Depressed and Lonely
Student at supertarget school. I formerly considered IB and was a regular on here, but these days but decided finance academia was a better path for me. Prefer python/r/stata to the brainless excel monkeying IB people do. Now I just browse this site for fun occasionally.
Honestly I feel jaded and tried everyday and don't see an end to the tunnel. I know a lot of you guys might have a similar experience. I have a maximum 5 hours of sleep a day, wake up at 6, code/write papers until 3 am and have repeated this cycle for the past couple months doing research. I used to have a loving and supportive girlfriend until last semester, but I didn't understand her as much as I could and ended up hurting her -- she ended up leaving me. I still love her and miss her despite a lot despite her flaws but I realize she ain't coming back. Tried to cope with more work and ended up basically wrecking my body (might require surgery or something). However, no time for rest or leisure due to the nature of my work and I must keep chugging on. No support network or no anything. I barely have any friends other than the guy I'm doing research with... And honestly being stuck in my room running ML models and regressions everyday is taking a toll on my mental and emotional health. However, as I mentioned, there's no escape from this hellhole of a life as I also like the significance of the work I do.
I'm curious how you guys blow off steam or take time off eventually if you guys have like even 30 Min.... At least guys make more than I ever will...
Weird flex broseph
Implying academia isn't brainless xD You're sad and posting on WSO because in academia you're enslaved to your professor while getting paid very little, working long hours, and working on research no one will read or have any practical application.
Yes running excel models is not hollow rained shit. /S Your quant teams would be fucked over without any of our statistical models. We were the ones that invented CAPM, ratios, etc.
everybody loves a finance academic with a superiority complex
That's obviously discounting the robustness checks and higher tech methods going into academic finance both from the Economics and mathematics side. Of course a lot of the research on financial stability and macroprudential policy is kind of ignored or looked down by industry bros because well... I mean it's definitely not beneficial to profit generation of the financial sector due to the pro-regulation nature in those fields. I happened to be interested in those fields unfortunately, and frankly I've had my share or arguements about the Research with financebros and realized industry was not a fit for me due to the attitude that is somewhat anti academia prevalent in industry
guys let's try and focus on his question instead of shitting on him more
Thanks
for real. life already shit on him enough
Keep your head up OP. You think and it may seem you are alone but I assure you that it's very common to feel lost / lonely as you start thinking about life post-college or even during your first job. I went through a lot of what you're describing here and in hindsight it all seemed so much worse than it actually was... Something that got me through this period was positive visualization, can't stress enough how powerful that can be. It sounds silly but I even typed out my goals and printed them out / pasted them around my room to remain focused and that helped me a ton. On a similar note I would delete or mute you ex from all social media if you haven't already. Gotta keep moving forward. Feel free to PM me if you think that going over it live with someone random would be helpful
Sure. I made a new account here. Ex is an investment banker and Don't want her recognizing my account here
AKA "I am hoping she is reading this, love you!"
I think having fun (i.e. going to a party and having a random hookup) will boost ur self-esteem
Ur in college only once, use it wisely
Unfortunately those don't really happened and haven't happened for obvious reasons we see on the news. I'm pretty fugly and awkward as well. Was never making it in industry admittedly
Go work out and get buff
Will make u instantly attractive
Lol if he's a PhD student, he's in college for a long time
Lol @ all these idiots saying finance academia is worthless. You worship Ivy league business schools but the people who research and teach at these places suck apparently. They're just exclusive country clubs to you guys aren't they?
Either way, stay strong. The more you learn the better your future is
Wait I don't understand, are you a current undergrad considering academia or are you a grad student already on this path? I'm guessing based on "maximum 5 hours of sleep a day, wake up at 6, code/write papers until 3 am" that you are a grad student.
Either way, just forget about the girlfriend. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Matter of fact, not giving a shit that your ex left you will actually make it more likely that she will come back. Women are like that.
Undergraduate going to academia. Yes I work a ton of hours coursework on top of Research. The publication cycle for Econ is messed up. 5 years minimum for a chance at a paper at a good journal. That's around the same amount to time you are in grad school and to get a good job in academia you should probably have at least one paper under review or submitted to a top journal. Hence gotta start the grind early
Hey just chiming in to say I am one person who may be here to help you if I can help with your depression and loneliness. I hope you feel better soon! :)
kickboxing
distance running
substances
obvious answer... unless you are in a scenario like IB where you have superiors riding your ass at 3am for a workproduct... you are going to get more done in research if you get some sleep. will be happier too. working out is also a good idea for happiness, confidence, and being more social.
would really suggest seeking some balance by: making time for a 1 hour workout at a time of your preference 5 days/week - 6am, 9am, 10pm, whatever works for you.
go to sleep at midnight, sleep till 8 - 8 hours sleep is going to help. given you work is not "mindless" your performance is going to be hit hard by sleep deprivation, and it makes you depressed too.
you can still do the above 2 and work 15 hours a day, 7 days per week. (sort of)
next, start taking friday nights off. go out for dinner and drinks. ideally invite 1-5 people to join you. 1 night a week is not going to kill your academic career.
Good luck!
Sometimes I try to go for a walk. Read something nice or speak to someone. I try to find something I enjoy and/or might enjoy to blow off any needed steam or the like to make me feel better. Good luck again :)
Ignore the criticisms from the other posters. The question is about mental/physical health, not career-focused.
Stay on the same sleep schedule and don’t deviate. Exercise everyday or go outside every three hours or so to get some sunlight. Eat healthier foods too. Don’t underestimate the impact of it either.
Putting just a little bit of discipline and structure in your life will make you feel better mentally and physically. Wish you the best.
smoke marijuana and everything will be solved
"despite her flaws" lmaoo
Lol where my mind went to too. Like OP left her and OP hurt her... but OP still loves her despite her flaws lmao
-
Work to live, not live to work.
Fair
Bro you need to get out of your town for couple of days or so, go camping or some shit, chill in nature, just chill the fuck out and change the scenery a bit. Godspeed.
Word advice. Tx
Quite weird that you would come shit on the nature of the work people do on this site, slip in a few brags while simultaneously asking for advice. Never seen this work out well. Anyways, when my significant other broke up with me, I was extremely depressed, like struggling to get out of bed sad. In hindsight, I definitely brought it on myself. But, at the end of the day, you just got to realize that the only person who has your back is yourself. I'm sure you have seen the Wizard of Oz - sometimes what you are looking for is not at all what it's actually like. The glitz and glamour of working on Wall Street can mostly be just struggling to keep your eyes open late at night. When I'm struggling, I've always looked back at why I put myself into a situation and the end goal. Sometimes you sit in mind-numbing traffic for hours, but getting from point A to point B is the ultimate goal.
Dude. What you’re studying and learning will be 1000x more relevant than anything any of us bankers are doing a decade or two from now.
Your future in ML/Data Science/Quant has potentially better hours and pay than anything any of us are doing.
Point is - you’ll have time to build the life you want. Right now, it appears to be the end of the world, but you have a bright future ahead of you with a good head on your shoulders.
Blowing off steam is different for everyone. Do you have more than 6 hours to yourself on the weekend? Go to the movies, go out, shoot guns, camp do anything BUT the thing you do like doing M-F. It sucks you lost your girl, I did too at one point. Now I have a wife who supports me 100% and doesn’t back down when it’s tough. She’s my rock. Yeah I don’t give two fucks if you laugh but it’s true. Anyways man, message me if you need someone to talk to, we’re all here for you, well, at-least most of us.
- Work out in the gym
- Go jogging/briskwalking in a nearby park
- Listen to music + Sing
All the best OP!
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