Been a minute - hope everyone is well.
I love doing posts like these. Know everyone (myself included) is dealing with a multitude of challenges, be it work, personal, or anything in between. Wanted to shift your mindset off financials and do a little 2023-esq check-in. Know it's only August, but this seems to be the time of the year when folks start dragging as deal flow picks up, recruiting/promote changes are taking full effect, and all the other stuff. At least that's what I'm dealing with!
If anything noteworthy has happened since the last NYE ball dropped, feel free to drop a comment below. Would love to hear some (hopefully!) positive stories from you all. If something bad has happened, also feel free to drop a note - happy to chat about it.
I'll keep mine brief - moved halfway across the country with a new job, it's going pretty well so far. Liking the new digs and a lot tanner than I was before! Hopefully, I have signed my last-ever lease, as the wife and I are using our 12-month rental period to decide if we want to buy a house here - exciting, albeit stressful.
That's all on my end - want to hear from you all! Hope everyone is having a safe and healthy season so far.
2/3 of the way to successfully completing a perfect score on the Marine Corps fitness test....the 6 minute miles are tough but feeling confident I can get there by the end of the year.
Wow, great stuff! Not an easy feat, glad you are seeing substantial progress. Just proves that the hardest part of nearly anything is getting started, I can tell ya firsthand how seeing my own improvement in any activity will motivate me even more, making that final 1/3 a breeze. Keep pushing!
Consistency is always key, will trump everything else. Best of luck to ya.
NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT?
NEVER QUIT
4:40 here in my hayday. Keep it up. You probably just have a "marine's build" so don't feel bad about slowing down on the mile
Dealing with the hardest break up I've ever had, been broken up for months (have not seen her in 8 months) but still am not nearly over her (blocked on everything, haven't spoken in several months, etc). Truly have no end in sight of getting over her - advice welcomed on that end I guess. Also laid off a few months ago. So not great. But I am in the best shape I have been in possibly ever.
sorry to hear…went through similar relationship pain earlier in the year. Took me a couple months but used those months to focus on getting more into shape and working on some other stuff I found interesting (as well as focusing more on work) and it was time well spent. After a few months I forced myself to get back out there and just have fun going out and going on as many dates as possible. You'll find once you get into shape and just don’t give a F when you go out with the fellas or on a date, the options will start piling up and you’ll look back with happy memories rather than getting sad. Best of luck chap, we all go through it, but we all come out the other side better.
EDIT: Forgot to mention, remember, you can’t control her feelings but you can control what you do from now on, and wallowing in misery isn’t going to get you to the places you want to be in the future
Thanks man, it's good advice for sure. I'm glad you were able to work through your breakup. Unfortunately dating and hooking up has only been short term solutions. It's fun, but then I'm just back to missing her. In some cases, even more, because I compare them to her. I'm still dating quite a bit though and it is nice to actually feel wanted rather than ignored and disposable. Not being able to speak to her just makes it so difficult because there are so many questions that I have that I really struggle with not having answered. I've been through break ups before and I do usually get pretty down, even when I'm the one doing the breaking up, but never before like this. I can truly say this girl was probably the closest thing to someone I can see myself with long-term or even marriage. Pretty rough, maybe just need more time.
Not having a job has probably made it even worse, so hopefully that can be resolved sooner than later.
I am truly sorry to hear of your broken heart. I have had my share of them. I could tell you something trite like "O this to shall pass" or "In time your heart will heal" but lets face it... right now it simply sucks! There really is NO way around that.
Here is what I do know though. Everyone is different BUT most men tend to have an easier time getting over a broken heart. They tend to bounce back quicker.
When I would suffer a broken heart I would often times allow myself to lick my wounds for a couple days but if it were a big one I would let myself grieve if you will a bit long sometimes a week sometime two. I would however tell myself, life is to be lived and so you need to make sure you dust of your knees and get back out there. At first it might be just going out with your friends or taking time to smell the air and feel the sun on your face. The point is to get out and connect, either with you and invest time in things you once enjoyed or with friends.
I found that if I could focus on what was good about the relationship and the "we are great people just on great people for one another" much like you did it helped me a lot. I would try to focus my energy on remembering the good.
When you are ready ask yourself these questions:
1) What did I like about it and why?
