How to be truly happy for others?
Got a return offer to a mid-tier BB. Super duper thankful for it, especially with the state of the economy right now. But I can’t help but feel envious of my friends who got offers at top BBs/EBs or in PE. And that I kind of settled. I’m very happy for them, but I feel like I settled.
I know this is all utterly stupid and I have no right to complain. I just wanted to air some of my feelings out and try to improve my mindset. I’d like to feel 100% happy for my friends who do well.
My advice for you would be to get off WSO, unfollow all finance meme accounts, and start using your time more productively. It infuriates me that you think obtaining a BB offer is settling. Typical student prestige whore beta mindset fueled by dumbass social media and fake friends.
The "tiers" of banks are made up (by students) and based loosely on the league tables. However, you can see that the top 10 banks all are still doing hundreds of billions of dollars of deals, and each one is leading deals across all product categories.
http://graphics.wsj.com/investment-banking-scorecard/
Why don't you focus on just being better rather than living through others' perceptions of an organization that you haven't even contributed to (your school, your bank)? Trust me, you will hold the bank back more than your bank will hold your career back, with this loser's mindset. This is harsh reality but it sounds like you need a harsh reality check. Your friends at "top" banks aren't any better than you, and you sure as hell aren't better than your friends at "lower" tier BBs or MMs. Just keep repeating that to yourself until it sinks in.
Solid advice. +1
Synergy killed it with this comment. Tough to add much more to it.
You’re going to lead an absolutely miserable life if you let your career and others’ perceptions of that career define you as an individual. You will become the VP / MD that you hate if you can’t let go of the stupid shit you’re talking about above because your insecurity will never let you live outside of being defensive. Don’t neglect other things in life that will define success, such as a happy relationship / family, meaningful bonding with friends / family and being a good American (assuming you’re American).
Do NOT compare yourself to others, ever! You literally know nothing about their situations besides what they tell you, anyway. Furthermore, envy is a sign of insecurity. Focus on introspection and improving how you perceive yourself (in a non vain way) to build more confidence.
You are clearly in an amazing position right now. It’s up to you to make the most of it! What other people are doing has no impact on your success.
You guys need to get off WSO. You're going to one of the premier banks in one of the highest paying programs available to new graduates.
It's hard to be happy for competitors, I find it a lot easier to be happy for people I feel I'm better or different from.
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