hesitate or let this person think for even one second they've ever got the upper hand, they never will. I'm in total control." Do it with women too-- never put anyone up on a pedestal-- they're not special.

For me, I realized that for an interview, it just came down to knowing yourself really well (I mean other than technicals, it is about you... spend time remembering everything you have done (not memorizing) until this point and think back as to why you did this or that)

The advice I got from a senior advisor when I was in PWM:

"Sometimes, you just gotta act like you have a 12 inch cock"

Thank-you for the responses guys. Going to look into the toastmasters program thing. It is very easy to tell people on the internet to just "fake it" or put yourself out there but it is much harder said then done. First, I think I need to find out something special about me, I am really confident in academics and have plenty of people at my school come to me and I do my best to help others. I am going to work out once I go back to school as my roommates are gym pros and can help me out as I am a little weak.

The only thing I can feel comfortable talking about is classes and career outlooks, but I obviously keep that to myself unless brought up. I just feel like a pretty boring person.

There's nothing wrong with having some humility. Humility is not insecurity.

I'll just say that you become more confident and better in interviews through practice and success. In undergrad, I was horrible at interviews. (introverted CS major who played D&D) Today, I can usually convert a first round interview into a job through the full interview cycle. I find that it's helpful to genuinely know your strengths and weaknesses and then focus on how your strengths can help the person sitting across the table from you.

Some level of confidence is necessary in an interview, and some level of technical competence is required in most interviews I've been in (HFT dev, QR, S&T type stuff), but in the banter around all of that, you focus on how you might have something that other candidates don't have that can make the interviewer's life easier.

Unfortunately some of this requires some experience. If you've never worked in finance, it's harder to tell a trader or a banker how you bring something to the table that makes his life easier or helps the team make more money. But the more interviews you go through, the more opportunities you have to see what makes peoples' eyes light up. And once you've interviewed with an SVP from GS, the Associate from ______ is a little less scary. You go in with a newer, higher level of confidence, you interview better, and you get the job this time.

There's certainly a comfort level that you are beginning to find. Just do your best to keep at it, push your boundaries, and remember that this is a learning experience.