2) What didn't I like about it and why?
3) What did I do great in the relationship that I def want to do in the future?
4) What happened in the relationship that I didn't like and how do I overcome that in the future?
5) What lessons have I learned how do I make them positive?
6) What was it about her that I really liked that I hope to have in a future relationship?
7) What didn't I like about her and how could I have seen it sooner to potential stop me from seeking a companion like that in the future? I am not saying with this one she is a bad person BUT there are things that as people we find compatible and not. Some of these things we don't discover till you are well into a relationship and if you had known from the beginning you might not have dated after all. You have the luxury of reflecting and pin pointing identifiers that you can use in the future with women.
When you combine all of these answers you end up having some closure. You have and organized way of reflecting which can sometimes help the emotional side heel. It will also help you further down the road but right now I am not going to get into that.
Our hearts are very special and unfortunately part of accepting love into our life and enjoying and experience all the gifts and joy that brings we also open the door to the pain and ache that it can bring. I personally believe, that even with the dark side of love and the risk that comes with it, the positive and reward of letting love into your life and letting someone become close to you is worth far more then and of the pain a broken heart gives. With each broken heart you have a choice, to become bitter and angry (and for a couple of day that is ok) or to recognize that although it sucks you have just been given an opportunity to grow into a better boyfriend or husband (if that is what you want) for that next special person or someday wife.
Make sure you get the DVD Swingers too while you're at it.
As far as being laid off, I've scored a hat trick with those in my career. On the most recent one, I reminded myself that each of the prior layoffs resulted in bigger and better things. This third one didn't disappoint and for once I feel secure and valued at my organization. The headlines aside, organizations need strong performers. Keep up the fitness regiment and parlay it into career motivation for whatever the next step is.
Anybody who ever built an empire, or changed the world, sat where you are now. And it's because they sat there that they were able to do it.
Thanks man. I really appreciate the advice. I will be sure to ask the questions when I'm ready. At the moment, it's pretty hard. The memories, the feelings, the connection, is really unlike anything I've felt before. I've been in a few relationships before her where I thought I was in love, but none come close to what her and I had. Not being able to speak to her and her not wanting to see or speak to me makes it much much more difficult.
I won't avoid letting love in and I don't regret a second with her. The pain hurts beyond words but it's part of what makes me human I guess. I do believe good has come of the pain I have felt from not being with her, and I believe more good will come of it. But I have thoughts like maybe one day we can get back together; I need to fully let her go to move on (but I'm afraid to because I don't want to stop loving her); I will never have the connection with anyone like her and I had again. I truly just cannot see myself with anyone but her right now. There have been brief glimpses when I have been dating, but none have come close when I start comparing, and I can't help but to compare.
Anyways, I appreciate the advice. I've been going in circles when speaking to my therapist about it, and even my friends are probably tired of it. And you are absolutely right on Swingers --- I've probably already watched it 2-3 times in the last 8 months lol. That movie is one of my favorites, and definitely a must watch for anyone going through what I'm going through. I relate to that character so well, and I hope I experience the ending of that movie sooner than later.
Im sorry to hear man. Dealing with the same - layoff and break up this year. I think you’re right to go no contact. I stayed in touch with an old girlfriend and it was just too hard to forget about how she made me feel.
Keep focusing on the gym and work you got this.
I'm sorry to hear you're going through the same man. It's very difficult going through both of these changes. To clarify, she is the one that chose to go no contact, I've basically reached out an embarrassing and inappropriate amount tbh, and she never responded. I don't understand how or why, and I guess she doesn't care to tell me.
I'm glad you sound like you're doing better at least, and I appreciate the encouragement!
dating women is gay. sex with women is gay. Sex with men is gay...really...it's ALL gay. In fact it's more heterosexual to NOT have sex. I think the only straight position is to be an ace incel
Hope you had some financials levers for the soft landing. I was too carefree and when the semiconductor go down I go down with them. Layoff came unexpected. Believe me when I say I wasn't prepared as I put my life savings in crypto,NFT's. Too much fun in sugarbook and TNA escorts. Now I'm working under contract terms. This time will make sure there is always soft landing no matter how high I go
Could talk a lot here, but everything would more-or-less be a direct mirror of WolfofWSO's great comment. All of us have suffered pain like this - there's truly nothing that I can say now that'll make you feel better. However, time is simply a magical thing - however unlikely it may seem, know there WILL be a point when you don't feel the pain anymore. Could be a week, month, year, or five. But it'll happen.
