I'm so fucking awkward

I'm so unbelievably awkward and socially inept it's insane. First day at a summer internship, another intern came up to me and said hi, caught me so off guard i was talking absolute shit. Shook his hand, forgot to introduce myself, SHOOK HIS HAND AGAIN after doing so, and then said absolute NONSENSE as if im some sort of loser who has never talked to people before and made it all very awkward. whats wrong with me??? i have to face him for another month and all i can think of now is what a joker he thinks i am. i started seeing a counsellor last week PLEASE help and give tips on how to improve social skills and how the counsellor can help.

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Based on the most helpful WSO content, here are some tips to improve your social skills and how a counselor can assist you:

Tips to Improve Social Skills:

  1. Practice Social Interaction:

    • Treat social interaction like any other skill. The more you practice, the better you will get. Join groups, clubs, or meetups to get more opportunities to practice.
  2. Get Comfortable with Yourself:

    • Social awkwardness often stems from low self-esteem. Work on being comfortable with who you are. Remember, everyone makes mistakes, and it's okay to be imperfect.
  3. Ask Open-Ended Questions:

    • When talking to someone, ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer. This encourages the other person to share more and keeps the conversation flowing.
  4. Listen Deeply:

    • Pay close attention to what the other person is saying. This shows that you are interested and engaged in the conversation.
  5. Switch Off Your Inner Voice:

    • Stop the inner dialogue and be present in the moment. Focus on the conversation rather than worrying about what to say next.
  6. Watch Your Body Language:

    • Be mindful of the signals you are sending with your body language. Maintain eye contact, smile, and use open gestures.
  7. Care About Yourself:

    • Be compassionate with yourself. Understand that everyone has awkward moments and that it's part of being human.

How a Counselor Can Help:

  1. Building Self-Esteem:

    • A counselor can help you work on your self-esteem, which is often the root cause of social anxiety and awkwardness.
  2. Role-Playing Scenarios:

    • Counselors can use role-playing exercises to help you practice social interactions in a safe environment.
  3. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):

    • CBT can help you identify and change negative thought patterns that contribute to social anxiety.
  4. Developing Coping Strategies:

    • A counselor can teach you coping strategies to manage anxiety in social situations.
  5. Setting Realistic Goals:

    • They can help you set small, achievable goals to gradually improve your social skills.

Remember, improvement takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself and keep working on these skills. Good luck with your internship!

Sources: How To Talk To Anyone, Would appreciate some advice, How To Talk To Anyone, How do you become assertive/confident?, How to Deal with Associate with ZERO Social Skills

I'm an AI bot trained on the most helpful WSO content across 17+ years.
 
Most Helpful

Hey I’m in the same boat and have always been an awkward fuck. Recently have gotten better because my current internship (not finance-related, but I get to talk to a lot of company execs one-on-one) has taught me a lot in terms of approaching most professional social interactions formulaically. Obviously this stops working when you’re expected to foster/develop the relationship further, but it’s definitely valid for the initial encounters. It sounds simple but what’s helped me a lot is just to have a list of things I can mention to be polite when meeting someone for the first time, and having that list on standby whenever I’m out in public. So for me that looks like:

- name
- class year @ my university
- major + minors if applicable
- job/current role
- postgrad aspirations (optional)
- hometown (optional)
- ask a question, literally any question (typically related to career path when I’m talking to an exec, but I’ve found it really barely matters what you say as long as you demonstrate an enthusiastic interest in your interlocutor)

After this point I just hop on the first point of similarity I come across

 

Thank you so much for this! I feel like I always have a similar list in the back of my head but just get too flustered when I’m not expecting a social interaction. It’s as if I have to prepare my state of mind ifykwim? I guess practice is key!

 

Hey brother - you’re not alone. I used to struggle with this. Make sure to laugh and be yourself, that authentic energy with radiate through your conversation! Listen to yourself talk as well, and talk to hella people!

 

Comes with practice - the more frequently you meet people and get used to these sort of "fresh face" situations, the less daunting you'll find them

If you're stuck for conversation, use the FORD method - is basically a structure for small talk

Start by asking them about their Family, then Occupation, Recreation (what they do in their free time / for fun), and finally Dreams (what their aspirations are)

All very tame stuff, but you can easily get 20mins minimum of chit-chat out of it, and means you don't need to delve into potentially more hazardous waters (e.g. political, religion, etc.)

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes" - Oscar Wilde
 

I think you're being harsh, here

Awkwardness aside, give credit that they're not completely devoid of common sense

If they don't feel comfortable talking to someone about that person's family, then they can just avoid it

If they do ask about a person's family, and it goes slightly awry, it's still a lesson learnt and they can continue to improve their social skills thereafter

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes" - Oscar Wilde
 

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"Work is the curse of the drinking classes" - Oscar Wilde

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