I'm so fucking awkward
I'm so unbelievably awkward and socially inept it's insane. First day at a summer internship, another intern came up to me and said hi, caught me so off guard i was talking absolute shit. Shook his hand, forgot to introduce myself, SHOOK HIS HAND AGAIN after doing so, and then said absolute NONSENSE as if im some sort of loser who has never talked to people before and made it all very awkward. whats wrong with me??? i have to face him for another month and all i can think of now is what a joker he thinks i am. i started seeing a counsellor last week PLEASE help and give tips on how to improve social skills and how the counsellor can help.
Based on the most helpful WSO content, here are some tips to improve your social skills and how a counselor can assist you:
Tips to Improve Social Skills:
Practice Social Interaction:
Get Comfortable with Yourself:
Ask Open-Ended Questions:
Listen Deeply:
Switch Off Your Inner Voice:
Watch Your Body Language:
Care About Yourself:
How a Counselor Can Help:
Building Self-Esteem:
Role-Playing Scenarios:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):
Developing Coping Strategies:
Setting Realistic Goals:
Remember, improvement takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself and keep working on these skills. Good luck with your internship!
Sources: How To Talk To Anyone, Would appreciate some advice, How To Talk To Anyone, How do you become assertive/confident?, How to Deal with Associate with ZERO Social Skills
Hey I’m in the same boat and have always been an awkward fuck. Recently have gotten better because my current internship (not finance-related, but I get to talk to a lot of company execs one-on-one) has taught me a lot in terms of approaching most professional social interactions formulaically. Obviously this stops working when you’re expected to foster/develop the relationship further, but it’s definitely valid for the initial encounters. It sounds simple but what’s helped me a lot is just to have a list of things I can mention to be polite when meeting someone for the first time, and having that list on standby whenever I’m out in public. So for me that looks like:
- name
- class year @ my university
- major + minors if applicable
- job/current role
- postgrad aspirations (optional)
- hometown (optional)
- ask a question, literally any question (typically related to career path when I’m talking to an exec, but I’ve found it really barely matters what you say as long as you demonstrate an enthusiastic interest in your interlocutor)
After this point I just hop on the first point of similarity I come across
Thank you so much for this! I feel like I always have a similar list in the back of my head but just get too flustered when I’m not expecting a social interaction. It’s as if I have to prepare my state of mind ifykwim? I guess practice is key!
Hey brother - you’re not alone. I used to struggle with this. Make sure to laugh and be yourself, that authentic energy with radiate through your conversation! Listen to yourself talk as well, and talk to hella people!
Comes with practice - the more frequently you meet people and get used to these sort of "fresh face" situations, the less daunting you'll find them
If you're stuck for conversation, use the FORD method - is basically a structure for small talk
Start by asking them about their Family, then Occupation, Recreation (what they do in their free time / for fun), and finally Dreams (what their aspirations are)
All very tame stuff, but you can easily get 20mins minimum of chit-chat out of it, and means you don't need to delve into potentially more hazardous waters (e.g. political, religion, etc.)
Not the best suggestion to tell a self-proclaimed awkward guy to lead off a conversation by asking about people’s families…likely gonna end up sounding like a total creep or pedophile
I think you're being harsh, here
Awkwardness aside, give credit that they're not completely devoid of common sense
If they don't feel comfortable talking to someone about that person's family, then they can just avoid it
If they do ask about a person's family, and it goes slightly awry, it's still a lesson learnt and they can continue to improve their social skills thereafter
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