Good on you for maintaining good physical activity - it'll do just as much for your mental as it will for your body. Rooting for you bossman!
Thanks man. It's true, time will heal the wounds, or at least I hope so. I've gone through break ups before, and even if I ended it or knew it had to end, it always hurt. And after going through those times of hurting, I remember telling myself to remember that it will eventually get better. Well, with this one in particular, it's either just going to take much longer or be something that is always there a little bit. It's sad but a part of me even wants it to be here forever, the pain, or just there slightly. Because I don't want to lose all of my love for this person, ever. WolfofWSO mentioned the movie Swingers. And it's kind of like that line his cousin says to Jon Favreau in the diner, about the pain always kind of being there, and even missing the pain. Truly is mindblowing caring for someone so much, thinking they would always as well, and then they don't.
lol bro exact same situation but let's get it baby
If you need someone to talk to feel free to reach out! Shit is hard to go through alone!
The response I've gotten from yall has really helped, and I had been thinking of even posting about it here. I've done therapy, seen other women, got back into hobbies, got into shape, etc, and it is still a battle every day. If any one is going through it and wants to talk, please feel free to reach out. It definitely helps to hear from others that are experiencing the same thing.
Personally would just share that I’ve had a history of putting girls I’ve not even dated but saw were fwb’s with on a pedestal after things ended. I internally created an image of them that never truly existed, so I was “mourning” the loss of something that never was. I idealized what I thought we had.
Maybe your ex actually was the greatest human ever. Even if not, you’ve gotta move on. Or don’t. Up to you
honestly going out should be illegal. it's obviously failing 40million people, why do we pretend like dating wasn't fabricated 100 years ago
you have my respect, brother
Good to hear from you Stonk. I could write a mini novel, but I'll keep it brief.
4. Joined a whiffle ball league for some fun. Ok it's a beer league, but we do play whiffle ball when it's sunny and clear out.
5. Began the project management designation.
6. Began TAKING time off vs. asking for permission to be off. Frankly, no one seems to question me when I just command it vs. request it. I have been spending some time with relatives who have not been doing well after letting work dictate some PTO last year and it resulted in a friend passing before I could say my peace with them.
Happy that things are going well for you and have a couple of questions for you if you don’t mind.
1. Do you have any recommendations for moving into a program management role from a finance background?
I’m thinking about doing an MBA in order to pivot out of the buyside and want to work within my coverage universe (TMT).
2. What drove the shift in your mindset to begin taking time off instead of asking for permission?
Personally struggle a lot here and haven’t taken a vacation day in the 4 years since I’ve graduated from undergrad.
I don’t have any tips I’m sorry to say. I work in corp dev and had a relationship with this internal group. The leader respected me a lot as a professional and tapped me for some help with the director went out for a personal issue. It’s been going well and it may become my new normal given what I’m hearing. It helps that the work this group does is interesting and dynamic. No one thinks pro forma financial statements are dynamic. The corp dev clerical work was getting to me so this new group has been a breath of fresh air. As I said above, I perform well and help folks out. Cream does rise to the top.
I lost a friend last year to an aggressive form of cancer. I remember speaking with my supervisor and mentioned that I plan on taking some time off after x deliverable is done. Death didn’t wait and I never got to say my peace face to face with my friend. I help out with his kids where appropriate and take them on adventures to sporting events, movies, etc. So now, I just say things like, “I’m taking x and y days off, so and so will back fill me, you have my cell in case of emergency.” Thing is, there are truly few real emergencies.
What made you want to get the project management certification? Is this PMP?
I began some of the work for the designation. I don’t think I will actually take the exam. I’m getting pulled into project based work which is challenging, albeit fun. I’m managing internal and external resources to create new processes, improve existing processes, and add value in all things I can. The PMP has some neat stuff on planning, delegating, executing, evaluating, and reviewing projects.
Sometimes you don’t need to reinvent the wheel. The PMP has many of the templates you need which are accepted by those in the industry.
Hey boss - great to hear from you.
