Dropped the love bomb blacked out
Was celebrating a friend's birthday this past weekend and the tequila won. Woke up to texts I sent to a girl I've been seeing for a little over a month. In between incoherent texts about Chinese food I dropped the premature "I love you" text. She is now asking for some room because she's taking the text pretty seriously. I had no idea I sent it til this morning and I don't really think it's a big deal given I woke up on the lawn and have no memory of sending the text. Maybe her freaking out is a red flag in itself or maybe I fucked this and it's all on me.
Uh I think most people would react to a premature ILY text that way. Would lie low for a bit
LMAO
Real talk - lie low, reach out again in a few days saying you're sorry, explain it was a drunk text. Take it from there.
Happens to this best of us, king. If her critical thinking skills aren’t good enough to pick up on the context clues and think “haha, he’s hammered” given you’ve been talking for a MONTH, then that’s on her. Especially if her immediate reaction was to ask for space, not give you a chance to explain yourself. With that being said, if you’ve hinted at having strong feelings towards her before this incident, you might be moving too fast and scared her off.
Regardless, wouldn’t call it a fuck up or stress over it. It was a late night text on the weekend when she could reasonably assume you’ve been drinking, not sure why it’s that deep to her lol
You couldn’t be more wrong lol that post reeks of desperation and “just a prank bro” vibes
No matter how drunk you get - you aren’t accidentally texting the 3/10 girl that you love her. Stop using alcohol as plausible deniability
Found the compliance guy
You're right lol, I don't text girls shit like that and use alcohol as an excuse.
I also wasn't saying spin it as a joke, that's weird fasho. But if you get drunk, horny, and have girls in your phone, there's a good chance you've sent a risky text at some point in your life. Yeah saying "ily" is a bit much, but I don't think it's that far-fetched to assume that the guy that's saying it in the middle of a tirade about Chinese food probably doesn't mean it?
Sounds like you've never had Fireball
I think a lot of people correctly assume that alcohol brings out the truth. She’s not crazy to react by thinking he’s super into her. Pretty clear that he is.
If that scares her off then the only answer is to back off and let her realize that she isn’t the only girl in the world.
“En Vino Veritas”
This is typical 'that's on her' bro advice you give to a buddy who got dumped over beers but it does no one any good. Sometimes you have to tell your friend you messed up and do better next time.
Her position is completely justified. Just lol if you are trying to give him an out here. A black out ILY text in a month is very desperate and raises a ton of questions (how often is he getting this drunk? Why is he telling me over text? Why is he saying this after only a month? Is he too invested? etc.). It's an innocent mistake so I sympathize with OP there a bit but cant blame her if that is a big cause of concern
All valid points you made, and those questions along with others are important to understanding the full situation although I doubt OP would get into all that on here.
I feel you, can’t deny that she has a justified reason for cutting him off whether it was a blacked out text or not, actions come with either results or consequences. Biggest thing comes down to the fact that there are PLENTY of girls out here, and considering yourself a “fuck up” over one girl gives off the vibe you get no bitches. If you’re at the minimum a decently attractive guy with an interesting personality and confidence, it’s really not that hard to get girls.
Personally, whenever I’ve sent a “drunk text” the end goal was getting laid that night from a specific person, not confessing my love or lack thereof so can’t truly relate. Even then, I’m conscious in what I’m saying because I plan on having sex and well, you gotta perform. Hard not to sympathize with OP for sending a text he has no recollection of, but I get it. Sounds like he’s still in college so honestly should be something he takes on the chin and just move on.
Classic Schmosby
This Friday do the same thing but this time send her best friend an ily text. Double down.
this is such a clean hangxiety post, couldn't be more on it. In the scheme of stupid shit to do drunk this one is nothing.
You are so fine just don't talk to her a bit then when you do just say you were boozing, if shes chill that will be more than enough if shes not then whatever, not the one if she isn't gonna tolerate/understand drunk activities.
She’s making a big deal out of it because she can. It’s her big moment. I wouldn’t sweat it, just lay low and avoid making an ass out of yourself again
Honestly just be straight up-- tell her you were drunk, and didn't really mean it like that. After that though, don't go trying to convince her that you didn't mean it, that will just make you seem desperate. Just leave it at that, and in a few days she'll probably be fine with it.
Would guess this already was OP's first move?
does it matter?
I've learned that all these games played are pointless. Just chill out, if this chick is the one it follow everyone's advice and chill out for a bit and it won't be a big deal. If it's not who gives a shit, move on to the next girl. Many girls out there and you are operating from a mindset of scarcity vs. a mindset of abundance. Scarcity mentality is operating on oh shit I'm afraid to lose this girl because she is so hot. Abundance mentality is like I need to find a girl who is worth me and there are plenty of hot girls out there, find one that sticks. Changing your mindset will shift your success in dating because you operate out of strength more than desperation
lol blaming her for this as a red flag, peak projection buddy. People who date and when things go south sit in the 'it's all his/her fault' camp just end up spinning their own tires in the mud wondering why they are running into the same issues. Not saying that's you, but use this as a learning experience. Her feelings are justified. You likely will have to take the L and move on.
there are 2 issues here, hell maybe 3. In no order:
First is saying I love you over text instead of in person. Would say this is chicken shit behavior if you were sober but since tequila was at play here you get a bit of a pass. But basically shat on what is generally considered a very important milestone
Second is saying I love you 1 month in. Again, not something you would say sober. but you know the saying about drunk comments being sober thoughts yada yada yada. You've likely been on like 4-5 dates tops and are still weeks to months away from even having the exclusive talk. This is way too soon and is a red flag in itself of someone who likely has attachment issues, self esteem issues, not successful with women (no guy swimming in it will send such a text lol). Her being concerned is justified
Third is getting so drunk you dont even know what you are texting. Yea druk texts are fun and part of dating especially in 20s so not going to fault you for this if you are like 23 or 24. but if you are on older side then you got to compose yourself a bit. So blacking out and in doing so having no recolection of behavior can be a red flag as well. Not saying be lame but if you are in your late 20s/early 30s and she is sending you blackout texts after a month I would immediately wonder how often she drinks hard. If it's a regular monthly thing then yea that's a concern
Combine all that together and going to be hard to get out of this one. The 'I need space' text is brutal because any attempt to get back in good graces will push her further away. You are best to focus on yourself move on to the next one and if she comes back great if not her loss. But 9 times out of 10 this tour is over
How can you possibly be this upset about an internet stranger's dating life?
You're not wrong though
A light hearted text of “ i totally understand your view i got absolutely hammered and my friends and i were being silly.” And thrn dont text her anything
drunk words are sober thoughts... its time to propose
Never Happened.
Bro why does she even care it was a drunk text
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