How to not be cheap??
Believe it or not, I'm actually being sincere here. I need your help. I am extremely cheap. I can't stand spending any more money than I have to. If I'm spending in myself, for things like deodorant, food, beverages, gym membership, car payment, etc, I have no problem. But I can't stand spending money on a night out to dinner with friends or anything I don't absolutely need to - I would rather stay home and use my meal plan, etc.
How do you guys get over excessive cheapness?
It's a feature, not a bug. Enjoy retiring at 45. I'm still going to be working off those $200 bar tabs from my 20s.
For real though? I'm worried about becoming a hermit by isolating myself too badly that I never spend anything
With this mentality you could focus on earning more. If you don't want to go out as much as your friends, this gives you a prime opportunity to study for an exam or entrance exam after office hours and really get a top score to propel you into a higher earning category where you don't have to be cheap. Or if you are more interested in entrepreneurial activities, you could work on that on your own.
There are advantages to going out and being social and spending money. Some see it as completely wasting money, but I think there is value sharing certain moments with others and meeting new people.
Just be sure if you are cheap and don't go out, that you don't just waste your free time and blob out on the couch watching TV. Think about what you want to accomplish and how to get there and work on getting closer, step by step, night by night, application by application, and you can use this time to your advantage for your long term career goals.
That's great advice man. Do you ever feel like you might be 40 years old and look back and think you missed it all, even with your stellar savings?
I try to make the most out of each moment; some people have told me they feel I have lived many lifetimes and I am an old soul. Have seen 23 countries, have lived in Europe and Asia for months at time. I've found time to go surfing, skateboarding (longboarding), snowboarding, picking up MMA, Muay Thai and Jiu Jitsu, completing a few triathlons, spending a year in manual labor with my church, USAF Veteran, Military school graduate (double major and a minor - learned Spanish), have worked in tech/corp fin/consulting/analytics, analytics in the medical industry as well as automotive industry, and for the DoD; have sold modern art that I have created, have started an LLC (not huge financial success, but learned a lot), and am looking forward to possibly competing a little bit in Muay Thai, and aim to break the 5min mile on 5th Avenue in NYC this year on 9/9/18 (prob only going to break my PR of 5:18 at this point as my patella is iffy, but we will see). Also competed in regionals to qualify/compete in nationals this year in USASA/FIS/NorAm Snowboarding (boardercross racing) in the Open/Pro category at Copper Mountain. I'm an avid cycler as well and in the past three days have completed 6,837ft of elevation gain on 120.4 miles.
So, looking back, thus far (at 35), I don't think I missed anything. :P
I can relate to this on a very deep level.
Growing up my family was very well of, but every expense that came up was absolutely agonized over. For example, my dad picked out a flat screen he liked, then waited 5 YEARS for the price to go down.
Now as a result I'm incredibly deft with my personal finances, but can barely bring myself to spend any real money on myself.
On the bright side, you always save money. But on the downside, I'm worried that I'm going to just isolate and deprive myself of everything. Any advice or tips you can share?
It honestly depends on what you have a hard time with. For me the first thing I did was to try and buy a nice meal for myself once a week (like takeout/a few beers) and just go from there.
$1 spent today is much better spent then $1 spent when you are 35 then when you are 45 then when you are 55 then when you are 65 then when you are 75... until you reach the point where $1 = $0. So spend your **** dollars :)
Not sure I follow...
If you don't like spending money now, do you think you will like spending it when you are 60? Do you think you will enjoying anything in life more when you are 60 than you do now?
any other thoughts?
First, define what you mean by "cheap". There is cheap, then there is just foolish with money. It's all based on income level though. If you make $10 annually, $1 is a higher percentage of your income vs someone who makes $100,00. Your situation sounds good because it sounds like you don't derive much pleasure from spending/buying.
Secondly, I'd say, focus on what you want to get out of life. If you really like shoes, buy quality shoes, if you like to travel, do that. Spend money based on that. Be tight with money when you're by yourself, but don't be that guy with others who calculates everything down to the penny.
There's no reason to change what you are doing. You aren't seeing the full picture. Those who waste money today might end up broke at 60.
We should be friends.
I can definitely relate.
First, I think it is better to start by being cheap and learning to spend rather than spending excessively and learning to budget. So consider yourself lucky.