Seems like many good things, some of which stem from not-so-great things. That's the only way to go, glad to hear you've been enjoying your '23 so far. The half-marathon is no joke - I'm pretty good in the weight room, but as soon as someone mutters "cardio" I'm exiting the building! Ski trip + beer league tie in nicely.
Feel ya on the PTO. I'm not sure when I realized it, but unless it's mission-critical material then I'm not sure that I even have 'PTO' days that need to be followed. Obviously, there's some set number in my contract, but the general MO is that if I'm getting my shit done and am attending meetings, then I can simply do what I want. Now, this new job hasn't warranted an example of that yet, but it'll come! Especially when life should be prioritized - as in your case - then whose gonna tell me I gotta be in the office? If so, who am I to listen?
Glad you are enjoying your space - I didn't know your friend who passed, but I'd like to think that s/he'd be proud of your newfound methodology. I know I am.
Edit - and Stonks, love your posts on here. I think this thread is a great idea. My update is negative and positive but I’m feeling super motivated to finish the year better than it started.
Feels like I've been through the ringer this year, between moving across the country to start a new job after a tough layoff and now trying to get over my college girlfriend.
Started off 2023 unemployed after we got laid off a week before Christmas. This was me and a bunch of guys I had interned with. We had just started the summer before. C'est la vie. Such a shitty way to start the year but the silver lining was I got a month at home with family over the holidays.
Did a super stressful recruiting process and kept hearing dozens of no's before finally getting one yes. By that time I had spent all my money and even had to sell some stocks and illiquid shit to afford to break my lease. Unfortunately paid rent in three places for two weeks while I moved from a shit tier city to NYC. (This is on me, I fucked the timing)
Things started to improve - I loved New York, moved into a cool neighborhood, I had somehow made it to PE, and thankfully reconnected with a bunch of college friends who were in the city.
At the same time I was desperately trying to hang on to my college girlfriend. We essentially didn't have it in us to keep it going even after trying to shorten the distance. She moved from our college town to Boston but it didn't help. I just ended up wasting a ton of money on an ungrateful cheating whore. Lesson (hopefully) learned.
I'm now hopeful for the final trimester of the year where I can just focus on killing it at work. I took my first ever vacation last weekend to reconnect with college buddies and it was therapeutic af. The boys set me straight and clarified a lot of things about where I went wrong with that chick. Luckily I'm still young and there's still about a month left to enjoy the summer and be ready for my first fall in the city.
I'd like to see myself as resilient. I definitely didn't expect to be derailed from my analyst program or break out of the 2+2+2 path everyone has been shooting for. It has been a wild and scary and exciting year and I've just steeled myself through it all never accepting defeat. I didn't let myself get pushed out of finance and now I'm retaking control of my life from a girl who didn't give a shit about me.
My story is unique enough and I post enough that people might be able to identify me. If so, shout out to the boys I'm living and learning. 🤙 Couldn't do it without them. Those guys took my call when I didn't know wtf to do, sitting unemployed just months after feeling like I was on top of the world starting my IB program. (Obv just a job but I was excited…) No judgement just straight cut advice. Everyone needs that sounding board.
I know a lot of us have been struggling in this market and I struggled more this year than I ever expected. Just know that y'all who also commented are not alone. I'm committed to getting to a much better mental and emotional place by the time 2024 rolls around. Cheers
I’ll be vulnerable and add one thing. I did start getting counseling for some misgivings I couldn’t get past. I am actually seeing the co-owner of the entire mid size practice. Half the time we BS about work related stuff as men who manage pita employees.
In any case, I’m a believer. It’s working and I feel just better as a person
could've been better but at least without surprises
2023 has been pretty rough and I’ve been struggling but I’m starting to dig myself out of the rut I’ve been in so that I can move forward.
Got what I thought was my dream job which actually ended up being a nightmare and was laid off after less than a year recently. Due to the stress put on 60 pounds and developed anxiety which resulted in daily panic attacks in the office for months.
I took the layoff pretty hard and took some time off to reset and reassess my career. The conclusion that I came to is that I’m likely going to try to stay on the buy side for another year or two despite recruiting being really challenging before heading back to get an MBA to make a career change.
