I really enjoying rubbing salt in their wounds

Target school student here. Recently went on break to see people from my grade and how they were doing in college. I hate most of them because most are rich, spoiled cliquey brats (rich Asians) who never worked a day in their lives. Many of them are cocky and arrogant individuals who are naive to how cutthroat the real world is.

Seeing them not succeed in college (which are all worse than mine) and fail in succeeding in the lofty goals that they set for themselves (due to their lack of discipline, foresight, planning, or preparation, even if they have the intelligence) makes me feel happy, even though I know it's not good to feel this way. Personally, I am miles ahead, landing internships when they are far below me.

I sometimes purposefully brag about my successes (subtlety of course) to really rub the salt in their wounds.

How do I stop this mindset? I am legit becoming a more evil person ever since I went to my target. 

13 Comments
 

This is a very unhealthy way to act. To brag about it makes it even worse. Your mental health will be much better if you eliminate toxic behaviors. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

"Personally, I am miles ahead, landing internships when they are far below me."

This is my favorite sentence. Bro thinks he landed on the moon by just LANDING an INTERNSHIP. ROFLLLLLLLL

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 
Funniest

image-20250109034902-1

"If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

Allowing so much of your time and energy to be plagued by something so trivial is an unhealthy thing. It's no different than spending too much time on video games or clubbing - you're anchoring your success on an externality that has no bearing nor impact on your life outside of the one you give it. 

If one of these former peers end up succeeding in a few years, perhaps by sheer luck via investing in crypto, or nepotism in placing in an established boutique fund, or any number of means, does that diminish or takeaway from the life and path that you're paving for yourself? 

Put another way, can you set aside your own vanity to share in others' wins as they come into your life and let go of folks as they leave your life? Because if you find yourself not able to, then you'll always have this gnawing feeling that your success or milestones are either (1) superior to those you identify as inferior or (2) no where close to those you identify as superior.

Edit - to adopt a different mindset, I suggest proven cognitive behaviour therapy centered around introspection and perspective. You can start with something really small, begin a grattitude journal for five minutes a day at any time a day for a month. In it, you really want to just answer: "what went well today?", "what could I have done better?" and "what am I excited for tomorrow". It will slowly refocus your perspective by anchoring it to your own life instead of others'. You can always add a few questions like "Who have I not spoken to in ages" or "Who am I thankful for having met" to see who in your  life has been a postive influence adds to your energy. 

There are a myriad of other mindfulness exercises like finding a social hobby, taking on meditation, non-academic reading for perspective of other ways of thinking, and many, many others. But I find many of them will click a bit better after you adapt to a healthier mindset. 

 

Thats kind of a cope. If they are rich enough to already have generational wealth, you will need to work your whole career and get lucky to get where they are now.

 

Dead last in my high school class behind the guy who wasn't allowed to walk due to a heroin relapse. (he ended up in Zagat's 30 under 30 btw) 2 point something GPA at a non-target.

Oh, and I've co-authored papers with your upcoming HBS professors. 

How you like dem apples?

The only difference between Asset Management and Investment Research is assets. I generally see somebody I know on TV on Bloomberg/CNBC etc. once or twice a week. This sounds cool, until I remind myself that I see somebody I know on ESPN five days a week.
 

I graduated at the bottom in high school. The guys I went to school with like you never had this mentality. Keeping this attitude up will burn you. I’ve seen some boneheads pull off some serious success off of what appears to be pure luck.

I get it though, when I got my shit together I’d get pissed at people who were lacking in discipline during college. Reality is it does you zero good. It is far better to lift people up than put them down.

Also, rich kids also likely means connected parents. Don’t fuck that up.

I’m Christian and have found a ton of value in being less evil. Part of my beliefs is that sin/evil happens when you think about it - Christ taught this. Meaning if you think it, it’s the same as doing it in the eyes of God. To stop thinking about evil you have to actively stop evil thoughts when they enter, literally one part of your mind telling another ‘no.’ This does require discipline, which is great that you have it.

Another aspect is being humble, you don’t know everything and you’re actually a fool with some good fortune. You’re weaker in the areas than you realize in the areas you think you are strong. Life will likely have a way of showing you this - often from those who you once thought you were better than. It is important to let your pride be killed asap. You are very much at the bottom, well positioned, but effectively a nobody. Attaining something you care about is great, but you’d be amazed how many people view landing an internship as normal. Also, how many people don’t actually care what you’ve done. Focus on the plank in your eye, not the speck in your neighbors.

Pray often, Christ doesn’t allow those who follow him to get what they want when it does them harm. I’m amazed at the number of things I’ve asked for and never got that that would’ve burned me in the long run.

Ask for wisdom, this is one that is given freely but in doses. It results in higher level thinking and seeing the turns in life’s maze with ease. It also prevents long term mistakes.

Pray for your enemies, they may become allies as a result and also prevent them from harming you. Asking for a heart to be changed is better than asking to rise above them.

Kudos on wanting to be less evil. It’s a daily battle, but it doesn’t have to be alone. Also, most think they’re not evil. Acknowledging the fact that you are is a good first step.

I’ve scraped a bit of the surface, there is much more and it is all simple. Be thankful. Pray often, ask for much and you may be given some. Remember, it’s not actually yours, you’re just a steward. It can be taken away and quickly in front of the world, which is currently filled with evil that will love to watch you fall.

Only two sources I trust, Glenn Beck and singing woodland creatures.
 

Contrary to the marshmallows' aforementioned comments:

This insidious sense of competition is what builds dynasties. Step on their throats and hold eye contacts my boy 

 

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