Second, I think the phrase "you need to spend money to make money" is important. Hanging around a good, successful group of friends will open up more doors/connections in the long run than applying online to jobs from your dorm. So if you do go out with your friends every once and awhile and spend instead of saying "wow, I could not be spending this" you should be saying "wow, I'm so glad I'm spending this on meaningful friendships."
Third, make a budget. I have made one where I track all my income coming in and every single expense going out. It helps to then have a target for how much you want to save and then everything else you can spend guilt free. As a side note, when I first made the budget, I became obsessive about seeing my monthly savings and every expense became extremely painful. It wasn't until I established that savings goal that it freed me up to spend all of the other income without feel bad.
Just my 2 cents, hopefully it helps
Thanks for the insight.
Make more money.
I used to be like you a few years ago. I used to hesitate to spend my money on my friends. You should create a small fund for yourself where you can deposit a few bucks (depends on you how much) every week. Treat this fund like an account for deferred payments. Start spending after you have at least $100 in this fund. Set a limit of money that you must take out of it to throw away some cash on your friends/girlfriend(s) every weekend.
Having mini funds like this one helps me to keep myself in check. It also gives me a psychological satisfaction.
Ain't nuffin wron wit bein cheap. My man Warren B is doing well for himself. Warren G on the other hand...
I think you need to change your mindset.
I use to be very stingy as well with my money, but this all changed when I came to a realization that spending time with friends/co-workers/strangers builds unique relationships that fulfills and expands your network. Having strong relationships are not only personally fulfilling, but also may form the basis of a big business deal in the future. The ROI of spending time with friends is impossible to quantify, but I'd argue is positive in most cases.
When you're buddy Joe is ready to sell his multi-million dollar startup, who is he going to hire? Will it be his friend who he's spent his 20s making memories with? Or will it be that dude who stayed home to save money? In conclusion, don't discount the opportunity to build relationships even if it means spending a bit of money; your friends can become the people you do business with in the future.
man I love spending money
You do not need to stay home to save money. Budgeting and small spending decisions go a long way. There's also a huge difference between being cheap and being frugal.
I'm hella cheap too then all of a sudden BAM THERE GOES ANOTHER BENJIE ON A FRATTAGUCCI VEST
It sounds like you are in college and this is an asset. As a frugal person I have learned having a few things I like is better than a hundred things I don't. Then again, I want to retire at 40 and move back to my home country sometime. I still manage to travel and have fun and I make like 1/4 of what people make here because I'm in Middle office. However, I save more than people who make triple what I make. I do go out with friends because I am back to studying in the hopes of breaking out of MO. The only way I see my friends is dinners and I just enjoy the time with them. Making friends is really hard for me as I am very strict about who I can be friends with but I have a circle of three friends that make life fun. I go out, I just don't go crazy. I also include like a $100 bullshit spending. What I find is the stuff other people spend on are very stupid to me. Coworkers my age spend on stuff like shoes, clothes, etc. As someone with two feet and four pairs of shoes (the fact that I'm female seems to blow everyone's mind that I have no interest in clothes and shoes. I hate going to the mall, I HATE it. I remember a coworker bragging that he had thirty pairs of sneakers and I was the only one who asked "Why?"
After going from party hard frat guy, I got this way the last semester of college and was this way the first year or two after college, and honestly got so miserable and depressed I just started doing whatever made me happy, and I'm feeling a lot better now. The savings definitely helps, but now things other than money keep me up at night, and those things are a lot harder to come by than money. (Relationships, friendships lost etc).
Save within reason, but have fun and enjoy yourself. Money is great, but you can't ride your jetski everyday.
Did your saving/not spending as much cause relationships/friendships to suffer, or do you just think about those things more now regardless?
More-so like lost touch with friends and didn't allow for opportunities to make more. Basically, I stopped going out to happy hours, brunch's etc and missed out on the opportunities/ good times. My college friends and I stayed in our college town (major west coast city) after graduation, but a ton have moved away at this point or are in serious relationships.
So basically what happened to me: Stopped going out to save money, friends moved away, have lots of money now, but less people to do things with.
This is how mid-life crises happen. Be in the present and have fun because you only have one chance.
I had the same problem and still struggle with it from time to time. My family lived paycheck to paycheck for many years, so it was hard for me to spend money. It was an emotional struggle. Money meant safety and security which I hung onto. I try to tell myself its an investment - in my wellbeing and my happiness. Also investing in experiences is always better than investing in things, as you will form good memories and remembering the good times will sustain you during the bad times.
Is your real name George Costanza? (i know old reference; that's what google is for)![]()
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