Outside of work things have been a mixed bag:
I moved back to the city I grew up in and am now surrounded by family and friends to see if I want to plant permanent roots here. Being around friends from outside the finance sphere that I’ve known my whole life has done wonders for my mental health.
On the flip side of that, my anxiety has gotten worse after I was in an active shooter situation where I was locked down in a very open shopping center for nearly two hours. Everyone ended up getting out okay but it was a pretty traumatic experience to go through.
At the end of the day I’m confident that everything will work itself out and have bounced back from a layoff before but it’s probably going to be rough for the next 6 or so months. Now that I’m in a place where I’m able to prioritize my health I’m hoping to make ground on my mental and physical health over the back half of the year.
It’s been great! Wrapping up my last year and a half of college here.
Started off very mundane after really investing in myself for a solid year and a half, gained 20 lbs in mostly muscle from the gym. Then got some reps of therapy in for a bit then started dating around (not something I thought I’d ever do) and ended up reconnecting with a girl I used to talk to during freshman year. We’re dating now and things are off to a great start.
Got hired to teach students at my college 3Stat/DCF/LBO/Comps and other models part time (this is perfect bc MM IB interviews start in like a month so basically getting paid to review interview prep) getting more involved in the Chicago/Midwest/West IB space, which seems more my speed than NYC; mainly for COL and proximity to family.
Had a WM internship this summer with BAML which gave me the opportunity to network and score like 40 calls with people in IB/ER. Never thought of myself as the person to cold call/email 300+ people but here I am!
Overall great but pumped to hit the books again and see my buddies from college. Appreciate this site in helping my navigate the world of finance careers.
2023 has been a mixed bag. I have experienced some of the highest highs and lowest lows in my life on a spiritual level during these 8 1/2 months.
Let me start off by saying that from the outside my life is good. I kept my job, which I still enjoy (as much as anyone can enjoy IB) and it is chugging along quite nicely. Deal flow is good, money decent, I'm learning very little, enjoy a good relationship with my colleagues, and my team thinks I am retarded, so my workload is limited. Even more, my future prospects are looking good, if not amazing, and come next bonus season, RTH/LAZ/HL are not out of the question. I have time for the gym and a Christian youth group, as well as for some cheeky pints with the lads, as it were. I have made many new friends and easily make them by the day. I was at the JMJ and it was completely amazing - hot, full, but a very rich experience.
Now privately, things are looking quite differently. I have been growing in the faith and my life in Christ, and I can safely say that it is among the hardest things I have ever attempted, and it seems to become only harder by the day. All those Redditoids calling religion "opium" and a "comforter" have no fucking idea what they are talking about. It is so, so hard to confront the past, your impurities, your imperfections, and keep on the straight and narrow, and the more I am on it, the harder it fucks me up when I fall. I didn't go to Church last Sunday because I was with a woman (more on her later) and I genuinely felt like puking. And this is only a very minor (albeit still mortal) sin, and I did much worse things in this year. Of course, I have also been blessed with some of the most sincerely beautiful, heart-enflaming, and ecstatic moments in my life, to the point where mass makes me routinely cry and encountering life-changing people is a weekly event. Though these utterly rapturing moments make my failings only so much more vile, they do give me hope that I might make in the end after all. Onto relationships: Ever since my girlfriend left me last autumn, I've been horrendously maidenless, although I did meet a few women. One was a normie and we didn't vibe, one was cute but a bit stuck-up (Opus Dei...), and the last one changed my life in ways I cannot even describe yet. A fiercely intelligent, funny, warm/loving, quietly beautiful, deeply religious woman, with whom I have an insane sexual chemistry. Sounds perfect, right? Well, she's 10 years older than me and waits for the perfect man - which I am by her own accord not. Still, we really, really want to fuck each other, but can't/won't (not for a lack of trying), so we unfortunately have to stop regular contact. Yeah, it sucks. Also, my brother broke off all contact to us because his wife blackmails him with his kid, and he wants to be a "good father". My mom is chronically depressed, doesn't speak to her sister anymore, barely leaves the house, and generally doesn't really see the point in living anymore. I haven't spoke to my father in almost 10 years and might not ever again.
That was my life in 2023 so far. Some beautifully good, some terribly bad, a lot of time just... living. As my mother always says, accounts are drawn only at the end.
