Dealing with crazy ex

Went on some hinge dates with a girl - liked her but had some reservations about her maturity. Ended up telling her that I didn’t want to keep seeing her about a month ago and she started sending crazy, crazy bipolar type texts - “screw you,” “I don’t understand,” “I hope we can still be friends” all in the same breath.

I apologized for some things she was angry about and thought that was that.

But then the other day, she and her friends sent a drunk text basically telling me that I was a horrible person and said some threatening things.

I honestly want nothing to do with her and her friends and have been taking the “silence is the best option.” Blocked her but honestly a little worried that she and/or her friends might try something a little more troublesome… any advice?

14 Comments
 

What could they possibly do to you? Break into your apartment and knife you in your sleep? 
 

Just move on. Everyone dates a weirdo from time to time. Everyone moves on. 

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 
Most Helpful

Hey man, I’m in my mid-30’s and dated a lot of women and never had a truly crazy ex until my early 30’s. I used to think guys were just lying until I experienced it myself. My other exes all basically normal and sane (female sane, not male sane) and then I have this one who is the craziest person I’ve ever met. And hid it well for months before I noticed enough to break up with her. My family calls her “Fatal Attraction,” and they’re the type of family that has approved of every other girl I’ve dated because they know I’m not perfect.

My advice to you is to do everything possible to reduce the dopamine she received from interacting with you—be BORING. Do not try to “get even” with her and do not engage in arguments. Do block her on everything (hate to do it, but women threatening men is asymmetrical warfare) and then if she does manage to contact you, just be as bland and business professional as possible, like: “Hello, I wish you all the best but do not wish to have any further communication with you. Please respect my wishes.” And you stick to that.

If she’s able to contact you she is likely going to say all kinds of crazy shit to try to get a reaction of some kind out of you and/or drag you into an argument or emotional reaction of some kind. Do not take the bait under any circumstances, send your one business professional response (if any response at all) and then just block again.

My ex has been blocked on everything for 3.5 years and still called me from a restricted number earlier this year. When I created a Snapchat account and forgot to find and block her, she found me and got drunk and sent pictures of my family members’ cars parked places and raged at me because she’d heard I was dating a younger woman. Insulted me in every way possible. She invoked my late grandfather and said he’d be ashamed of me to try to get me to lose my cool and she almost succeeded. But over time the flow of contact has dried up because I keep her blocked on everything and never do anything interesting when she breaks through.

The goal is to eventually have her find an equally dysfunctional guy and forget about you so they can can be dysfunctional together. What you don’t is join in the dysfunction. The posters saying “What can she do?” don’t understand. A truly crazy ex will say anything about you, press false charges, nothing is off limits. My ex went to jail for assaulting the guy she dated after me while he was sleeping; it was so bad he was hospitalized.

I hope this was helpful.

"Now youse can't leave." -Sonny LoSpecchio
 

She didn't even stab you? She sounds nice. Just block and ignore lol, you'll be fine buddy. 

"If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

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