Persevere my man. I'm not sure if they do any of these in NYC (if that's where you are), but check out an ACTS retreat if you can take take a Fri-Sun off.
I will persevere, stumbling, but onwards. And thank you, I did this with the Jesuits already in April, was very beautiful.
Appreciate the vulnerability to talk about what’s been going on in life. You’re absolutely right that the Christian life is a constant battle to put the flesh to death and set your eyes on the Cross. I don’t know if I would say that it gets easier but over time you become more like whatever you put your time and focus on. If you are pursuing a relationship with Jesus and getting in the Word on a consistent basis then you will become more like Christ. And while that doesn’t make life much easier, it makes your response to whatever is thrown at you easier. The Bible isn’t a bunch of rules to help keep cosmic score but guidance towards human flourishing.
This probably isn’t the forum for this but fighting sexual sin is extremely important. God’s design for sex within a marital relationship is like a fire - in a fireplace it can provide warmth and be both an enjoyment and a tool but outside of a safe place it is wildly destructive if unabated. Ain’t it just like the devil to take something great and enjoyable and twist it. Sex is obviously very enticing and it takes a piece of you away from your future wife with every partner you’re with. It makes things quite messy when your soul literally becomes entangled with a number of other souls. But by God’s Grace, the power of the blood of Christ can help you unwind those soul ties. Don’t take this as me shaming you, but as someone speaking from experience.
Thank you
Really bad chronic pain issue tied to a simple hernia surgery from 2022 has been bugging me all year, and haven't been able to go to the gym, which is too bad b/c it used to be a favorite hobby. I think it can be solved but might take another year.
Working on wedding stuff for next year, which is a huge headache.
Moved to a new country to move one of my companies, and that is going smoothly, which is nice.
Actually kind of curious if you could elaborate on this at all - what the injury was, repair, experiences now? I have what I think is a femoral hernia in the middle of my right side and am trying to push to get it evaluated and potentially repaired bc I'm nervous about intestinal incarceration. That said, I've heard about complications and am kind of dreading the idea of having to give up fitness-related activities, which are my main hobbies at the moment.
So I had an inguinal hernia surgery in 2022. I made a mistake waiting so long, should have done it sooner as it makes the surgery more straightforward.
Anyways, surgery goes well, but then I get an umbilical hernia in 2023, which was apparently caused due to the way they repaired my 2022 hernia.
Both surgeries seemed to go well.
Now I have some chronic pain in the area tied to the inguinal hernia, caused by some post op complications. It's been like that since Jan, but slowly improving.
You are probably fine but definitely get it addressed asap or it will just get worse without surgical intervention.
Honestly, pretty great so far. Moved into a nice downtown condo with the girlfriend. I've really been enjoying things like walking to work and just being in the downtown energy (sports, art, music, food, etc.). I've gotten a ton of skiing, golf, and tennis in this year, at the expense of things like soccer and boxing, due to changing locations. Work is challenging and tough to get any wins given interest rate environment, but bosses seem happy with my work product to date. Only thing that's not so great is the relationship doesn't feel like its gotten much better, unclear if worse or just stagnant. Working through that.
Headed to Europe for 2 weeks in the Fall. Still lots of time for tennis and golf. Should be able to clear all my debts (less mortgage) by end of the year. Also planning on getting laser eye surgery before year end which has been a delayed a few times but now I'll finally take care of.
It's been a pretty good year I've just been grinding on my music project mostly and working for my friend's company part time and living with my family. I thought that the success was going to come faster for my music project but now I'm starting to realize that it might take a while mostly just cause it's hard to figure it out alone most successful bands get help from someone like a label or someone else who understands how to do the promo the right way and I haven't been able to find a music business person to help me, everyone I reached out to either scummed me or ignored me so far. I played 27 local shows so far this year and I'll probably play like 40 shows total this year which is cool but I'm trying to do something bigger with it and it's frustrating how slow it is going and how luck dependent it is...
No complaints, things could be better but just timing and have to put in more work on my end. Actually starting to be grateful for the position I am instead of always wanting the next greatest thing (although constantly on the mind).
Relationship: Girlfriend moved back home for a few months and is going to Europe for a year. Long distance has not been bad so far but curious how the different continent and time difference will affect things. Not really too worried about it just taking the approach of we will see how it plays out.
Traveled a bunch: Took one week off to spend in Europe, and have constantly just been taking weekend flights Have made it up to twenty flights on the year so far and besides that one week have not taken any additional time off of work. Also, have done some weekend road trips.
Family: All fine think everyone is kind of focused on their own lives right now and guess it is just a part of getting older. Speak once a week to everyone but kind of surface-level for the most part.
Career: Could be going better. Getting paid a little under market but have been actively trying to relocate to a different city for the past few months. Shitty timing and not having the ideal background has made things harder. Had a final round and ended up messing up some simple stuff on a model and didn't get the job. Have put out like 200+ applications and for the past month job openings have definitely decreased. Trying to stay on top of it everyday and banging out case-studies after work/weekends. Hard sometimes almost just feel like throwing out resume/applications just to hit a wall and not get a response but got to keep going as I really want to move ASAP.
Friends: Close friend from college moved pretty close so it has been nice to see him at least once a week and just shoot the shit. See other friends occasionally or when the close ones come back to town. Don't really hang out as much with most of my close college friends due to lifestyle stuff - they all work remote, still want to go out like 3-4 times a week like we are still in the college frat. Don't get me wrong still like to go out but can't keep up with every weekend going that hard and priorities starting to change a bit. On the rare occasion I see them it is all good/fun but can't sometimes feel like not really friends anymore (also on me though should make more of an effort to hit them up).
Health: Ended up putting back on like the 25 lbs that I lost and have not really been working out/eating home cooked meals (don't always eat terrible but ordering food/eating out non-stop has definitely not made me feel great. Past few weeks have just been getting my ass to workout again and just need to stay consistent.
Honestly, pretty lousy. My mentally/psychologically ill older sister as taken a turn for the worse (going on 22 years now) and is keeping my 70 year old parents up all night with screaming and yelling. My mom is taking the brunt of it all and I'm chronically worried something will happen to her. My dad refuses to do anything.
I'm looking for a house to purchase but the market is still really tight and cash offers still seem irrelevant as is price negotiation.
I'm sick of my family and desperately want to get away from them all but I'm working the family businesses (which I don't enjoy) and I'm having a hard time starting something of my own to ultimately pivot to.
A shoulder injury I stupidly caused myself many years ago has finally reached it's peak and may need surgery on both shoulders, especially if I want to keep swimming.
Been depressed lately to be honest.
I make a lot of money compared to the average worker, but I’m realizing with my lifestyle spend that I cannot reduce, I will still have to work till I’m at least 50 and my dream of retiring early will never happen.
I also hate I work at a tier 1 shop where everyone is gung ho. I wish I could somehow be magically moved into credit or a tier 3 shop that never leads anything and just writes checks.
All the elder people in my family are in great shape, so inheritance won’t come anytime soon. It like they taunt me with their money that I won’t get until I’m old anyway.
I also feel weirdly jealous of my kids. They’re gonna have way more money than I ever did. Is that normal? To do everything possible to make your kids have a great start to life, but also feeling jealousy while doing it? Maybe I should seek therapy.
Would definitely suggest a therapist. There's a big difference between wanting to instill good values into your kids (not have them be stuck-up / snotty) and despising that they had it easier than you.
Isn't the point of grinding late hours to give back to your future family?
a
This year has been all over the place, I haven't had a whole lot of time to focus on myself, especially this summer. A lot of my close friends got married, and recently I actually officiated my best friend's wedding, which was a surreal experience. I organized his bachelor party which was relaxing but we still had a blast, and just before that we had a mutual friend who's never been to America before come visit, so I showed him around NYC, DC/Virginia, OBX, and Texas. That was an amazing trip, especially explaining American culture live action to my friend.
More personally, I've been trying to consistently work out since I have major issues with focusing on doing that consistently, and have started to incorporate some new fun things: I've been biking with one of my coworkers and we're planning a longer camping ride in the next few months, and I also picked up BJJ which is kicking my ass but is a lot of fun.
I've been doing a lot of spiritual and religious introspection also, been trying to get a good daily prayer/meditation ritual in place which has helped general mental clarity and decreased stress. I went on a retreat to a Trappist monastery earlier this year which was very rewarding, I really want to do it again sometime soon.
Found out some further bad medical news about my family, so coming to terms with that. Looking to the future and next year, I'm at a bit of a crossroads professionally as to how I can advance my career further but also accomplish things that are important to me, as well as focusing on the positive effects and impacts of my career actions beyond muh shareholder value.
year's been mostly good, unfortunately dealing with some loss and am having to use my grieving techniques I give clients on myself (yes they work, but it's not easy)
just came here to say please PM me if you're struggling/stuck, my travel schedule's light until the fall and I'd love to help some of you, even if it just means venting
t
t I am not going back in time I am not a good person
I'm a huge gym bro, but how do you dedicate 4.5 hours a day to fitness?
Great to see you post on here, and that you're improving.
Rising Junior. Met my absolute dream girlfriend in January and things have been going absolutely amazing. Failed on-cycle recruitment for 2024 IB SA roles which motivated me to pursue a career in Private Wealth where Im currently interning and plan to return next summer. I love the team im on and the wlb is great. Last year was the hardest year of my life where I was extremely depressed and hating life. Couldn’t be more grateful that things finally took a turn.
Pretty shit. Was laid off earlier this year into a terrible job market. Struggling to find another IB job.
Busy during the first half when I was looking for an internship. Last few months of first year at my MBA program was fun (spent a lot of time with friends and went out more frequently).
My summer internship was OK, explored an subvertical within an industry that I thought I wanted to work in post-MBA. Ended up not living up to the hype I created in my head (would still accept an offer if they give one) and in the current economy, a lot of competitors recently had sizable layoffs. Had a few offers and none of them historically gave FT offers but my summer internship paid above average and I did get to work on some high-level projects. No one will get a formal offer but depending on how the company looks in a month or two, they might be able to give out offers (my manager informally said he would have extended an offer if he knew he could). Took the summer to workout a lot and get back into shape.
Now that school starts soon, I'm getting uneasy with the idea of re-recruiting for full-time. Was contemplating FT consulting recruiting back in June but decided against it. Will likely go the safe route via corporate / F500, hopefully get an offer or two and continue to look for cool 'just-in-time' opportunities until graduation. I held back on reaching out to some contacts that can at least introduce me to some smaller companies I'm super interested in and plan not to during my 2nd year at least until later months if I'm still looking or at least have an offer. Unlikely these contacts will materialize to a well paying job but these companies do provide very unique opportunities to build a skillset that I'm trying to develop.
I don't feel particularly stressful but I do feel a bit overwhelmed. I'm sure once I'm back in school, I'll get back into the groove of things.
I was in a WFH role earlier in the year, but recently have wanted something closer to nature and non-sedentary. My church has a massive garden and I recently started working there part-time. When I lived in Canada for a year with my church, manual labor was common and it was some of the happiest times of my life. I was in nature everyday and getting a good workout in and generally felt great. Also, the Benedictine phrase is "ora et labora," which means work and prayer. I've really been focused on prayer and meditation recently and have been feeling great.
I also spend 20-30hrs per week caregiving and getting all my Dad's food and taking him to any doctor appointments; there were two this week. And we visit my mom 7x per week and I give her 2x 350cal Ensures for good nutrition. I generally think God approves of me right now. I have my sins and vices, but often think of 1 Peter 4:8 which says "love covers a multitude of sins."
Seems you've made it a priority to better yourself and the lives of those around you - much respect to you. I hope your family is doing well, I will always admire your commitment and dedication to your loved ones. Wishing nothing but good health and fortune to you and yourfam in the coming year and beyond.
Thanks Stonks
Yeehaw
Unfortunately, will likely be laid off at the end of this year given company restructuring/sale. Other than it’s ok - my father is sick - so maybe this severance package will allow me to watch over him some
Sorry to hear, hope he gets better.
So far so good - became a Talent of the Year in the Finance category and got a third place in the accounting and audit category so i can't complain. I also have a good job in the financial brokerage industry (I am from Bulgaria). In a few weeks i am going to start my final bachelor year in university - hopefully its going to be good. Dream big, stay hungry (but stay humble) and try not to procrastinate (the last one is really important).
Cheers guys,
RR
it could've been better but I'll try
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